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Coontact Tale #101

I remember shopping in a supermarket and running into a typical overweight black woman with a huge ass and spandex pants hovering over the meat section. She had two kids with her; one was around 10 and the other an infant, dressed in some dirty t-shirts and jeans. She was ringing the bell furiously to get the butcher. When he came out, she said, "Ah wants me some of the maple bacon that be on sale! You aint got no maple bacon here..." The butcher just looked at her and said, "I'm sorry maam, we must be all out of the maple bacon but you're welcome to buy some of the other Farmer John bacon that's on sale."

Her eyes got huge and she started bobbing her head back and forth and raised her voice, "What? Ah wants the muthafuckin maple bacon, the sign says all Farmer John bacon. I sure likes the maple bacon. Ah wants me some maple bacon!"

The butcher, not wanting to cause a scene told her to wait and he would look in the back and see what he could do.

As she waited, a business man came up to ring the butcher's bell but just before he was able to ring it, she stopped him by blocking his hand and asked him what he was doing.

"I have to pick up a platter that I ordered for an office party, do you mind?"

She was up in his face and really bobbing her head now, "Hell yes I do! He be in the back gettin me muh maple bacon! Now you just back your ass on up and wait a bit! Ah wants that muthafuckin maple bacon!"

Again, not wanting to cause a scene, the business man backed off and waited to the side.

She then proceeded to pace back and forth in her overly tight spandex pants and flip flops talking to her kids, "Yas sir, that muthafucka better bring me muh maple bacon. Sheet. Ah done told him dat ah wants muh maple bacon...." Over and over again. She was clearly getting more and more agitated as time went on.

I secretly hoped that the store didn't have any more maple bacon left just to see her go ballistic and wondered if anyone else watching the scene felt the same way.

Finally, the butcher returned and produced a pound of Farmer John maple bacon and gave it to her. Damn luck, I thought. He said, "Here maam, this is our last package of maple bacon."

"See? I told you that you be holding out that maple bacon in the back for youself! Sheet! Don't be trying no bullsheet on me!"

With that, she took it and left.

Upon checkout, she was only one aisle over and once again, the cause of another outburst.

"What do you mean you won't take my muthafuckin WIC coupon for maple bacon! It says right here for food and this here bes food!"

The cashier rolled her eyes and said, "I'm sorry, maam. WIC coupons are only for food for your infant. Milk, cheese, bread......and not bacon." (WIC is a food-stamp type program in California for minority mothers so they can feed their infants rather than using the welfare money for drugs and alcohol on themselves. I doubt a baby would want to chew on maple bacon)

This time, she was really agitated and not only bobbing her head back and forth but was jiggling her whole massive black body up and down. "Sheet! You all just be bullsheeting me now....put my muthafuckin maple bacon on the muthafuckin coupons!"

By that time, the manager came over and went between them and settled the situation somehow. I'm not sure exactly what happened after that as I was hurriedly rushed through my lane and went out to my car. The manager must have just given it to her for free or something to get rid of her.

This supermarket, being in a black neighborhood, had a big problem with losing so many of their shopping carts so they installed an anti-theft device in the parking lot. For those unfamiliar with this, it's a device that attaches to one of the wheels of the cart that locks up and seizes the wheel of the cart in the event that it leaves the parking lot. I believe it works on some sort of magnet system, I'm not sure. There are bold yellow lines painted in the lot with warnings that the cart will lock up if taken beyond those lines.

As I was heading for the exit in my car, I saw her pushing her cart and heading for one of the yellow lines, trying to push the shopping cart all the way home, completely oblivious to all the warning signs around her. (Many of them even had the warnings posted as graphic cartoons for people who couldn't even read and she didn't even comprehend those!)

I decided to hang back and park with my lights off to watch her.

Sure enough, she approached the yellow line still bitching to her kids about the maple bacon incident when ZAP! The right front wheel of her shopping cart locked up on the yellow line and sent her big fat black body spilling over the front edge of the cart and knocking it and all the contents over the side. Her milk, eggs, bread, and yes...her precious maple bacon all were knocked over and spread out in the parking lot.

It was truly a sight to behold. She looked like a huge black blob encased in spandex lying in the middle of spilled groceries and a shopping cart with her two kids standing over her.

There was a slight moment of silence. An uneasy silence. The kind of silence you feel right before Old Faithful erupts or the Space Shuttle launches. The silence you experience when you know that all hell is about to break loose.


"What the hell kind of sheet is this? What the hell is this bullsheet?"

Just then, her 10 year old said, "Momma, all the stuff spilled!"


With that, she got up and started to walk back into the store. She didn't bother to pick up any of her groceries or even turn back to make sure that her kids were following her. All I saw was 210 pounds of black ass walking to the store saying, "I'm going to tell them muthafuckas a thing or two...sheet...dey aint heard the end of dis sheet..they better come out here and clean dis sheet up...."

I could just imagine the impending scene in the store.

I considered going back into the store to pretend I was shopping some more just to hear the scene she would make but I had a better idea.

I put my car into drive and slowly drove away from the parking lot, making sure that both my tires ran over her precious maple bacon.

Tom Shelly

I never include a name in the my collection of Tales of Coontact unless asked.

Coontact Tale #102

The year was 1977, I was in high school and my highest priority was to get shit face drunk every weekend.

A friend of mine had a grandfather that owned a dairy, the huge dairy barn in middle of nowhere was the ideal place for underaged guys to hang out and get drunk. We are all sitting around shootin the shit getting really wasted. There was 5 white guys and 2 black guys there. One black guy named Daryn was really drunk, everyone was flapping their lips about how much pussy each was getting and I'm sure everyone was embelishing their story. Anyway a bunch of us pull together some cash and bet Daryn fifty bucks that he won't fuck this cow in a nearby stall. Daryn, known for being dim-witted, proceeds to getting one of those 15 gal stainless steel milk jugs and stands it up behind the cow in her stall. The crazy nigger pulls out his dick and sticks it in the cow! There Daryn is balanced on a barrel humping a cows pussy, the cow casually looks back at him and moos. Daryn never misses a beat, the cow shits all over him, the shit falls in his pants and underwear that are around his ankles, and we all roll on the ground laughing. He gets mad, staggers to his car and leaves. Naturally the first thing monday morning, the entire school knows the whole story. The dumbass nigger can't go 10 feet in school without someone mooing at him. I even wrote "Ride 'em Cowboy" in his yearbook. That nigger better be glad no one had a camera.

The funniest thing is, he's a Baptist Preacher around Houston Texas today!

It comes from the "Muh dik" the male nigger sufferes under.

Coontact Tale #103

I once took a bus from Jacksonville, North Carolina to Bennetsville, South Carolina.

Not long into the trip a black slobbering ape with a good looking blond white trash bitch sidekick began terrorizeing passengers. He would approach some unfortunate person and slap them on the head. He would take others magazines or food and from some he demanded and recieved money. He would heap threats and foul language on his victims, women were groped, fondled while his slut sidekick egged him on for even more. Everyone, including the driver, were terrified of him.

Then he made eye contact with me and it was my turn. He approached me with a curse on his lips so I slid my 9mm auto out of concealment enough for him to see it which stopped dead in his tracks. I ordered him to take the seat directly in front of me wich he did and advised him that if he so much as looked my way he was one dead coon. I ordered the slut to go to the toilet and remain there till the next stop cause thats where shit belongs.

Every 5 min. or so I slapped the coon on the back of the head to let him know he was now at my mercy.

The remainder of the trip was peaceful.

Coontact Tale #104

This was a couple of years ago.

I was riding the bus from college back home (at the time I could not afford a car for myself) and it was typical that niggers would cause a ruckus on the bus.

This time it went to fisticuffs, some nigger broad on crack started niggerbabbling to this white female who was cross from her and things got ugly. The nigger broad threw her shoe at the white female and then the white female kicked the nigger bitch. Needless to say the bus driver called ahead and had the police waiting at the transfer point (of course, this incident made me late to get transfered to the next bus on my route home) however, the nigger bitch started wailing and moaning, "what yo' be not opening dis doow fo' me." and "i ain'ts done nuffin." Needless to say, once the police had arrived, she was delt with by the men in blue. Though, I have really no idea why she attacked the white female, I guess it was just a case of TNB.

Coontact Tale #105

Back in my highschool days, which was just about the time MTV turned into BET. There where lots of sluts in highschool who bedded down with niggers or who wanted to go out with niggers but wouldn't as long as they lived at home with mom and dad. There was this one girl who had the world going for her, today she is the not so proud mom of 3 stair step children (stair step for those of you who don't know, is a reference to children sired by different fathers) 9, 6 & 4 I believe.

When I saw her on college campus back then she only had 1 niglet; however, today she has 3 and they are obviously by different fathers. She has a shitty job which obviously indicates she never made it past college due to her wanting to fuck niggers. The moral of this story is, if AIDS doesn't get you, your own stupidity in wanting to fuck niggers will ruin your life.

A lot of it has to do with the entertainment industry wanting to show niggers in a good light but you are so right. Nothing ever good comes from a white person having anything to do with a Negro and, as far as having sex with them, I wish they would bring back the laws dealing with beastiality.

I knew someone once whose white daughter identified with niggers, watching MTV, BET and having nigger friends over to her house constantly.

This bothered my friend (actually a co-worker) a lot but being racist was not PC and he would never teach his daughter the evils of racism.

Her senior year in high school she gets knocked up by, you guessed it, a nigger buck.

Buck takes off for another part of the country and this stupid white girl decided 1)not to get an abortion and 2)keep the niglet!

It gets worse. Much worse.

Young girl shits out a nigglet but keeps cavorting with niggers. One night the pack-o-niggers talked her into crossing a state line driving one of the bros niggermobiles. Of course, the bro asking never bothered to tell her about the drugs he had hidden in the trunk and, by the way, he forgot to mention the car was stolen to boot.

She gets caught after crossing a state line (federal rap here too) and all of her nigger friends (every single one of them) swore they didn't even know her.

The niglet was put in foster care while she was put in prison. Minimum of six years and she will be 26 when she gets out.

God Damn It! Tell your children that NOTHING good can ever come from associating with niggers! Tell them now and tell them often!

Coontact Tale #106

Here is the story of John Edward Devoe (this happened back in the early 90s and I have seen sketchy references to him on other pages).

John Edward Devoe was 32 years old when he went into a nigger hood looking for some dope, this dope came across a pack of niggers and asked them who s holding. Well, the niggers began beating the shit out of him for no good reason (later they give an excuse to their behavior) however, once they started squabbling over who gets devoes bike, they get some more of their friends to join in. A total of seven niggers attack this man, beating him, punching him, kicking him in the head with steel toed shoes and breaking a bottle on his face. Once he lay unconscious due to the beating (all of the while he was being called cracker and statements like "lets kick this cracker to sleep" where being hollered out.) one of the boogie s unzips and urinates on him, saying "now its over cracker." Needless to say hours later he was dead and the media sat on this story for 2 weeks, they feared "racial tensions" would be sparked over his beating death. Actually, the NAACP had their hands in this because they obviously wanted to make sure the story wasn't too harrowing or call attention to the fact that niggers are violent animals; however, the niggers who killed Devoe tried to excuse themselves by saying they where mad about something that had happened to them earlier. Out of all the niggers rounded up who had beat him, only one of them is serving 40 years in prison the others have gotten out only to commit crimes again. You can find this out by going to the local Daytona newspaper the News Journal and searching for John Devoe in the archives. Needless to say, this is a good example of niggers don't get the 3rd degree that whites get if the attack was reversed.

It is also noteworthy to say that a day or two after the story broke some nigger bitch pulled a Twana Brawnley and was reported immediately that someone had attacked her and called her naughty names only to find out that she had lied. Moral of this story is, when liberals live in lily white suburbia, it is very easy for them to ridicule someone who does not want to live near niggers due to their violent nature, it's only after they survive a dose of TNB that they ever change their pipings.

There are two important moral of the stories that I can see. First is never do drugs because it is stupid and leads to niggerish behavior. Second is to always maintain as much distance between you and the niggabeasts as possible and this means NEVER going to the hood except if you travel through by car with the doors locked are you are well armed.

If forced to travel through niggerfuxated areas often I would suggest you invest in The Nigger Blaster. The Nigger Blaster has been throughly tested in South Africa and now offered in America by AFN technologies.

Coontact Tale #107

One warm Summer evening I was sitting with three of my friends at a sidewalk cafe when a negroid of our acquaintance came boogey-ing along.

He stopped when he noticed us, and I don't know what he was smoking, but he went in to a typical africoon rant. He began by saying that negro athletes were superior to Whites. I countered by asking him about all the great Black weight-lifters,wrestlers, swimmers, skiers, skaters, and hockey players. That really got him flustered.

He got so excited he said that he could beat any one of us up if he felt like it. He weihed about 130 pounds. Each of us were over 180. He's lucky we were amused by his monkeyshines.

Then he started off about all the great black musicians, and I countered with names of great White musicians, and told him that Whites had also created great symphony orchestras and all of the instruments in them.

I asked him if he had ever heard of Beethoven, or Tchaikovsky.....and he replied,"Shit, if dat mutherfuggin' Shykovsky came to town, ah wouldn't go see him!"

I just love it when Negroes get cultural!

Coontact Tale #108

My brother was working security at Mercy Hospital in Orlando, in an area that was filled with savage negro beasts. One evening I went to pick him up from work using his car which was equipped with a radio that had police calls.

I saw that the 7-11 parking lot was empty and I pulled in for a coke and a chocolate bar. Fortunately for me, the radio was on in the car outside, and I happened to be wearing a black shirt and black slacks, which is what the Orlando police wear.

When I left the store to go back to the car, the parking lot was filled with about 20 teenaged zulus, one of which was actually wearing two hats on his l'il burry head.

They heard the cop calls on the radio and saw me dressed in black and they "axed" me," Is you da Man?" (Meaning: are you a cop?) I caught on very quickly and replied. "Yep, I'm the man.

I walked back to the car, and drove away thinking, "Yep, I'm the man alright, I'm the man who's getting the hell outta HERE!"

Coontact Tale #109

"J" pointed out something I had failed to mention in the essay having ot do with Intelligence and the Negro. On the intelligence page, it wasn't mentioned that the vast majority of GENIUSES come from the WHITE RACE

You are right "J" and I stand corrected. When is the last time you heard of a great genius coming out of Africa?

Coontact Tale #110

While I was also working at Six F---s amusement park, I was working a ride called Batman And Robin the Chiller (great ride) and there's a size restriction because the lap bar has to be pulled down so far. Anyway, this Big Beefasaurus of a nigger gets in and I can't fit him in, there's no way. He refuses to get up, absolutely. We can't start the ride. We explained he is "too large" to ride, still he refuses to budge. I ordered the operator to call security and only after they're called he then wants to get up..(why do these people do this? Only do shit when threatened by authority involvement?) So he gets up, Calls me "racist" and what have you. I said no comment and told him to keep away from me. I thought he was going to take a shot or something, another attendant seemed to think so too* Then hes like "ah aint gonna do nuffin foo', dayamn" or something. Seemed like he would.

Eventually security shows and I told him to fuck right off.

I hear what you are saying. Anymore I make it a policy to never go where niggers go.

Coontact Tale #111

The same reader has yet another story of Coontact to offer from Six F---s! Im a little shaky on this one because it happened last August or so.

Anyway, I was working at Six F---s Great Adventure in NJ, and was one of the people in charge of Rides operation. This one ride, called Ch*os, was a spinny ride that goes upside down. Nothing big, But one of the things we employees do is snag up the change that drops, as we are not responsible for lost of stolen articles.

So anyway, during a normal day, change falls out as usual and at the end of the cycle we grab it........Every ride does it. And this family of like 3 niggers (a nigger woman and her niglets) come up to me and say they lost about $2.00 in change or so..I reply I haven't seen $2.00 (I had snagged probably about 50 cents during that cycle) then we hear the whining and "racist" names. At that moment before there was a shift leader there with me to go along with it, she was getting nervous and telling me to give up some money. im like "fuck no" so she gave a niglet a quarter or something and they left.

Like I said im sure it went a little different then this as it happened in sweltering 90 degree heat almost a year ago, but this is pretty much what happened.

Like I said I never go on vacation where there might be niggers. How do I avoid this? I go where it costs more. Take a beach resort for example. Two side by side beach resorts one charging $150 a night and the other charging $250 a night. Pick the more expensive, even if there is little outward appearance, and your chances of running into niggers is much less. Not to look at niggres is worth an extra $100 a day when you are on vacation.

Coontact Tale #112

Some stories of Coontact, especially when it comes to white women, are not funny at all but it is Coontact nonetheless.

I spoke once with a guy who attended an evening at a water amusement park in San Jose. He proceeded to tell me about a mob of fifty of so African-American teen-age males that were wilding in the park's massive wave pool. By "wilding", of course, I mean they were running through the pool, tearing off the bikini tops of young, teen-age girls (none of whom were black, and none of whom thought it was very funny.) Now any "non-racist" person would say that this is just typical "boys will be boys" behavior; or, that boys of any race might act in this manner. Could you imagine, for one second, a mob of white youths forcefully pulling the bathing suits off a group of african american girls; most courts would consider this sexual assault. The guy who told me this story said one of his friends was a victim of having her top snatched, and that she had to jump on his back to cover herself.

He said there was nothing he could do seeing that there were no fewer than 50 of the african-americans and just one of him. I honestly try not to be hateful in this world, but incidents like this boil my blood.

I know this kind of shit happens and should piss us all off! I have a good friend, Rev. Cleaver, who would be good at culling herds. If only the government would give him a cull permit. If white boys did this to nigger females the uproar we would hear would raise the dome of the capital building but, since the girls are white, not a word is uttered because that would be racist! Niggers are predatory pack animals all right. I posted this to show why segregation was good idea yesterday, why segregation is a good idea today and why segregatin is a better idea tomorrow!

Coontact Tale #113

While on a date, I stopped at a gas station to fill up. I was unscrewing the gas cap when I notice a nigger shuffling across the parking lot in my direction. I started slowly screwing the gas cap back on when the nigger yells: “Yo, can I talk with you for a second”. I drop the gas hose jump in the car, start the engine, and take off squealing the wheel as much as possible heading out of the parking lot.

When the woman I was with ask what happened I told her. She then asked why I did it. I told her I did not want to beaten and or murdered and did not want to see her raped. I really could not stop laughing the whole night. The nigger must have thought: “dam, dat white boy got us niggaz all figured out.” I hope the other Whites who saw my actions that night will feel more comfortable fleeing the seen when they find themselves having a coontact moment.

I believe that our schools should show a video of my reactions that night has proper way to react when find yourself in coontact. Our children should be taught that there is nothing wrong or to be ashamed of fleeing a coontact. After all, how many men would go the zoo if the animals were aloud to roam around freely.

If you think about it, what are the odds that a coontact late night coontact will result in a positive experience for the White? About zero. There is really no reason to even entertain the idea.

Sound advice especially for men who are unarmed and especially women! All coontact is bad.

Coontact Tale #114

Jesus Christ, I hope I never have to step inside that post office ever again. it took me over an hour just to pick up some mail.

First of all, I shouldn't have even needed to come pick it up, because I was home at the time that they tried to deliver it, I guess they just didn't feel like ringing the bell. So they leave that pink slip telling me to come pick it up.

I get there - big ass line. only 2 windows open, working at a snail's pace . it took them 50 minutes just to be finished with one guy, the other window was taking about 15 minutes pe person (god knows why). behind the counters, I see various postoffice-tards just pacing back and forth in the office. Every now and then someone who's been waiting forever snaps and starts yelling "open some more windows, dammit!". So one of the postoffice-tards looks at him and says "don't look at me, I'm busy!". Yeah, real busy.. so finally after 50 minutes the line is just way too big and there's too much noise, so one of the tards (black woman with an attitude) "graciously" agrees to take time from doing jack shit and help us out (which is actually her job). I give her my pink slip, and just for shits and giggles I ask "what are you so busy with?"

So she says "I'm looking for mah scanner". get it? all fucking morning she's been loitering behind the counters, NOT WORKING, because she's "looking for her scanner". So she takes my slip and disappears for 10 minutes. She comes back, throws the slip to the side and says "I can't find it nowhere". She then looks at one of her co-workers and says "fuck this, I'ma going home. I'm serious, I'ma going home". (did I mention this was before noon?). yeah, you've been working your ass off "looking for that scanner", you need to take off after 3 hours cuz you're so exhausted.

So she disapears and now I'm left with my dick in my hand, the slip is on the other side of the glass, I need it because it's the only proof I have that they got my package nad they will probably loose it, I also don't know if they are going to re-deliver or maybe I need to come back tomorrow. it takes another 10 minutes to get an answer and leave empty handed.

I think I will only use Fed-Ex from now on

A reader responded with this

You think this is bad. They put these new stamp machines in the post offices around here and this is sopmething they should have done a long time ago. When you only need one stamp or a couple, it's very convenient to use.

They also will not charge you more than what the stamp is worth like those old machines used to do. God forbid they do this, stamps are already too much!

Well, the dilemma is that I went into the post office to get two stamps and some retard must have been in there some time ago and jammed up the coin slots to the stamp machine. Now, being that I had not been to the bank yet, since it was on the other side of town, I decided to take a bit of change and mail the bills I had to mail and then go to the bank. Way more convenient for traveling purposes.

All I needed was a couple stamps and the dumb asses couldn't fix the damn machine like I asked them to do. It's very simple. Open it up and clear the coin slot. It takes all but about 15 seconds. No, I had to wait in line for 30 minutes to get two stamps. Luckily, three people ahead of me were nice enough to let me go and get the stamps and be on my way. Mind you, these were white folks who offered me to go ahead of them. Had this been niggers, this would have not happened and I'd probably still be standing in line.

Looks like this coontact tale hit a nerve because yet another reader responds with this

HOLY SHIT that cracked me up! Damn, that sounds EXACTLY like any given post office here. I mailed all my tax info shit to my accountant the other day, and it took the chimps 45 minutes just to get through the line, and they had 9 or 10 windows open. It was fuckin' ridiculous. Are white people allowed to work for the post office anymore? 'Cause this one looked like the bottom of the "Amistad."

Coontact Tale #115

Fat nasty Aunt Jemima-looking bitch at the bus stop one day yammering on about her "suitcase" she's getting with her son's school. As painful as it was, I continued to listen to get a better idea of this "suitcase" and how the word was used in context. Apparently, the school had done her boy wrong by expelling him for bringing a loaded gun into the school. By her account, the school had gone too far with the expulsion when a mere 10 day suspension would have sufficed. Now the boy is sitting around the house all day and staying out all night. She intends to bring legal action against the school for her new found inconvenience of having to watch the kid during the day and wants $$ to cover the added expense.

Hence the "suitcase".

I shit you not.

Coontact Tale #116

Another tale from the same guy who brought you Tales From Six Flags

Ok, so today i was a bit late for work Im driving on the road to pull onto the highway, and its one turn to get on the ramp...and theres this car in front of me, instead of him directly turning, he stops. (No one stops unless theres a car coming across so you dont hit him, there was one car and he and I could have definetely made the turn.) So anyway, im late for work and my window was open so i shook my hand like "go, come on" and i see the driver put the car in park, and this thuggish nigger with a bald head GETS OUT of the car, so im like "oh shit" i spun my wheel to the right, went around him and took off onto the highway, i look and see the dumbass getting back into his car. Doing like 105 just to be sure i lose him right? i look in the rearview mirror, i think i see him but oh well. The only reason i took off was because my work was only 1 stop off the highway (about 4 miles) and I did NOT want that bush hopper to know where i work.

My question is why did he get out in the first place? He shouldve known i wouldve gone around him, dumb niggers will NEVER grow common sense.

Later on that day i hear from a coworker that someone complained about someone trying to shoplift. Obviously its a nigger who cant walk straight, looks like he got his leg broke to me. And guess what he was attempting to steal? Like Mike....the new nigger/white childrens comedy about basketball and eating their own shit, and god knows what else. Anyway he didnt get caught since the dvd was there still and whatever. But this was one day of coontact id rather forget. ;)


I know how you feel, coontact is always bad and it is something we would all rather forget.

Coontact Tale #117

On Saturday, March 8, 2003, I met up with a friend at the Regal Cinema in Hadley Mall in South Plainfield, NJ. We were going to see the 2:20 showing of "Bringing Down the House." We had a horrible experience from the word "go." We experienced rudeness and racism from fellow patrons and indifference from your staff, and that was just in the lobby!

When we got to the theater, only one ticket booth was open, even though there was a long line of people waiting to get their tickets. I stayed in line while my friend went inside to get us snacks.

When I finally got into the lobby of the theater, I found my friend on line behind a group of eight people. She had an upset look on her face so I asked her what was wrong. She told me that the woman in front of her was the only person on line when she got there, but the woman had come to the theater with her family and friends and was yelling to each one to come over and put in their order. When my friend spoke up, asking the woman to have her friends and family get in line after my friend because it wasn't fair that so many people were cutting in front of her, the woman gave her an attitude and yelled, "You do NOT know who you are messing with!" and continued to let people cut in line. My friend and I are white and the majority of the patrons in the theater were black, including the family who cut in line. It was painfully obvious that they enjoyed putting the "two white bitches" in their place. The other patrons were really enjoying watching us get abused.

Needless to say, it took us a long time to get our snacks, and the entire time, the family in front of us were calling us "crackers" and other racial slurs. The person who was waiting on the family had seen and heard the entire thing but it was obvious that he ddn't care and wasn't going to get nvolved. When it was finally our turn to place our order, I asked the person why he hadn't said anything when he saw the family cutting and being rude. He simply shrugged.

We also mentioned something to the person who took our tickets but he acted like he hadn't even heard us. He didn't even tell us which theater our movie was in. As we were wandering around trying to find our theater, we ran into the manager. We also told him what we had experienced in the lobby and he simply shrugged and said, "I'm sorry." I told him that if one more thing went wrong, we were going to demand our money back.

It didn't take very long for something else to go wrong. We finally found our theater and were greeted by hooting and hollering by the same family we had had problems with in the lobby. They didn't seem to care that they were all the way on the other side of the theater; they just seemed to love yelling at the two "crackers."

We tried to stay calm and tried to ignore them and relax. However, when the movie reel broke and the house lights came up before the feature even started, we got up, went back to the box office, and got our money back. We asked to speak to the manager again but we were told he was very busy. The person at the box office asked what was wrong. I told him, "Let's see. Besides only one person being out here at the box office, experiencing rudeness and racism from fellow patrons, a staff that doesn't care about anything, and a busted movie reel, everything is just fine!"

We got our money back and left, vowing to never step foot in a Regal Cinema again. All my friend and I wanted to do was enjoy an afternoon at the movies. We are two upstanding citizens who happened to be practically the only white patrons in the theater, and simply because of our skin color we were subject to verbal abuse. I am convinced that if we had continued standing up for ourselves, we would have been attacked. And your staff, again, would probably have done nothing. I don't even think the manager was over the age of 21! It was disgusting.

This problem has me so upset that I'll never again see another movie at your theater.

A copy of this letter is being sent to all of the newspapers in my area. Everyone has the right to know that your cinemas simply don't care about the safety of its patrons and that you promote racism and rudeness.

Whenever I do go to the movies I make sure I visit a threatre where niggers do not go. Can't stand to be around niggers like that. Stupid shitskins will fuck up an otherwise perfect evening faster then shit through a goose.

Coontact Tale #118

About 2 weeks ago a new student who recently immigrated from St. Petersburg Russia was slapped in the back of the head by a hateful black kid.

To my amazement this little russian boy got out of his seat and grabbed the negro by his shirt, spun him around about three times, slammed him against the wall and beat the daylights out of him.

Because of school policy both children were suspended and their parents had to come before the principal.

I also had to be there.

The black man arrived about 10 minutes early and as can be expected he was a typical mouthy negro who tried to use racism as the factor which caused the event.

Even after I had told him what had happened he persisted.

10 minutes later Sergies father came in. he stood about 6'4" piercing blue grey eyes, very lean and muscular.

The negroes attitude completely shifted (to put it lightly he turned from a lion to a lamb) and he even tried to slap his son for causing the fight.

As Sergies father was leaving he very audibly .......within ear shout of all.....with a thick russian accent........ fearlessly excersized his free speech and said......


Welcome to America! The longer they live here the more they will learn to hate the nigger shitskins. Niggers are universally hated and with good reason.

Coontact Tale #119


Coontact Tale #120

I saw this fat monkey bitch eat almost all of the sample of some kind of fish in the seafood dept. at a Publix..just stood there and kept eating the shit..and there were other people behind her waiting to try a sample

You need to shop at non-nigger stores.

Coontact Tale #121

In front of me in line...last year.

She dropa a whole fucking jar of pig's feet on the floor. The juice and shit goes all over my shoes and pants.

She doesn't even apologize.

Of course the niggabitch doesn't apologize and we should all avoid the nigger-marts that cater to niggers with cheap Made in China garbage. We must ask ourselves the question "Would you shop at a store than officially banned niggers?" I know I would.

Coontact Tale #122

I met this girl say 4 months ago online, she lived bout 15 mins away from me. She knew I was racially aware and a skinhead and she still liked me and wanted to see me. When I went to her apartment (she's 16 or so and lives alone with one roommate she says) it was in a apartment complex filled with about 50 niggers and 3 whites.

No shit.

The surrounding town was actually not too shabby either. The apartment isnt so bad looking, but anyway. Turns out she lives with a mud fucking race mixing nigger loving whore with a black baby. I mean...this girl...was so beautiful until I learned about her mistake. Blond hair, blue eyes, perfect body. And this kid was like, nothing I'd ever want to be involved with. The father was in the picture but I guess treated her like shit (duh) visiting once every few weeks or something.

Fast forwarding a bit, so my girlfriend turns out pretty cool, I educate her a bit by giving lectures, reading from World church of the creator books, sending her photos, etc. She catches on then one night breaks down and says its not her to be like that. I shrug it off figuring its just the media coming back at her or something.

Later on, her roommate finds out I'm a racist, actually I think she knew it when she saw me or oversaw one of our online conversations, but never said anything. I didnt talk to her, we just didnt really fit for obvious reasons. Its dissapointing that she had to go and do that.

A few days later, this nigger comes in the apartment, burst into our room in the morning while we're sleeping and starts up niggertalk and questions about god knows what. He even asks me what my shirt said! (Blue Eyed Devils, lol) So anyway she kicks him out and we lock him out. Later on I eavesdrop on her roommate and that nigger talking and they're babbling something about racism..Of course by that point I'm nervous as HELL figuring this nigger could try something and not give a shit if he gets the death penalty or not.

These niggers don't care what happens to them. At that point I felt like a cornered mouse, I couldn't get to the door without Coontact, couldn't get out the window, etc. I had my switchblade in case anything like this happened. I called the police and they came and escorted me out and I told them everything I was thinking and just got nods. That kid was actually my girlfriends friend and from that day on I didn't speak to her nor go to that place ever again. :)


btw for one of the above postings: Publix isnt exactly a cheaper nigger foodstore here in florida (used to live in NJ) So try to find somewhere in a good area, even if it means going a few miles out of your way. Sometimes ill food shop down by the beach in a good area.

Thank you once again to SixFlagsMan for his valuable contribution. It is indeed a sad reality that the younger white girls have been so brainwashed by the media that cavorting with niggers is viewed as anything but beastiality. You can't really blame the nigger because all he wants to do is upgrade his genes but the white girl is doing a crime against humanity by introducing an animal gene into the human species.

Niggers are such filthy beasts I don't understand for the life of me why any white woman (or man) would want to be within 100 yards of one. Well, except if hunting of course.

Coontact Tale #123

I had been dating a chick for about 5 months when I made an off-hand remark about black cocks being really big. She got this weird look on her face and sort of looked away. I fucking knew it right then. I asked her if she had ever had sex with a black guy. She hemmed and hawed for a little bit and then admitted that she had. Gave this story about how she spent a summer in the Bahamas when she was in her early 20's and that she had sex with a black guy while she was there.

I'm thinking ok, she had sex with some Island Brother, no big deal. Turns out the guy was from god damned Atlanta...just some run of the mill American negro. So I keep pressing her for details and I can tell she doesn't really want to talk about it but I am insistent. She passes it off as this "oh every white girl fantasizes about it and I was in the Bahamas and it was very carefree and it just happened". I ask her how she met this guy, she gave some vague story about he knew a friend of hers and he was really pursuing her to go out with him so she finally did. She went out with him and fucked him that night....and she was surprised that he never called her back. That's right, my girlfriend got fucked -n- chucked by a negro. I knew right then and there that I was going to have to end things. I dunno, my opinion of her just went WAY down when I heard the story.

I am pretty pissed at her at this point and I sarcastically ask her if he had a big cock. She says with a straight face "No, not at all. It was just average, not big at all. I was disappointed because I was expecting something REALLY big". She was DISAPPOINTED? She EXPECTED A BIG FAT FUCKING HUGE BLACK COCK?!?! Jesus Christ, at this point I am regretting ever having gone out with this chick let alone having her as my girlfriend for several months.

Ok, at this point I knew I had to end things. I waited about a week and gave her a story about having different interests, we've been drifting apart...blah, blah, blah. She gets teary and tries to talk me into sticking together and "working it out". I tell her it's just not a good idea and that it may be painful, but that a clean break is best in the long run. She's still a little weepy and saying she can't believe it, things were going so well...blah, blah, blah.....then she gets this spiteful look on her face and says, "this is about that black guy I had sex with, isn't it"? I tell her not to be ridiculous, that it doesn't matter. She gets all upset and offended and says she never would have told me if she had known I would react like this.

Bingo. I say, "See, you wouldn't have a problem hiding something from me if you thought I would react badly to it. I consider that dishonest and if I can't trust you, there REALLY is no reason for us to ever go out again".

She didn't have an answer to that, so she got up and gathered up the few things she had at my apt. and left without saying goodbye.

Yours is a sad story of a young woman s fall from the rolls of humanity by committing bestiality ruining her life. Among the many myths perpetrated by leftist media there is the "it is bigger" myth widely circulated. Not true my friends, scientific study has shown that size difference is negligible when erect but, in all fairness, these same studies have shown niggers are bigger when in a flacid state. I can only surmize that it is the "bigger in the flacid state" results that niggers jump on in a pitiful attempt to find just one area where they are superior to the white man.

So sad but true. In any event we have all seen it again and again where cavorting with niggers results in the destruction of the white woman.

I recently received this email from a young lady who recoiled in horror at the idea that most white girls fantaize about niggers and the muh dik.


Dear Mr. Cletus,

I just read coontact tale #123, and the part where the guys girlfriend told him all white girls fantasize about sleeping with a nigger is 100% NOT TRUE!!! Never!

I am sure some do, poor misguided souls, but I NEVER HAVE. The very thought of it makes me physically sick! If a nigger- god forbid- ever tried to rape me he would probably have to kill me first. And it's not a case of "thou protests too much", either. My husband has asked me that before,(in a kidding way), and he knows better now. Please tell this man if you know who he is, that is not true. Or just post this under his story. Whatever. I cant stand to hear that kind of stuff!!!


Just to remind the niggers that may be lurking. Few white women fantacize about sleeping with niggers. It is a myth just as the big "my dik" is a myth.

Coontact Tale #124

I cussed out this dumb black bitch this morning writing parking tickets

It was presentation day this morning for our final projects and we had a bunch of heavy models and pieces to carry in to show. So about 4 of us were pulled up in our cars unloading and carrying stuff into the building. Then here comes the campus parking ticket lady. She starts writing tickets to everyone parked there.. and get this.. it is an UNLOADING ZONE.. we are like.. WHAT THE FUCK! We are UN-LOAD-ING the unloading zone.. why are you writing tickets? She goes.. "Well, they told me to comes out here and do dis!" I was like.. well you can do "do dat" somewhere else.. And she continues to write tickets and goes "I'm not stopping" and then proceeds to write even the professors cars tickets.. I go, LISTEN HERE YOU DUMB BITCH! YOU STOP WRITING THOSE! she was like NO!... I was like GOD DAMMIT! I SHOULD KICK YOUR ASS AND TAKE YOUR LIL COMPUTER AWAY!!.. YOU WAIT RIGHT HERE AND DONT WRITE ANY MORE SHIT! I'm getting the department head and the secretary!

LMAO.. so i come back with both of em.. and the department head goes.. I want you to get all those tickets for me and I'll talk to your boss.. I'm very good friends with him.. So she gets all the tickets she just wrote and hands them to em and was like.. I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB! and I crack on her.. Well hope you enjoyed it bitch!!

That made my day to score one against the fuckheaded campus parking nazis. RA!

Nothing worse then a fat niggabitch with power!

Coontact Tale #125

My life has turned in ways I did not dream and for a number of years, I have had a job that required a regular, massive amount of coontact. Most of it I try to forget as quickly as possible, but here are a few, mostly recent tales from the cubicle farm.

1)It was a typical male ebonic trash, early 20's, unemployed, unemployable, no where to go, nothing to do, all day to do it, still living at home with his mother, and a command of the English language surpassed only by a drunken chimp with a blood alcohol content of .40.

I asked him what he did all day. He replied he was enrolled in school. I asked where. He replied the local community college. I asked how he was paying for it. He replied with a grant. (At this point, I asked God to control my tongue because I and my daughter will soon take out a $10,000 loan for her to attend a state college. Not the one the ebonic trash was going to, but a real college). I took a deep breath and asked the ebonic trash what he was studying. he replied, and I quote, "Wit da kompoota injun-nearing" .

My first thought was, Nintendo or Playstation? My second thought was that when he discovered the on button and the internet, he would go straight to the porn sites and would be off the streets for weeks. They are dumb-asses.

2)It is an old thought, but worth retelling, regarding the comment above about the drunken chimp, the Monkey Liberation Front has requested I refrain from further comparisons. The monkeys and apes are tired of being denigrated with comparisons with ebonic trash.

3)But, even with a college diploma, niggers are niggers. A female co"worker" came in one morning screeching how she thought she had donated money to the Klan. It seems some kid came by selling candy for a social service organization like the Moose/Elks/Rotarians, and she bought a candy bar. I listened politely, told her what the organization did and inwardly chuckled how stupid she was. She kept screeching. After three hours of listening as she went up and down the halls proclaiming her abyssal ignorance to all and sundry, I was tired of it. So I turned on my office computer, clicked on the internet icon and in less than two minutes had the mission statement and some other info from the service organization's website.

I went towards her voice and found her in her cubicle, telling another ignorant female ebonic trash the story. I politely interrupted the conversation, handed her the internet printouts, and reminded her that the computer on her desk had internet access also. I said if she needed help searching for stuff, I'd be happy to do it for her, but per company policy, we are allowed reasonable use of the internet. She was quiet the rest of the day. I also managed to bump into the rest of the humans who work in the office to let them know what I had done. I got a lot of smiles that afternoon.

4)Another female ebonic co"worker" in another department was recently involved in a traffic accident. It was a minor fender bender but, quickly shucking any pretense to honor and reverting to her lying, thieving, cheating nature, she was in a-g-o-n-y. She stayed out with the pain, she consulted doctors. She even talked with a lawyer, preparing to sue the other driver. Then she was miraculously healed when she discovered the other nigger driver did not have insurance. Surprise, surprise. TNB on both their parts.

5)My daughter was homeschooled from roughly grade 4 through grade 9. Once out of the school system(and away from niggers), her standardized Iowa test scores rose from 77 to 99 and stayed there. Enough said. Then for 10th grade, she wanted to return to high school, more for the social aspects than anything else. She wasn't there two weeks and some adolescent nigger trash was calling my house. She said it was to have her help him with classwork. I didn't like it, but, well, ok. Then a week later, she asked to go to a dance. She mentioned the location. I asked who would be there. She said her friends, I said who? She gave me a name. I asked if it was the same creature she had been helping with homework. She said yes. I said she was staying home.

We had a discussion. I said if I had one thought she was involved with a nigger, I'd yank her out of that school, that nigger was NOT welcome to call again for any reason and if he failed, so be it.

She looked at me and said,"Daddy, you're a racist."

I said, "Thank you for the complement. My word stands. Do you have any questions?" Apparently not. She is about to graduate, it has been over two and a half years since that discussion and no further problems. Then again, she knows I keep watching.

6)I have recently come up with an acronym. FUN. It stands for Fuck You Nigger. During the constant coontact at the office and elsewhere, I smile politely and say FUN, FUN, FUN.

7)The few experiences outlined above are why, in the Spirit of Equality, I am a firm believer in a) AIDS drugs for africa, b) legalization of all drugs and c)mandatory black studies/ebonics training for all blacks only.

a)AIDS drugs for africa because they would be misused, the virus would become resistant, some africoons would think they are immune , their AIDS propagating ways would only increase with a hardier, more virulent virus and they would kill themselves even faster.

b)Legalization of all drugs for basically the same reasons. Some drugs decrease the immune system more than others. Drugs kill off brain cells and if niggers voluntarily want to make themselves even more worthless ,the only socially conscious thing to do is assist them. Besides, if drugs were legal, a goodly percentage of niggers would overdose and die inside of a month. I'd even be willing to have the gov't subsidize it. My tax money would then be well spent.

c)Mandatory black studies/ebonics for all blacks. This is for blacks only. The made-up fantasies passed off as black history are only taken seriously by blacks in the US. Ebonics is only used by niggers and wiggers in the US. The rest of the world knows it is trash. If niggers and wiggers want to voluntarily make themselves even more worthless than they already are, go for it. It is less competition , both locally and globally, for me and mine.

I find it highly amusing that the support of the above three liberal causes can not only have niggers keeping themselves down on the totem pole, but can actually clean the planet as they, themselves, nowingly, voluntarily, decrease their numbers.

So I look at them, I smile politely and I say FUN, FUN, FUN. Thank you for listening. I enjoy the stories on your site.

Some great stories of coontact there and I thank you for your submission.

I highlighted the "FUN" because that I can use everyday and now when I see a nigger I can simply smile and say "FUN, FUN, FUN". God knows that in Kansas City I have plenty of chances at having to say FUN.

I don't have any daughters but I do have two sons and I instruct them on TNB everyday. I do not teach racism or hatred for hatreds sake but of niggers and their TNB animal ways. It is important you instruct your daughter as to the dangers of "hanging" with niggers.

Coontact Tale #126

Not exactly a Coontact Tale but I've decided to develop a new show for one lucky network, and it's title is "Who Wants to Be a Nigger Millionaire?". Not too many niggers seem to be dazzling Regis Philbin with their vast knowledge, so obviously they need a show that caters to their talents and abilities. Just look over the following questions to see if you have what it takes to be a nigger millionaire.

#1) What is a "ho"?

a) a gardening tool b) the entire amount c) a Christmas greeting d) a woman of dubious character

#2) What is a "40"?

a) the average black IQ b) a period of incarceration c) hours worked in a month d) a bottle of malt liquour

#3) Who would be considered a punkass bitch?

a) the thief b) the drug dealer c) the pimp d) the accountant

#4) Which condition stifles black economic progress?

a) crime and incarceration b) out-of-wedlock birth/single mothers c) low academic achievement d) racism

#5) Why does Whitey hate the Bruthahs?

a) Affirmative Action and government quotas b) Whining, protests, lawsuits, reparation demands c) disproportionate black crime rate d) muh dick

#6) Why do blacks score poorly on standardized tests?

a) low IQ's b) poor preparation c) lack of discipline d) cultural bias

#7) Which would be considered "acting White"?

a) busting a move b) getting a swerve on c) saying "I got your back" d) saying "please" and "thank you"

#8) What method best prevents the spread of AIDS?

a) abstinence b) condoms c) a monogamous relationship d) just make sure the bitch looks clean

#9) What black civil rights activist wants to attract gay white males with his hairstyle?

a) Julian Bond b) Jesse Jackson c) Huey Newton d) Al Sharpton

If you've answered "d" to all of the questions above, then CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have what it takes to be a nigger millionaire!

However, I need a tenth question to have a complete round for the first contestant. Does anyone have any ideas for a tenth question? Step up to the plate, Ladies and Gentlemen!! Who wants to be a Nigger Millionaire???!!!

Coontact Tale #127

I found this letter on the net which describes perfectly TNB (Typical Nigger Behavior) found when human resources hire outside the human species. I deleted the name of the office supply store along with names of the individuals but the flavor of coontact is still there.

Dear OfficeStore Human Resources,

I am writing to you regarding an incident that happened this morning (Monday, April 28) at your Redwood City, CA branch. Your most recent newspaper ad lists a CenDyne Lightning IV CD burner for $9.99 after rebates, which I went in to buy. I asked the nearest person, which happened to be the store manager (his name is Keith xxxxx, I believe, but I may be wrong), to get one for me. As you may know, CenDyne is not a real manufacturer but rather a marketing company that puts its name on other companies' drives.

The inventory in any given store is completely random (all have the same box) but the make of the drive can be determined simply by looking at the model number on the back; there seems to be at least four different sources for this particular "Lightning IV" drive.

I sought one whose model number began with "LTR" (indicating Lite-On); Mr. xxxxx returned with "SW-240," which is made by Samsung, which was by far my last preference. I asked if he could check if there were any others, to which he bluntly replied "it's too labor-intensive to check." I asked him how much "labor" it would actually demand of him, considering that this branch currently has only ten drives in stock (the Mountain View branch had told me this ten minutes earlier). His only reply was "how would YOU know that?" and after my answer, he followed up with "that doesn't necessarily mean anything." All of a sudden, he then changed his mind to say "ok, I'll do it for you THIS time, but don't expect anything NEXT time," which is a little embarrassing when said in front of two clerks and a line of customers. He then came back later, empty-handed, stating that there were no "LTR"s and that all ten of his remaining drives were the "SW" Samsung model I distinctly did not want. I suspected dishonesty at the thought of all ten randomized drives being of the same make (out of a possible four), but feeling undecided and passive, I bought the drive. Two minutes later, I walked back in to ask the nice female clerk if anyone else could check. Mr. xxxxx then followed me to interrupt my question with "EXCUSE ME, is there a problem? I already told you we don't have any" or something to that effect. He then aggressively asked "Why don't you believe me? Is it a RACIAL thing or something?" I ignored the latter question, to reply as objectively as possible with the only thought on my mind: "I'm not sure I believe you." He then looked away while mumbling "that's pretty typical of these people [most likely meaning Asians; Mr. xxxx is black]" and shortly thereafter, spoke into his walkie-talkie "George, could you come to customer service?

"There seems to be a RACIALLY MOTIVATED [his emphasis, not mine] incident happening here." George then came, and I proceeded to ask him if there were any other drives in stock besides SW models. While I was waiting, Mr. xxxx couldn't resist to again provoke me with "WHY YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH BLACK PEOPLE, MAN?" (a verbatim quote) to which I politely ignored. George returned a minute later, and - surprise, surprise - brought me back a drive with a different model number. All I did after that point was thank George and the helpful sales clerk, who gave me the number at which to direct any complaints.

I think this incident speaks for itself, and is in little need of commentary on my part. All I will say is that OfficeStore has not necessarily lost me as a customer yet (the Redwood City branch has), though it has come close. I will simply point out that having this level of hiring standards for your store managers - with regards to apathy, racism, and courtesy - probably isn't doing any favors to your bottom line.

Coontact Tale #128

Iam a high school teacher and this outburst happend in my class a few weeks ago.

The students were having a discussion about the clothing line F.U.B.U (for us by us) the black guy was sayin "yea it be fo' us by us, that means white people caint wear it", and all of a sudden a "southern boy" (who always wears dixie outfitters) all of a sudden says, "fubu stands for "farmers. use to. beat. us." so the black boy starts hollering and shouting things like, "who said that!, who the fuck said that?" and another black boy in the class pointed to richard (the southern boy), and the boy walks over to Richard and said some kind of "niggerbabble" about cracker, the southern boy beat the hell out of the nigger student, the nigger was out of school for a week due to broken bones, this is no lie, the fight went on for a while. All that happened to Richard was he had a fat lip and was suspended. Of course I had to write him up but I didnt want to.

Coontact Tale #129

Don't know if this qualifies as an outburst but it's definately an example of TNB...

I used to know this guy at a firm I worked for, a crotchety old nigger, about 65 years old. He complained about every little thing that was asked of him, and would start on this fake crying routine whenever he judged something to be burdensome, like he was being put upon because he was black, even though he did about half the work any of the other employees did. A typical whine would be: "Oh lawd-a-mercy we black fokes jis' gots to do mo' than our fair share I suppose". He whined non-stop about Martin Luther King, the civil rights movement, and about how racist America was. He would tell these (white) european interns who worked at our firm about how badly blacks in America are treated, and they ate up this shit up hook, line, and sinker.

Anyway getting to the real story, one day he misses work. No big deal. Maybe he died or retired, I thought (he was highly diabetic yet scarfed sugary food all day, wow, what a genius. And he wondered why he was sick all the time). Wishful thinking! The next day he waltzes in with a big stack of folders bound in a rubber band. They were marked "Legal Files" on the front, so that everyone could see what they were. My (white) supervisor asked him sympathetically "What happened?"

"I'z tell ya wha' happened!!" he said "These white-boy cops pulled me over an' gave me a hard time. They wuz racist. Now I'm-a sue the whole goddamn police department and gets me 15 million dollars. I'm-a put all twelve of mah grankee-ids thru college wit' dat money, sheee-it!"

Of course, I don't need to tell you that if any WHITE employee had come in and started swearing and using racial language we'd be fired on the spot. But what happened to him? Nothing! Well, that's not true, actually my boss consoled him and offered him time off so that he could pursue his case against the police department.

And I don't need to tell you that NO ONE gets 15 million just because some cop gave him a "hard time". Oh, did I mention, this guy also considered himself a lawyer because he had two years of law school (supposedly). He also supposedly was a Navy Seal, a recepiant of awards from Ronald Reagan, spoke ten languages (I only heard one -- Ebonics!), was worth 7 million dollars (and drove a '85 Civic with a front grill held on with bungee cords), and was an inventor with an IQ over 150 (why does every black person claim they're a genius when the average black IQ is 85?). Of course, the only thing he REALLY was was a pathological liar who would have been shit-canned long ago if not for the virtue of his skin color, "ya undahstand?"

Coontact Tale #130

I've held numerous jobs over the past decade, many in customer service. One thing that started happening around 1999 or 2000 was people calling in on cell phones. This is not really a bright idea, as most cell phones have very poor sound quality and are constantly dropping calls. Well we all know how much blacks like dem cell phonez, and after a while I would get about ten calls per day from "Shaqwita" or "Tineesha". Between their ebonics and their god-awful cell phone transmission quality I could barely make out what they were saying half the time, and may god help you if you "aks" them to repeat themselves, lest you hear the dreaded bellow: "MUTHAFUCKAH....AH DAMN TOLD YOU AWLREDDY. DAMN STUPID ASS PRICK! AIN'T CHOO LISSNIN' TO WHAT AHM SAYIN'!!!!"

Nevermind that you're "aksin" them to repeat what they said so that you could have a chance in hell of solving a problem of theirs that they probably created anyway. Even the ones that could speak passable English were no joy to speak with, you would get: "Hey sugah I'm a-getting a call on mah othah phone, kin I puts you on hold fo' a few minutes...oh sheee-it! Now mah beeper's goin' off too! Muthafucka, now my ten kee-ids is runnin' wild. Ahm-a hafta call you back in a few minutes and we's gonna hafta start over fum da beginnin'."

I'm not making this up. It's not funny enough to be made up.

Coontact Tale #131

We've been having class visits for the past three days in the library where I work. Of course, they're 90% black and the teacher is a bleeding heart liberal who lets them do whatever they want. Apparently they are allowed to act like animals in school, but that sort of behavior is not appropriate in a major public library. A few kids were doing their assignment, but most of them were just hanging around, talking very loudly, even yelling, laughing, eating & drinking, doing each other's nasty hair, some were making out, talking on cell phones, etc-- as if they were at a party! I would go over to them and ask them to quiet down, and get sworn at. I'd tell them they couldn't have food, and they'd ignore me and keep eating. The teacher did nothing to keep them in line or supervise them in any way. We even had to move some of the materials out of their reach because they were trying to help themselves (stealing, actually), but the final straw came when one kid kept using a machine which he was not allowed to use (it was clearly marked-- use the other machine first), and when I asked him why he was on that machine, he said, "Oh, I didn't know." Well, we had been telling them all afternoon about those machines, and this has been going on for 3 solid days! So I said, "There's a sign right on the machine-- didn't you read it?" Next thing I know, they go to the teacher and complain that I said he couldn't read, and he comes up and gives me this big bleeding heart lecture about how he's trying to "help" these poor disadvantaged youth (yeah right, teaching them the wrong habits is more like it) and that my behavior is unprofessional. He demanded my name and went upstairs to management, who routinely discipline employees on the basis of any and all complaints, no matter how ridiculous. I've already been suspended for something I didn't do, but they don't care about what really happened. So now I'm out of a job for trying to keep order in my department, which IS my job. All because of a bunch of antisocial nigger trash teenagers and their bleeding heart teacher who thinks he's doing them a favor by not teaching them any manners or respect.

Coontact Tale #132

Had to run to Nigger (Wal)-Mart yesterday afternoon, to pick up some lawn stuff that they had on sale (about the only reason I'd go there)

Right in front of the doors, in the Handicapped space, was this 84 Olds Delta 88 Brougham full of niggerz that had just pulled in.

They all piled out, none of them handicapped, so as soon as they got inside, it was back to the truck for my 18" Channel-Loks, and a quick valve-stem job on all four tires.

Then a call to 911 that there was a disabled car in front of Wal-Mart, blocking the Fire Lane.

Then took a seat on one of the benches that W-M so thoughtfully provided to watch the fun and games.

First cop to arrive was a friend of my son's, he pulled in, saw the 4 valve stems lined up across the top of the car, saw me sitting there, and just shook his head, started laughing, and called for back-up, cause he knew it was going to get real interesting real fast.

Sure enough, out came the herd of chimps, and they were all climbing into the 'Detta 88 Royaaa' when the head nigga-sow noticed it was sitting lower than usual. That's when the hooting and hollering REALLY started!

The cop came over and asked for their Handicapped placard, and when none was produced, wrote a $ 100 ticket for that, then told them they had 15 minutes to get it out of there...........when 'Leroy' started arguing with him, he got shoved in the back of the squad car, and right about then, a State Police squad, two County cars, and three more city cars arrived, one of the city and the State cars were K-9 shoulda seen the burr-heads scatter when the officers tripped the releases on the dog-doors.

The final scene: the Detta 88 getting winced on a flat-bed, on its way to the impound yard (plates registered to a different car and no proof of insurance).

A very productive trip, to say the least.


Coontact Tale #133

I am a pharmacist and am unfortunate enough to work at a drugstore in a very "diverse" neighborhood. Roughly 70% of my customers are niggers, so as you can imagine, I have to put up with a ton of shit at work every day. Here is an example of a typical encounter with a nigger pharmacy customer:

Fat Blue-Gummed Negress: (banging on counter) EX-COOZE ME!!! AH GOTS A SUBSCRIPTION!!!

Me: Good morning, ma'am. Have you had a PRESCRIPTION filled here before?

Negress: Ah hads one fill-ded at yawls sto cross town.

Me: But have you had one filled at THIS store?

Negress: Mah baby gots one up in here be-foe.

Me: (blood beginning to boil) Ma'am, have YOU had a prescription filled HERE at THIS STORE before?

(I need to know this, by the way, to see if she needs to fill out a patient profile sheet--name, address, drug allergies, medical conditions, etc.)

Negress: (rolling her eyes) YEAH!!!

Me: Ok, ma'am, your prescription will be ready in about 15 minutes.

Negress: WHY IT GONE BE SO LONG!?!?!

Me: Well, a couple of people came in before you, but we'll try to get it ready as soon as possible.

Negress: What-evuh! (walks away from counter)

(For the record, 15 minutes is not a very long wait time. I know of several pharmacies that have wait times of over two hours.)

Negress: (now on her cellular phone) Wassup?...Ah beez at da drug sto...Yo, check dis out, dey tole me it gone be fifteen minutes!...DEY NEEDS TO HURRY UP CAWZE AH GOTS SOMEWHERE AH GOTS TA BE AT! (making sure we hear her, of course)

5 minutes after dropping off her prescription:

Me: (after failing to find her name in our computer) Ma'am, could you come here for a minute, please? I couldn't find you in our computer, so I need you to fill one of these forms out for us.


Me: We can't fill your prescription without this information.

Negress: I tole you ah done had perstripions fill-ded at da sto on Main Skreet. Ahhz in da crumpooter!

Me: Ma'am, our computers aren't linked together. That's why I asked you a few minutes ago if you...

Negress: JUS GIMME DA FORM! (yanks it out of my hand)

Me: Also, do you have any kind of insurance that covers your prescriptions?

Negress: Naw.

Me: Ok, thanks for filling that out for us. It will be just a few more minutes. (biting my tongue to keep from saying "stupid fucking nigger bitch" as I walk back to the computer terminal)

(Meanwhile a minimum of 3 of her niglets are running around making noise, annoying other customers, beating on our blood pressure testing machine like it's a bongo drum, and generally wreaking havoc.)

10 minutes after dropping off her prescription:

Negress: (banging on the counter, yet again!) HEY, MISTAH PHAR...FAMA...FARA...DRUGGIST, MAH TRIP-SHUN BE READY YET???

Me: No, ma'am, it will...


Me: About 5 more minutes...we're getting it ready as quickly as we can.

(Note: I clearly told the bitch it would take 15 minutes when she dropped it off.)

5 minutes later:

Cashier: Ok, ma'am, that will be $14.49.


Cashier: Do you have an insurance card of some kind?


Me: (blood pressure now near stroke level) Is something wrong, ma'am?


Again, I bite my tongue to keep from asking her why she didn't present her Medicaid card when I asked for it earlier. I then process the nigger's prescription using her Medicaid card. After the cashier gets the $0.50 from her, she snatches the prescription from her hand and storms out, with her wild niglets in tow. Still on her cell phone, we hear her babbling "Dat white man be tryin' make me pay fah mah recription! Ah don't thank so!!" as she exits the store.

As any pharmacist who works in a similar situation will tell you, this is the kind of shit we have to put up with from niggers every day. Most of us went to college for at least 5 years to become pharmacists and as a reward, we get to take abuse from welfare niggers who have never worked a day in their lives. Fortunately, I'm taking steps to get myself out of this situation while I still have my sanity.

Coontact Tale #134

One night during last summer my wife woke me up to say there was someone breaking into our VW bus on our driveway. She said she went into the garage and flipped the the switch to the overhead driveway lights off and on several time to scare the guy off. I asked her if he was gone as I jumped out of bed and ran towards the front door. She said that the guy yelled "Hey,knock that shit off!!" When I reached the front door,my all white,120 lb. white Wolf/Husky hybrid dog was ready and waiting. It was obviuous he smelled Baboon in the air. I opened the front door and through the security screen I could see a Monkey trying to steal the battery from our bus.

I opened the security screen and yelled "GET'EM!!". My dog went after his black ass like a bat out of hell. That Nigger jumped over our chain link fence without touching it,but he wasn't fast enough. My dog caught him in mid air by his ankle,tearing off part of his sock and a uglyass yellow Air Jordan sneaker. As the Nigger was running down the street I yelled at him,"What's the matter,BOY!!?? You don't want to argue with my dog!!???? "Come on back,he loves dark meat!!" The Baboon continued running,losing the tattered sock after 100 feet or so. It was funny as hell watching him run the hundred yard dash in under 10 seconds with one bare foot and one ugly yellow Air Jordan sneaker on the other. I brought my dog in the house and cooked him a t-bone steak before returning to bed.

The next morning I tied some fishing line and a one ounce sinker to the badly mangled sneaker and tossed it over the phone lines out front as a trophy for all the neighbors to see. It hung there for months untill the phone company came out one day to work on the lines and removed it.

Coontact Tale #135

I have negroes in my attic!

I live in a "luxury" apartment community. Yesterday, a family of negroes moved in upstairs. Husband, wife, boy and girl (both around 8).

Anyway, I applaud, the guy for staying with the kids and wife, since his type is most likely to leave long before the kids reach that age. However, his and the wofe's parenting skills are obviously lacking.

They allow the kids to run up and down the hallways all day and night, slam doors, etc. It sounds like the circus is performing above me.

This morning I will go to the apartment office and give my notice. I will not live under this mess. I'm sure they'll make the connection that I'm moving out right after the blacks move in...and that's fine with me. They should think twice before renting an apartment above a white professional to a black family of four.

They could drop a property value by 70%. It applies to apartments too I guess.

A reader responds "I have negroes in my attic!"'s plight.

I agree. Here's what I don't get:

Let's say that I run my apartment complex, and it's mostly occupied by white people who drive nice cars, keep quiet, are clean, etc.

Then, one day, a white Nissan Maxima with 18" chrome rims and tinted windows pulls up at the office, and out pours a black family of four. The husband and wife introdue themselves as Tanika and Jamel, and the rug rats proceed to swing from the office furniture like monkeys as the parents ignore them and look at the floorplans.

Now, do I risk losing white tennants and rent to these people, or do I find some reason to deny them and keep things neat, quiet and clean?

Doesn't seem like a tough decision to me.

Coontact Tale #136

My mother worked at Capwells in El Cerrito Plaza during the 60's. During that time the pimps would send their 'hos to shoplift, and if caught by security, the ladies would whip out razers from their 'dos and slash away. When she was in her late eighties, large able bodied blacks would accost innocent shoppers in El Cerrito supermarket parking lots for 'spare change' -- my frail Scotch-Irish/ Quaker mother wouldn't be intimidated and shouted at them, "I have no money for you!", backing them off. Lucky she only shopped during daylight or I'm sure she would have been killed by one of our fine brave brothas. A favorite trick in San Francisco was to appear at an ATM just after you had your card inserted and before the money was out, and to try to intimidate money out of you. Each time I refused to pay I was loudly accused of racism by my black would be extortionists. When I lived in Korea I found the Koreans feared and despised blacks -- at first I thought it was just an American prejudice rubbing off, but no, it was their natural reaction to the crime and violence attendant upon the presence of black GIs in their midst. In England the West Indians are the muggers -- note that they weren't brought to England in chains, but broke down the doors to get in, yet play the same violent role as blacks do in the US. Now that South Africa has been cured of the sin of apartheid, street muggings, carjackings and generalized thuggery have now achieved the levels previously only attained by the rest of sub-Saharan Africa. People are routinely asked to check their weapons at the receptionist when they enter office buildings in Capetown and J'burg.. None of this may be spoken of, since it doesn't Celebrate Diversity and might make members of our Protected Classes feel badly. Anyone detect a pattern here? Can you say negritude?

Thank you for your wonderful contribution! When the beasts of prey would try the ATM extortion racket they were simply doing to you, although on a personal level, what the federal government has been doing to taxpayers, on behalf of this failed race, for decades. I have also been to Korea and know you speak the truth; Koreans hate and despise negroes for what they are and not the color of their skin.

Coontact Tale #137

We hired this guy right out of college. Decent grades, sharp dresser, very articulate. Although the fact he was black wasn't the SOLE reason we hired him, it certainly didn't hurt our diversity plan to have him on the payroll...

For six months, he was a great employee. Always showed up for work on time, did his job, got along well with fellow employees. (There were some whispers about him dating a very attractive white girl in the office, but not to the point of distraction)...

Less than a month ago, we gave him a promotion, a nice raise, and a decent office (he had previously been in a cube). Then one morning we noticed that the microwave was missing from the breakroom. It was old and cheap (probably cost less than $75.00 new) but it bugged me that someone would steal it. I suspected the cleaning crew (though we had never had this problem before). So I asked the security guard to look at the security camera tapes. What I saw floored me -- our newly-promoted black employee, having come back to the office in the middle of the night, was tucking it under his arm and sneaking out...

I called him into my office. First he denied stealing it. Then, when I showed him the security camera tapes, he claimed he was only "borrowing" it. When I asked him where the microwave was, he said he had sold it in order to pay a "debt" to someone who was threatening to do him bodily harm if he didn't pay...

Needless to say, I was dumbfounded. I could not believe that anyone would throw away a great job and career for a fucking $75.00 microwave!!! I had no choice but to fire our employee. Now he says he's going to sue us because our decision to fire him was "racially motivated" or something. Christ, what a nightmare!

Coontact Tale #138

This Tale of Coontact was a real honor to receive. Gabriel sends this Coontact Tale from South Arica where it is cowboys and niggers!

Hi, I am just the average white nigger hater from South Africa the once glorious land which got fucked over by niggers or as I call them kaffirs. My tale starts like this:

I was driving up my driveway after running some errands when I saw that the gate was malfunctioning again as usual. So I got out of my car after I turned off the engine as I do not like to leave my engine running if I am not inside of it. As I walked towards the gate I heard a suspicious noise behind me that sounded like someone running towards me. Needless to say I swung around while drawing my glock and then I saw this dark shape comming towards me. Blinded by my cars headlights I couldn't see the attacker very well but let of a shot nonetheless which proved to be a very wise choice indeed. I do not know how long after my shot it happened but the attacker got in a shot thru my lower left leg and the strange part is that I didn't even feel a thing untill I looked down and saw this mass of MY blood streaming out of these two holes in my leg. The nigger on the other hand was lying on the ground crawling from the stomach wound I gave the vile thing. I approached, kicked his gun away and started shouting things like: You fucking kaffir, stay the fuck down or I will fucking kill you, you motherfucker etc.... He, unfortunately, survived and pressed manslaughter against me which was a real waste of time.

My apologies for the underhanded cowardly way my country so shabbily treated the wonderful and wonderful brave people of Suid Afrika. When I say people I am, of course, speaking of white people because niggers are not human beings. We hope AIDS, or some other disease, will kill all the kaffirs enabling Suid Afrika can rejoin the world as a civilized land.

Coontact Tale #139

From South Africa a Gabriel writes:

I was actually shot at twice already by niggers and the first time was the one I mentioned in my first tale of coontact and that was mere days after I got that glock for my birthday on 5 October 2001 and that incident happened on 12 October. The second time was very recently:

I nearly got killed on 4 April this year when someone shot at my car from the side of the road in a deserted area. This appears to be something new that the kaffirs are doing to rob people, they wait in a quiet area to shoot at moving vehicles to kill or disable the driver to cause an accident. The bastards then rob the victim of everthing that they can remove in a short time before disapearing into the bushes.

I was driving to go and fetch something when my rear windows just exploded in a shower of glass in a loud bang. This was just to close a call for my taste. To replace the rear windows on the Civic costed me approx $400 but at least the car's body doesn't have any damage or bullet holes. As usual the cops didn't find shit in the area as they are about as usefull as shit on toast and yet this isn't the only shit to hit the fan that week concerning niggers.

Here is also something that happened less than a week prior.

On that Previous Saturday my nephew and his son was attacked while driving their offroad motorcycles in a area that they thought was safe. They were attacked by some black vagrants who then seized his young son of 11 and held a panga (very long knife) to his neck. Because he was a "smart" guy who never listened to me to carry a firearm he got into a lot of trouble. Needless to say they were robbed blind(almost stripped naked) by a group of kaffirs who would be sleeping in the morgue if I was there with my GLOCK or if he brought his gun with him which is always locked away in his safe.

I am starting to think that my Glock isn't enougth anymore and that perhaps I need a Desert Eagle .50 to do the job properly. This may not appear to be a WAR ZONE but it is: Me vs nigger criminals. I always keep an awareness of all my surroundings if I enter the city and read pedestrian traffic patterns for signs of trouble.

The person in my circle of friends who holds the record for shooting the most niggers in a single night is someone who lives close to us and shot four out of five nigger intruders who was robbing his home.

Like me he does regular drills on a shooting range and came out on top but like it was the case with me they tried to lay manslaughter charges against him as well as he didn't shoot them fatally. This happened last year on the 5th of september.

You also think that you have a problem with niggerbable but try and understand it in 11 different languages and even a cray powered translator will burn out or at least blue screen.

On the subject of AIDS, over here we have at least 2 out of 5 niggers infected and with all their superstitions it is surprising that it isn't higher. Superstitions like raping virgins will get you cured or using muti from a sangoma and even neclacing the witch who did this to you. These kaffirs just crack me up when they kill each other in their own special ways. SARS if it gets here will decimate the nigger population as we will not be able to treat them in any way and with so many of them having TB and AIDS it will not be long for the body count to rise into the millions. If this doesn't happen I will create a race specific pathogen to kill of most of their population within the next 15 years as tecnology progress even more. Make no mistake, I am just like Hitler and I do not even regard niggers asanimals as even animals arent as cruel and savage as these things are.

Webmassa's Question: Are you telling me you don't like niggers?

With a nigger president here who gives aid to Zimbabwe they won't starve to death and will get fed on our tax money. We will not see niggers eating cow shit directly from the cow over there like I saw in the nigger picture section.

Coontact Tale #140

My grandfather owns a considerable amount of real estate property, one of them being the house he was raised in during the 40's. He hangs onto it for sentimental reasons, and, why shouldn't he if he can afford to do it? No other excuse for the retention of this property would be acceptable, in my opinion. This being due to the simple fact that it is now located in what we endearingly refer to as the modern black ghetto with all of the associated black "cul-chah". It's a great place to live...if you have an uncontrollable affinity for the whizzing of bullets, the graceful endolence of urine, blue lights, the booming staccato beats of 'gangsta' rap "music", incessant violence, and niggers. In short; you'd have to be an utter and insipid moron.

Now, his attention is usually placed on other matters, and as a result of that, he's not able to visit it and watch out for its integrity for weeks at a time. And as it's being renovated, nobody else is, either. Without me having to tell you, I'm sure you can imagine what people do to an unoccupied house in such a location. Every time a step forward is made, you're usually pushed back two or even three.

I'm invited to go along occasionally, and am put to use fixing the panoply of broken windows, doping up holes in the plaster, replacing the bathtub (which was subsequently STOLEN. Don't ask me...) and what-have-you. So when he called me on a Saturday requesting that I meet him there, I was prepared for the worst, but in a totally wrong way.

Blue lights galore. Like everything in K-Mart was on sale. This time, instead of screwing up the house and leaving, they'd decided that they would partake of our generosity and claim it as their defacto residence. Not just one. Or two. But a total of 14 people. I'll let you sit there for a moment and decide what race of people these individuals were. And I hope you're leaning towards the darker end of the scale, because if not then it's back to school with you.

The house being cleared and the "suspects" taken off accordingly, we had a much-anticipated look around the innards of the "crime scene." The following sight was one of the nastiest and filth ridden conglomerations of debauchery, gluttony, and disgust that I have ever been a first party witness to; Used condoms, disassembled porno magazines, the acrid smell of cheap liquor accompanied by various bottles adorned with labels like "St. Ides" and "Cobra," burned spoons with their needle counterparts, and, the worst of the spectacle, human excrement. Everywhere. On the floor, in one of the tubs, on the staircase, hallway, and (how novel and creative can these creatures get) one window sill. See, the water to the house was temporarily shut off, and as the toilet didn't flush, they decided to disperse the result of full bowels wherever they happened to be stationed at the time (after they'd filled the bowl up to overflowing proportions).

What I gathered from this was that instead of expelling their feces in the yard or the woods, they were lazy and foul enough to sleep next to it, much akin to livestock. Absolutely filthy. The only other possible reason I can conjure up is that they were trying to "stick it to du man" or some other such ghetto pride idiom. Snoop Dogg would be quite proud.

I wasn't so much angered as I was totally and irrevocable astonished. It was like someone had locked down the San Quentin prison and given the inmates full access to drugs, alcohol, porn, a few prostitutues, and (ironically the most dangerous of the bunch) a Thanksgiving sized feast.

The worst part of the story is that my grandfather was given no solace or protection (or concern) from the legal system. It was just, "Sorry, friend, the mess is yours to keep and clean up. Tyrone and compatriots may serve a few months for breaking and entering and destruction of private property, but after that they are out on parole." Yeah, sippin' on gin and juice. Laid back. With their mind on MY money, and YOUR tax dollars.

I simply can't understand, with today's societal structure in their favor, and the benefits and privileges given exclusively to these people, why they continue to act in such an animalistic manner. And similarly, why my family and I should bear the ramifications of what they do instead of them. How many hands up, head starts, school grants, welfare checks, and free housing situations do they NEED? I'd be more than happy to fund a campaign that collects boxes of fucking pampers for free distribution. At least then I wouldn't have to clean their shit up. But then again, niggers are niggers. They can't control themselves, let alone run a city, or a country. Every place inhabited and run by blacks somehow becomes Africa in miniature.

Coontact Tale #141

Love the site, great work, I suspect future generations of historians will cherish Coontact much like current historians value Pepy's diaries or Boswell's life of Johnson. On to the story.

I was crossing Central Park South and heading south on a beautiful spring day when I spotted a "family" of five deep ghetto niggers, two adults and three pics waiting for the light, As I approached the curb the brood sow started beating one of her offspring HARD about the head while the rest of the pack looked on. The parents showed obvious signs of drug addiction, probably crack; they were wiry and dressed in faded ghetto clothes that look normal in the hood but stick out everywhere else. I grew up in Manhattan and nothing from these filthy animals shocks me anymore, but another white, a misguided woman walking her dog took exception to this abuse. Sadly she must have mistaken these twisted creatures for actual humans.

She called out in a demanding tone "Lady would you like to call the police about you abusing your child?" The female nigger went ballistic, spewed every type of obscenity at the white woman and was barely restrained by the male nigger from attacking the white woman. I locked eyes with the male nigger and by body language and a cold stare made it clear to him, that if his baby's momma got with striking distance of the white woman I would step in and break the two of them in half. I'm six feet, 220 lbs, he was about 5' 6" 140lbs, so it was no contest and by the look in his eyes he just wanted to return to his crack pipe and section eight housing.

So he kept a firm grip on this demented creature that resembled a raging baboon, We've all seen niggers with a protruding mouth full of teeth that tax to the limit the ability of their bountiful lips, well she was one of those. Saliva flew, her eyes bulged and she screeched at the white woman who had the nerve to question her child rearing decision. The male decided to play peacemaker; he called out to the white woman "Now listen. we don tell you what to do wit yo dawg, yo don tell us nothin bout our kids".

If that doesn't illustrate the difference between the white (high investment) and black (low investment) parenting attitudes, I don't know what does.

Meanwhile the white woman seeing the futility of trying to help niggers walked away in disgust,calling out "Go back to Harlem!" I caught up with her and said to her "Don't waste your time, they're animals". She nodded silently in assent, looking thoughtful.

I didn't try to cut off the flow of nigger babble directed at the white woman because I wanted her to realize a important lesson about the nature of these beasts. I think she got the message that day. God willing every white person will soon.

At least the sheboon was beating the niglet around the head where you can't hurt them. And the kind what woman, she thought the gorillacoons were human?

Coontact Tale #142

Several months ago I was in Toys R Us with my mother.

She was looking at dolls which happen to be near the bike department, in the bike department I see three niglets riding around on bikes they can't afford. The coons range in age from 8 to 12 ( the oldest one has a huge fro with the pick and everything) and riding all over the store, unattended as usual. My mother starts to walk out of an isle and almost gets run over by the big nigger, who doesn't say a word he just keeps riding. I was pissed so I waited till the nigger made another pass and as he went by I kicked the back wheel of the bike with as much force as I could. That nigger went flying and the bike wiped out a display. That 12 year old jungle bunny gets up and gets in my face and starts motioning towards me with his shoulders just like real gorillas do. I smiled and said don't fuck with me nigger I'm not one of those white people who's afraid of niggers, and he just stands there with that typical look of stupidity on his face. The younger kids tell him to go and drag him off. On my way out of the store I stop at the service desk and tell the manager (very loudly) that there are three little nigger tarbabies making a mess in the bike department. He says there is no reason to talk like that to which I respond "if those filthy niggers would keep their animals in a cage that kind of shit wouldn't happen".

Some old spear chucker in line gives me a dirty look so I said "what the fuck is your problem" and he goes back to looking at the floor. On my way out of the store I continue to shout racial slurs until I reach the parking lot where I see those little fucking niggers pile into a van where their mother is waiting.That fat jigaboo porch monkey sat in her car while she let her little fucking nigtards run all over the store. I was carrying a .45 at the time had that little nigger taken a swing at me I would have put a bullet between his fucking eyes!! WHITE POWER!!!

Sometimes you have to wonder why stores allow niggers in in the first place.

Coontact Tale #143

Story from a friend of a friend of a cop, but hillarious nevertheless:

Police receive a domestic disturbance call from some shit-hole, ghetto part of San Jose (probably East Palo Alto). Anyhow, the cops arrive at the location to find this mountain of a black woman beating the living shit out of her skinny, little, black husband. She continues to beat the old coot in the kitchen of their shit-house shack even as the police enter the residence. As one of the police officers is courageous enough (or stupid, depending on how you look at it)to try and put himself in between the the woman and her husband to stop the beating, the bitch grabs a knife and stabs the cop in the upper pectoral area. What the stupid bitch didn't know was that police officers wear body armour for just this type of scenario, so when she saw the knife protruding from the officer's chest, and the cop just standing there ostensibly unharmed, she was shell-shocked.

As my friend tells the story, the womans eyes literally bulge out of her head as she stares first at the knife in the cop's body armour and then up at the officer's face, at which time she exclaims in all seriousness, "YOU MUST BE SUPERMAN!!??!!"

Coontact Tale #144

Contact.... Hum you got about six hours.

My first coontact was in the first grade. There was a black girl and one very large black boy. Forest Walker said things that none of the other kids said. One day, I remember particularly well, we kids were sitting around a table and in the middle of the table was a box of crayons. Forest walks up to the table, pulls out a crayon and states as he looks across the table at the little black girl sitting across from us "I pulled down her panties and her pussy blacker than that crayon" well Forest is no longer in our first grade class, he took the trip to the red door. The red door was a red door to a special education room and there he stayed until we hit the fourth grade.

Forest wore cloths no one else wore or even had seen. Ok this is now 1972, 1973. Forest came to the fourth grade wearing a white silk shirt a black pair of polyester pants, a pair of platform shoes (black in color) and a green wide brimmed hat. he was a laughing stock. I noticed that Forest was very tall for a fourth grader, all the blacks were, well all four of them. Well, Forest disappeared again, and later that year we had a presentation from the local sheriffs department and there was Forest. I guess they released him from the red door of special education. So the cops are talking about the cars the dogs and stuff, you know normal cop stuff, when a sheriff's helicopter starts hovering over head, well I thought this is pretty cool. Then over the loud speaker of the helicopter the pilot or the observer says "FOREST ARE YOU BEHAVING YOURSELF," to a fourth grader this is hilarious. So after that Forest is gone until late in the sixth grade. I was walking home from school looking forward to summer and junior high when what did I see in the parking lot of the winchells donut and the stop and go across from my school was Forest and he had a car, he was wearing his pimp cloths and he had a car. I told my friends and they didn't believe me. About fifteen years later I was thinking about Forest goof ball Walker and I finally put the pieces together (it took my whole life to figure it out because I really never gave a shit about Forest and his failed life) in the first grade Forest had sexual knowledge, in the fourth grade Forest wore cloths made for older and more discriminating pimps, and in the sixth grade he had a 1971 ford pinto wagon complete with moon windows. My God it hit me, Forest was about six of seven years older than your average white kid as was all four of the blacks that went to my school. Thinking back on it all, why was he in that parking lot when school had just let out. Then it dawned on me, that pile of shit was cruising for fifth and sixth grade girls. So the day I came to this conclusion I called an old friend from grade school and told her what I thought on the matter. She said "remember we had late start and early starters" I said yes we called them late birds and early birds. Meaning early birds started at 8:00 am and late birds started at 9:00am. She said that Forest was usually there to hit on the early birds when they got out of school in the after noon.

This is one of many stories I have.

next junior high

That is really special. I wonder how old he was in fourth grade? 17? But the first three years of first grade has to be hard on any nigger.

Coontact Tale #145 In all my collected Coontact Tales I have kept pretty close to insisting that tales of coontact be personal encounters told by the coontactee or someone one or two people removed.

There have been a few times where the story told was so special I had to say the hell with the rules and publish it for your entertainment.

This story sent to me by ®UFEZELA from South Africa and, after reading it, I said to myself "This must be shared with the rest of the world."

Here is an actual photo of Max.

maxspot.jpg - 0 Bytes

Gorilla shot as fugitive seeks refuge at the zoo
Friday 19 July 1999

By Christopher Munnion in Johannesburg
A MOUNTAIN gorilla was shot and wounded yesterday as he grappled with a fleeing armed robber who jumped into his zoo enclosure.

The 28stone 4 lb primate (converts to 400 lbs or 182 Kg), called Max, had emergency surgery for wounds to his neck and shoulder after the shoot-out between the suspect and the pursuing police and zoo guards. Max was back in his enclosure last night, "not in the best of moods but recovering well", according to a spokesman for Johannesburg Zoo. "It was a case of 'You ought to see the other guys'," said the spokesman. "Max mauled the suspect who shot him, and bit and mauled two policemen who were chasing him. He was very angry."

The incident began when a (kaffir - my insert) raider was surprised in the garage of a home in the Saxonwold district next to the zoo. The robber fled into the zoo grounds, followed by a police reaction unit. He ran to a viewing platform next to the gorilla enclosure and, as the police closed in, jumped down into the caged area where Max was paying court to his new companion, Lisa, another mountain gorilla.

"The suspect ducked inside the gorilla's night room and came face to face with Max," said Jaqui Thompson, the zoo spokesman. "It's difficult to say who was the more surprised but Max was feeling quite protective and grabbed the man, who shot him three times." The police also jumped into the enclosure. A gunfight ensued in which the robber was shot in the groin. Max, by now enraged, bit Constable Robert Tshabalala on his arm and buttocks, broke the arm of Sgt Rassie Rassenele and caused Constable Amos Simelane to break his ankle as he scrambled clear.

Zoo officials shot a tranquilliser dart into Max. The gorilla was taken to a nearby clinic and underwent emergency surgery. "He is recovering remarkably well, despite having one of the bullets still in his body," said Miss Thompson. "He'll be fine but a little confused by this dreadful human behaviour."

The injured policemen were treated at the same clinic. A police spokesman said they would "carry no grudge against Max". The robbery suspect, recovering from a serious gunshot wound and several injuries caused by Max, faces charges of malicious damage to property, pointing a firearm at police and cruelty to animals.

And we are treated to this follow up story detailing how the kaffir came out in the fight!

Gunman's fight for life with zoo gorilla
Friday 26 February 1999
By Christopher Munnion in Johannesburg

THE man who shot and wounded Max, the South African gorilla who has become a legend, described to a court yesterday how he fought for his life with the animal after jumping into its pen at Johannesburg Zoo.

Isaac Mofokeng, who jumped into Max's enclosure while running away from police officers, said: "I thought my last day had come. The first thing the gorilla did was rip my jeans and bite me on the buttocks."

He told the Johannesburg magistrate: "He slammed me against the wall until I became semi-conscious. I thought it would be better to kill myself than be torn apart by the gorilla. At one stage, I put the gun to my own head and thought of pulling the trigger."

Instead, Mofokeng shot Max. He said: "It was not malicious. I was fighting for my life." Mofokeng has pleaded not guilty to robbery, rape, house-breaking, escaping from police custody and "malicious damage to property" - the charge relating to the shooting of Max.

Earlier, the police officers who had chased Mofokeng told how they had been attacked by Max as they tried to arrest the gunman. At one stage, the wounded and bleeding gorilla had a policeman under each arm.

Sgt Andries Rasimela said Max had bitten him and punched him. He saw his colleague, Constable Robert Shabalala being squeezed between the gorilla's legs.

Mofokeng said the incident arose from a "misunderstanding" when he went to a house to show the owner a gun he had found. He said: "They thought I was there to rob them so I ran into the zoo and jumped over this wall thinking I would be safe. I did not know it was the gorilla pen."

Max underwent surgery and recovered to be proclaimed a "national hero". Donations for his welfare came from all over the world.

The trial continues.

®UFEZELA adds "I can't remember what sentence he got, but this kaffir must have shat himself on finding himself facing this huge silverback!!! And he IS big - I've seen him myself!" No kidding, was it a scrawny kaffir?

Coontact Tale #146

From the writer "Please read Coontact Tale #144 before you read this"

coontact a life story part 2

My parents sent me to Lutheran school for the 7th and 8th grade and they had three black students in this micro school. The first day of school I notice the two males that were in my class, both needed a shave. Ok Dan and Jim were not bad,(just dumb as a box of rocks) but I always wondered how they got into this school.

First to be accepted you must have had basic algebra and read at the 9th grade level. So the classic school day, an hour of religion an hour of writing an hour of math, then science, lunch, english, a foreign language then P.E then finally home. On odd days we got a dose of social studies world geography earth science and a couple of other topics. The hard part was we didn't have a library and in 1976-77 no internet so on Wednesdays we walked down to the local library to research a topic. This is when I learned just how fast blacks could run. we were walking down the sidewalk when to big dogs charged the fence, no big deal there was a fence, when I looked back to see how the rest of the class faired against the dogs Dan and Jim were two and a half blocks away and still running. I thought it funny, we had math, math and more math down stairs for an hour every day and Dan and Jim were never there, on odd days we had social studies and it always revolved around Mexico (a mud country) or Africa (a mud country) on the Africa days Dan and Jim would excuse themselves and if the topic came up suddenly they would get pissy and leave the class room. English hour came around and away went Dan and Jim, so I asked the question were do they go during these class times and my answer was "some people have special needs".

So I guess this would have been my first contact with affirmative action and special dissipation people or maybe it was this simple, the private school I attended didn't want them dumbing down their academics and gave them something to do (like pick cotton) while the rest of the world was getting the tools they needed to survive, guess I'll never know. Sorry this was not an exciting coontact tale but after all the school was private.

Tale 3 is public high school and it promises to be better.

Coontact Tale #147

I witnessed perhaps the funniest fucking thing I've seen in all my years of nigger watching. Nothing is better than watching a stumbling, bumbling nigger foul and fumble something away. Losing a good job or destroying an opportunity. Niggers excell at this type of behavior. There are a few lucky niggers out there but most are doomed to fail

This is a failure of a different sort by a loud, fat and obnoxious nigger who thought she was the life of the party. I normally do not frequent dance clubs but it was my friends 30th birthday and we wanted to show him a good time. To some in here, that would probably mean a tractor pull, not us. We went looking for some women, WHITE women. This club that we went to was about 90 percent white, not bad for a city night club. Most of the niggers were cages and fed but there was one that you could hear on da holla tip. Runnin off at da mouth. She kept wanting the DJ to play her song. Finally, after 300 requests (a good looking blonde would have been there in 1) she got her song. As the song came on, the large nigger came stumbling off the carpet and out onto the dance floor and that's when it happened. She slipped off her own feet and fell ass over tea kettle, sprawling out all over the floor. Losing her drink and 50 pound purse in the proocess. Looking very much like a cow trying to get up after birth, this 400 pound bahoometh rolled around the ground for 5 minutes before the ambulence arrived. This fat nigger tripped over her own fat feet and now she'll sue the club where it happened. Even the ambluence driver was like "get up bitch." Fat nigger.

Coontact Tale #148

In 1977 I was a freshman at an affluent high school. Then it happened, in a place called East Palo Alto the only high school (Ravenswood High) burns due to faulty wiring and the district was unwilling to rebuild siting corruption and violence problems in the past. 1/3 are bussed to Carlmont and on the first day of school a riot breaks out. The other 2/3 are split between Woodside, Sequoia, Menlo, and my school, and here it begins, it is now 1978-79 and I am a Sophomore, one of the requirements to graduate is 10 units in what they called vulgar arts, like woodshop or metal shop drafting and so on. My choice was metal (don't ask me why I still don't know) basic metal would fill the requirement. Every class had a T/A (teacher assistant) some had three or four, the first project was a scribe, a piece of 1/4 inch stock, heated in the forge and you bent or rolled a loop in the top and while hot gave the neck a full twist. then you buffed it on a high speed wire wheel. Easy right, there was a small frosh blonde white kid in the class, (frosh=freshmen)and this black kid orders him to make him a scribe, so the white proceeds in doing what the black kid told him to do. This rather large white T/A tells the frosh "tell him to fuck off and do it himself" and the frosh (afraid of the upper classmen T/A and also afraid of the black kid) tells the black kid "make it your self" and goes back to the wire buffing wheel to buff his project. The black kid takes his scribe and puts it in the forge and gets it red hot (just like you are supposed to) then he takes it out of the forge with a pair of tongues, walks over to the white kid at the buffer a places the red hot work piece right up against his ass, which burns a whole through his jeans and brands his ass. The first thing the white kid did was buff the shit out of his hand and the second was scream. I never saw that white kid again, but I saw his little black buddy and continued to see him the next two years.

Coontact Tale #149

My favourite story was told to me by a mate of mine who is Sri Lankan, i.e. he looks Indian. He is also a committed racist and absolutely hates niggers, worse than we do. Oh, and he's an Oxford graduate and now a consultant dermatologist. Remember, we're all low IQ rednecks...

Anyway, one day many years ago as a medical student he was about his business in St Thomas' Hospital, London. He had just picked up a bag of second-hand medical textbooks off a recently-qualified colleague who didn't need them. The bag was heavy so he put it down for 10 seconds and it was instantly stolen.

He went off looking for them and within half a minute he found the bag brazenly underneath some nigger patient's bed. Rufus, wearing an expression of Niggerstanding, was trying to read one.

My mate marched over, tore it out of his hand, and set off. "Hey man! Dem's ma books!" shrieked the nigger after him, incredulously.

"No they are not your books, you fucking thief," hissed my mate. "They are mine, you stole them, you fucking fool. What use are they to you anyway? Why would you have a book on " - checks cover - "Topical Anesthesia?"

"Becuz I iz interested in da body," claimed the nog, apparently seriously. "You cannot talk to me like dis just cuz you is a doctor! It be racism!"

Cut a long story short, not long after my mate actually had this malingering bastard in his "care" in some way. It turned out the fucker was one of those health tourists who doesn't even have a right to any treatment, and my mate he had a pretext to give him an injection. So he got even.

First he recruited a couple of female assistants and he made the nog take his pants down, to humiliate him. "Right then," my mate went on, still pretending he hadn't recognised him. "I'm going to give you this one in your dorsal vein."

"Muh dorsal vein? Where dat?"

"It's the one that runs along the top of your penis." My buddy then produced the biggest fucking needle he'd been able to find and advanced menacingly upon the coon, who's naked from the waist down with about 4 young white women watching him and sniggering. At this point he screamed and ran from the room carrying his pants, never to be seen again.

A variation on this apparently is to drop the needle a few times so it bends into a hook shape at the tip. It still works but it rips a nice chunk of flesh out when you remove it.

Coontact Tale #150

When we last left Our Hero, he was recovering from fits of laughter at watching the suspension of a car nearly blow out under the weight of a giant-assed Mammy.

Today, Our Hero went to work, where he fielded this phone call at 12:08 hrs:


Me: "Hello, this is *******, how can I help you?"

Unidentified caller: "Is dis where be de doahs?"

Me: (stunned silence for 3 seconds) "Uh, say again?"

Caller: "De doahs! I ohdud me a doah."

Me: "I understand you special ordered some merchandise. Let me pull up the correct screen on the computer and we'll get this sorted out."

While I am typing, I hear the following in the background: "Chile, slide me dem Kools dere on de table, naw, naw, t'othuh ones."

Me: "Okay ma'am, I'm in the correct menu. What is your telephone number?"

(Brief search with no results)

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am, but that does not bring anything up. What is your last name?"

Caller: "Watkins" (not her real last name)

Me: "And your first name?"

Caller: "Fushiqua" (again, not a real name, but close)

Me: "Okay ma'am, I have your order up and.."

Caller: "Mah ohduh be in? I ohdud dat doah fo weeks ago! Ya'll be tellin me it be later and later, I dunno what you all be doin but dis sheeit gotta stop!"

Me: "Ma'am, I'm looking in the notes with your order and it says here you were contacted on 23 June at 10:36 am. A message was left on your answering ma-"

Caller: "Ain nobody call me!"

Me: "Ma'am, I'm only reading the notes in the order. It says here a survey was taken at your number to see how your door is working out."


Me: "Calm down ma'am."

Caller: "I AM CALM!"

Me: "You don't appear calm, ma'am. Most likely what happened was the person who called you was going off of a computer generated list and-"

Caller: "I ain got no doah! Dey's LYIN!"

Me: "Ma'am, there is absolutely nothing in this file that says you received a door. Nobody is lying to you, and nobody is trying to cheat you out of anything. As I explained before, wha-"

Caller: "It be in?"

Me: "What?"

Caller: "Mah doah, it be in?"

Me: "Yes ma'am, your door is here and was received on-"