Niggers are retarded. Yes, they are!
Chapter XXV | Chapter XXVII | Coontact Menu
Coontact Tale #1,161 (01-27-2008)
I went to the mall the other day before I had to go to work. Well, my two kids were bugging me for their monthly dose of Abercrombie so I just had to take them there so I could have some peace after I got home from work. I personally think it's excessive. The only good thing about that store is that coontact is virtually non-existent. Abercrombie & Fitch is famous for not hiring niggers, though I hate the fact that the clothes are probably made in a Phillipines sweatshop and they then sell them for OBSCENE prices. But hey, thats corporations for you. It's good for the economy. Going back to their smart hiring practices though, I think they only hire attractive, cream of the crop white humans since I started purchasing clothes from there. They probably do hire niggers for AA reasons so the gubmint won't get on their asses, but they probably keep them working in storage (and wisely so). Well I get there the other day, and lo and behold, theres a fagotty looking nigger standing in the front as a greeter with his ripped jeans and a shirt 5 times smaller on it than it should be. Well I get there and the buck approaches me and says "you're not dressed properly fo da sto." I told it look, I'm paying your sorry as your salary so you won't have to collect a guvmint check at the end of the month, and I spend a lot of money here, so just stay in your place. I don't wear your trashy clothing, I'm here to put money in the damn mall's coffers. Anyway, my daughters start asking me to move on into the store and not start a scene. Anyway we get their clothes (after about an hour there) and I ask the cashier how the new employee is. She whispers to me "he's a mistake. Wish they'd fire his ass." I nodded in agreement. What is with this? I thought this high falutin clothing outlet was the only non-niggerfuxated corporation left in America!
Coontact Tale #1,162 (01-27-2008)
I was riding a bus to work one day (this was in 2002) and there's this nig sitting in front of me. As the bus entered an industrial area, the driver (a friendly YT) slowed down because the speed limit is just 50km/h. The nig started acting agitated and I can really see he's turning into a chimp just like a werewolf slowly transforms by the sight of the full moon. He then said to me in a Jamaican accent "wat this be driver doing slow. If he's in Jamaica he would be killed by now." Why the fuck is he saying this, I asked myself. He should be glad he's in a much better country now, and yet he's bringing all this "in Jamaica..." crap and violent mentality.
Coontact Tale #1,163 (01-27-2008)
A day full of coontact (long, sorry )
Finally, caught up studying, and I can tell you about a HORRIBLY niggerfuxated day. I'm a third year med student, and we have what are called clerkships, where we get sent to work with real patients (we're supervised, don't worry). My assignment this month is in an emergency room in one of NYC's worse neighborhoods, and the shift runs 7 AM to 11 PM. I'm going to give you a fw of the day's highlights.
7 AM, I arrive, hang up my coat, and sit at the desk with my Starbucks (I need the caffiene jolt to get going) and look over the charts of patients there early. I hear a slurp to my right, then hear "dang girl this shit be strong". She-boon clerk grabbed a gulp of my coffee. Into the trash it went. "Why you be doin dat"? it asked . My answer-"do I really have to tell you"
7:15 AM, called into the ER supervisor's office with the she-boon, a union rep, and my chief resident, to explain why "I be raciss to the clerk"
7:30 AM, I finish writing down my defense, and try to get back to work.
7:31 AM, my first patient. He's a 55 year old drunken, stinking buck who complains that "muh dik don't get hard no more I want some ub dem blue pills like I seen on TV". Great. Muh dik AND gimme dat first thing in the morning. Then I have to hear this-"A little bitch like you amybe I don't need dem pills". I don't say anything, I got written up once already and I can't take a lot of write ups. He gets a scritp for his Viagra that we're paying for so he can have more kids.
8:05 AM, 14 year old brought in by mama, who can't be over 25 herself. "Mah baby ain't got her period in 3 munfs I dunno why". This is a tough one, 5 minutes later, pregnancy test is positive, and we send her off to the clinic so she can have a nice healthy niglet of her own.
8:35 AM, the frist car accident of the morning. She-boon strapped to the back board, head taped down to keep her from moving in case she has a broken neck or back. she keeps screaming "lawdy lawdy lawdy". It's obvious that she's playing it up, cause the EMT's always make sure to tape down the hair of people who aren't really hurt. She got rear ended by a city bus, and she's going to get her money's worth. No injuries, send her out to meet her lawyers.
10 AM, 25 year old buck comes in, complains that "it burn awful when I piss and green shit be comin out muh dik". We send off his tests, give him his shot and pills for the clap, and try to get info for the department of health for partner notification. As he leaves, he asks me "whut time you off we go get da freak on". Blech, I tell him there's no way I'd get any "freak on" with him.
10:45 AM, called into the office AGAIN, this time I'm rayciss because I turn down a date with a nigger who has the clap. I agree to be more sensitive, and go back to work.
nothing serious til evening, the last good one of the day.
9:15 PM, Homeboy ambulance service (the niggers gangsters just dump their homies in front of the ER, honk, and drive away) drops a young buck, about 20, with dreadlocks, shot 5 times in his ass. We get in 2 big IV's, and as we cut off his clothes, about 25 vials of crack, a pager, cell phone, and 9mm handgun all fall to the floor. He's yelling "i dunno why dey shot me I din do nuffin" and "dat shit aint mine ya'll planted dat shit on me" I just tell him he can explain it to the nice detective who will be coming to ask him why he got shot. Detective comes to the doorway and gunshot boy jumps up and starts hopping out the door, naked, dragging the IV's behind him. He gets almost past the detective, who just reaches out, grabs him by his dreads and flings him to the floor . Cuff go on, we get x-rays, and bandage the coon, and out he goes with the cops.
Just a day in heaven. I SWEAR, when I finish school and residency, I'm going
someplace with NO niggers.
Coontact Tale #1,164 (01-28-2008)
Nigger Loving Manager
I recently worked at a place of business which I will not name. Food service was the game. I was assigned with a manager by the name of Betsy. Let's leave it at that. In my 2 and a half years at this place of business, I recieved no complaints, many compliments, 100 percent on time, NEVER LATE, no sick day in 2 1/2 years. In essence, the perfect employee, I would say.
Betsy was a fat, lazy, nappy blonde headed white woman. At first, I took her as simply disagreeable and tried to be kind. It didn't work. I discovered many things from loyal coworkers over the next few weeks.
Betsy was a nigger lover.
She had a negroid mix child (Which she brought to work once, very ugly child.)
She was dating a nigger currently.
This made me sick to my stomach, but I chose to avoid it. A few months ago, she started to act very suspicious around work. The negroids would show up to talk to her. Not just one. Many. She brought niggers where they were not welcome (if anywhere), and many, many customers complained, because the place was a nice restaurant, upper class, and they did not want 'thugs' around, as you can imagine.
Betsy was stealing money on a regular basis and voiding orders with her manager password to cover it up. She was using cocaine and heroin in the bathroom, DURING HER SHIFTS, I caught her at it twice while changing liners in the women's room. She was constantly late, disagreeable, nasty, and spoke in Niggerspeak. This race traitor also, if fate would only kill her sooner, had AIDS, probably from sharing needles or body fluids with monkeys.
She stole a 900$ deposit and was fired, as expected. Going over security footage, my GM (General Manager) not only discovered footage of her entering the bathroom periodically, but taking money from the registers, and even going on 'cigarette breaks' outside, meeting niggers in cars and doing drug deals. One tape that he turned off halfway through showing me literally made me vomit; she was caught on tape sucking nigger cock in the front seat of a pontiac. OUTSIDE OF A FAMILY RESTAURANT!
Was she prosecuted? No. She works in town now at a Denny's. Will she be? No. Why? Because it would not be PC.
Coontact Tale #1,165 (01-28-2008)
The smell of the boon
So today I woke up and went outside for a bike ride and along the way I smell some fruity charcoal perfume and look way across the street and I see this dark dark skinned sheboon walking the same way I was biking. I biked faster to get away from the smell but it kept following me then I finally got to the store and went in and came out and lo and behold their was the sheboon walking in the same store! She must have been swinging from trees to catch up to me at the same store. My nose has a shutoff switch whenever its about to detect harm and believe me it shutoff as soon as I saw her again. It shuts off when I go on the bus to. Does anyone know why sheboons and jigaboos put on gallons of perfume? Is it to mask their charcoal odor?
To which Snowflake replies:
Niggers dont wipe their ass very well and have a total lack of good hygiene. A jailer told me that the niggers in jail hardly use any toilet paper at all and are nearly forced to bath.
This is true, because I have heard from
people that spent many years in prison
alongside these niggers and they all say
that niggers either dont wipe or half ass?
do it. They do not like water either.
And stoneyjackson replies:
In the service when we had mandatory Formation 3 mile runs you never wanted to get behind a nigger. Once the sweating started it was like being down wind of a porta john. The she-boons emitted an odor that I cannot accurately describe in words.
I would rather eat a platter of wings in that nasty bathroom in the movie SAW, than eat food prepared by niggers. Look, in forty years of living, I have never once, not one time seen a nigger wash thier paws after using the bath room. Pissing, shitting, doesn't matter, they don't wash, they are un-freaking-clean and I will NOT eat anything a nigger prepared. No way, no how. Well, unless I was in prison, I guess I wouldn't a choice there. But as long as I can help it, I ain't eating what a nigger has touched.
Coontact Tale #1,166 (01-29-2008)
shut down a buck and his mudshark
This afternoon I had a buck nigger come in and ax me for the "cheapest" cigarettes in the store, nothing unusual there. So when he waddles up to the counter and gives me a check I notice 2 things, first its already made out, and second its from the baptist church down the road and it says "for:prescription". So I call my manager up because at this point something is smelling fouler than the nigger standing in front of me. The manager takes one look at the check and calls the church. At this point the buck starts saying "it beez for her, it beez for her she in de car let me go get her" So he waddles out and I'm expecting him to bring in his grandmammy, but no he brings in your classic aids infested "white" crackwhore. Now in the mean time my boss has informed the church that A: they have been scammed and B: the buck and cumbucket were using the check for eight dollars that the church had given them for medicine for a pack of pallmalls. Anyway the cumbucket was chimping on my boss and screaming at him to give her the damn check back that by god she'd go somewhere else to get her cigarettes.(the buck had retreated to the hooptie to get ready for the getaway) and stormed out the door. Nowat most CVS stores when something like this happens we can send out an alert to the other stores in the district complete with security cam pictures of the offenders so they can be identified if they go into another CVS store, by the time I left at four we had gotten calls from 5 stores in augusta and aiken that they had tried the same game and been denied in all of them and that each of the stores had called the police and reported them for check fraud. Right now I'm waiting to here where they get arrested (and yes the church called and put a stop payment on the check)
Coontact Tale #1,167 (01-30-2008)
More ER coontact tales
Okay, I'm sufficiently calm now to relay some of the "adventures" I had in nigger playland also known as the ER. The audacity of these apes is unbelievable. Okay, here goes:
1.) Tale #1, the Uppity Nigger comes in for a sore throat remedy. I was working in triage last evening (always a treat) and I swear, the nigger grapevine was in full swing. I call in to the office "Kwanzaa Fullofhimself". He's dressed for Halloween tonight and trying to masquerade as a human in a three piece suit. First thing he says is some sarcastic comment about the wait. Mind you, he had a FIFTEEN MINUTE WAIT because he came in around 5 pm, which is usually a fairly quiet time. Then, the monkey becomes defensive when asked health history questions. Every appropriate question was parried w/sarcasm. He dared to ask how long the wait would be as he had THINGS TO DO. He was told it would be "awhile" as the fast track area was full to the gills. Keep in mind, IT HAD NO SYMPTOMS, WAS NOT FEBRILE, AND WAS NOT SICK IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. Sorry for the caps, but I had to include them for emphasis. IT HAD A SORE THROAT FOR THREE WEEKS. It muttered something at the conclusion of the triage assessment and ambled out to the waiting room.
2.) Tale #2, the fat, stinky sheboon comes in fo' kootch pain. Okay, not long after "kwanzaa", this 400 lb sheboon comes in and says, "ma kootch be hurtin' Lawdy, how long duz ah hafs ta wate in sheet. Stupid idiot couldn't even answer the simplest questions. Meanwhile "Kwanzaa" is pacing in his human costume.
3.) Tale #3, the recent Koon Kollege graduate...reason fo' being in the ER, who the hell knows, except fo' mofine n sheet. So, this subhuman bipedal piece of sheet, who can't answer the simplest questions either, proceeds to tell me that he was released from the County Prison on Friday. This one was hilarious because it became obvious what he wanted, but had no idea how to go about "axin' fo' it n sheet", the dialogue went something like this, "i gots, oooo, I tink i gots, I, well, oooooh, muh dick (no exaggeration and always a good standby).
It was a seemingly endless parade of niggers, all night long. Fat ones, stupid ones, all kinds. They're impossible to deal with. Except for this site, there is absolutely no other place to vent. I want segregation back so badly I can taste it. All human hospitals, restaurants, etc. Now the niggers don't know their place anymore. I shouldn't really complain, though, that poor medical student doing her clerkship in that horrible inner city cesspool really had it bad. I hope she's okay.
Coontact Tale #1,168 (01-30-2008)
Oopps, i almost forgot...
This weekend i was working on the door of a club, (we have a no spooks policy, but because we're all licenced we have to turn them away in the right mannar).
At about 10.30 this spook comes up to me and says "cun me git in der mun?" i told him that he'd have to get searched, (knowing that niggers HATE being searched because we're always right and they ALWAYS have something on them they shouldnt have)
So i started to search it, (i did have gloves on!), and it kisses its teeth, you know that horrid sucking noise they make between thier teeth.... Anyway, it says "git yo dirtee unds off me mun" i said "you think ive got dirty hands.... take a look at your paws.... theyre fucking [email protected] now fuck off, you aint coming in".
Thats not the funny bit, there was a copper about a hundred yards away whos now wondering why i turned him away, and decides to search him.... he found a knife and some drugs..... YOURE KNICKED!!!
Coontact Tale #1,169 (01-30-2008)
My girlfriend and I never grew up and every year continue to go to Disneyworld in Orlando. We're big fans of the rides and experiences. We have been together and doing this for years now.
Three months ago we went down. We like to stay on Disney premises when we can because the accomodations are great. We save up our money to stay at the more expensive accomodations with the goal of a more "nigger-free" experience.
We stayed at Disneyworlds 'Old Key West' resort. Basically a large apartment complex with very nice different sized condo apartments. Pretty much white.
The first morning we go to breakfast at their restaurant and when we first walk in nothing but humans both as patrons and servers. We sit down in a booth and talk about the wonderful nigger free ambience. The server comes by and is friendly and happy.
Right after we order four f*cking sheboons come in and sit in the booth next to us. This is nothing new to me since my girlfriend and I are always "The lucky ones".
IMMEDIATELY when the friendly waiter goes to them they demand to talk to the chef or manager. They state that they ate there the night before (BULLSHIT I think) and one of them had an allergic reaction to something so it must have had crab. The server tells them they don't serve crab in anything other than a crab dish. NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM. The chef comes out and tells them the same thing. STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM. The server tries to interact with them. THEY SIT SILENT AND GLARE AT HIM. Finally they order and eventually leave. After the incident the guy had the look of someone that had just had all the juice in him sucked out. We gave the server a very good tip since I saw no tip left by the sheboon troop.
When piecing together things we realized that despite "The Old Key West" resort being of a price range that limits niggers the problem is that nearby is the port Orleans hotel which I hear is a haven for niggers (usually 15 per room). Add this to a bus system which links the parks and Disney hotels together equals nigger troops free to go to hotel areas they can't afford to stay but can go to demand free food (Their intention).
MAN, YOU GO ON VACATION TO GET AWAY FROM TNB AND YOU STILL RUN INTO IT.
Coontact Tale #1,170 (01-30-2008)
Niggers In the Road Redux
On the way home from work a little while ago, I had a fairly unusual "nigger in the road" experience. Three teenaged bucks were crossing the road in front of me; one of them spots me coming and actually turns around and walks back, stopping on the centerline. He then proceeds to bob his head up and down while making very peculiar motions with his right arm, i.e. acting as if he's simultaneously turning a doorknob and working a pump handle. After I passed, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all three of them slapping hands with each other and laughing uproariously. That was the nigger's accomplishment for the day, or what?
Coontact Tale #1,171 (01-30-2008)
Amazing "muh dikk" story
I was playing poker in a local casino. There were two niggers at the table. I was in the hand with one other guy (a human obviously) and by the river I had made a pretty good hand. I had been calling bets that I shouldn't had and it paid off for me at the end.
I kind of felt bad for the human because I had no business being in the hand to begin with and then I took a pot that he should have won. I lamented to the entire table, "If I couldn't come from behind in Poker, I'd be broke a long time ago." The entire table, save one nigger, politely chuckled.
The nigger who wasn't laughing said, "Wut you say?"
I repeated myself, much slower and much more evenly, as I was speaking to someone who was likely retarded.
He laughed. "Oh, I gid it. I thought you said, 'If I couldn't cum from behind and poke her... like two words n' shit. Poke... her'" He went great lengths to describe his perverse thinking. He then let out an ape-ish laugh for the next minute or so.
Needless to say, the humans at the table were stunned.
Coontact Tale #1,172 (01-30-2008)
Disney Coontact II
A quick additional story.
On The same Disney trip we were taking that train in the back of the parK to where Space Mountain is located. It was a hot day and of course lots of people. On the train platform which, looped over where the trail that people walked along, we were in line waiting for the train. A gaggle of niggers in front of us.
When human children become annoying or unruely the parents always rein them in. If the kids start getting physical with their siblings the parents stop them immediately.
Well the troop of niglets get into it on the platform. Laughing slapping one another stepping on peoples feet as they shuc and jive with their brother from another mother.
This jr sheeboon ,of about 12 years old, open fisted hit her brother in the face. The jr buck is about 15. The brother looks to what I assume is the "daddy of the week". Good ol daddy says "You gonna take it from that bitch, throw her over the side". Bother picks up sister and dangles her over a 15 foot drop where people are walking under. The Jr buck doesn't drop her but jesus christ.
Just a good old example of nigger parenting skills.
Coontact Tale #1,173 (01-30-2008)
Right doctor for a nigger sow?
Waiting in line at the druggist to pick up my prescriptions I was accosted by a fat nigger sow, who apparently has all the diseases caused by over indulgence. It was asking if any of us could recommend a good doctor, because "Ah doan like muh doctuh. He's allus badmouthin' me."
I thought for a minute and said, "You should go see Doctor R------s." (Name omitted because he does not doctor niggers.) "He'll cure what is wrong with you. He's not expensive and he even makes house calls on occasion." I gave the sow the address and it waddled off.
I wonder what the sow will do when it calls Doctor R------s and find out he's -- a large animal veterinarian.
My brother in law is a surgeon and he tells me that he actually has to send some of these morbidly obese nigger sows to the local zoo's vet to get X-Rayed and Cat Scanned because they're too heavy and too wide for the standard radiology machinery intended for human use.
Coontact Tale #1,174 (01-31-2008)
At the gas station
Tonight I go with my girlfriend to fill up her car, as she hates to fill it up herself because the fumes make her dizzy. Regardless if shes just being lazy or not I always do it...just trying to be nice to her. So we get to the station by my house and I go in and pay and come to pump the gas. A jigaboo in a Cadillac comes rolling up behind my girlfriend's car, with jungle drums music blaring as loud as possible from the car, shaking its frame and everything. The sheboon driving goes in and pays, and comes back out to fill it up. I'm still filling up the car as the pump is moving ridiculously slow. The sheboon starts to push in the nozzle of the gas line into her gas tank and starts trying to pump it. She keeps trying and trying and starts jumping up and down like an ape because she can't figure out how to use the pump. So the nigger calls over to me, "How you be usin' da pump?" I tell her to push the grade of gas she wants then the start button (as anyone with half a brain would know how to do.) She apparently couldn't understand anything but ebonics because she asked me, "What button you be talkin bout, der be lots ah buttons." I just called her stupid, finished filling up the car, and got in and left.
As we were pulling out of the parking lot, she still hadn't figured out how to use the pump. She wasn't 14 and had the car for the first time by herself, she was about 40.
I'm glad to see that all of our liberal idiots still think that niggers are human and have the same cranial capacity and the ability to learn as a human. What a joke.
Coontact Tale #1,175 (01-31-2008)
Sheboon Guest Speaker.
One of the many nasty sheboons in my class decided that for her demonstration in Economics today, she would bring in her mother who supposedly is an amateur real estate broker.
First off, this is bullshit. Six people in my family are high end brokers and investors, and they don't use any of the methods this Sheboon described as good for setting up your own real estate business.
Let me give you to opening statement.
"A'ight. If youz is gonna open up your own bizzness, you need a' agent. You need a' agent to ax if youz got enough money an' azzets."
The negroid bitch got an A-. I worked my ass off for an A, and she just brought in her sheboon mom, with a few papers stuffed in a briefcase, and pretended to actually have a good presentation.
You're really going to laugh when you hear the contents of this sheboon's briefcase.
A few legal documents (not filled out), with grease spots all over them.
A list of appointments for that day, WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF A BBQ PLACE MENU.
A few cheap bic pens, a notepad and a legal pad.
Step 1: Be a nigger
Step 2: Get Affirmative Action loan from Small Business Admin
Step 3: Buy crack, cadillac, bling
Step 4: Do not repay loan
Step 5: Chimp out when ruined credit interferes with your nigger lifestyle
Coontact Tale #1,176 (01-31-2008)
OK, more fun with niggers at work. (long rant, sorry) I work at a local car dealership. When I need my personal car worked on, the nigger mechanics will put my car to the side 'til the end of the day then get to it "if" they have enough time. Sometimes it takes days to get even the simplest tasks done and even then, I must return my car to make the niggers do it over right. My last car I had in every week for two months because the nigger mechanics (and there are no white mechanics there unfortunately) just can't get it right.
As the quality of the work deteriorated I was finding my car returning over and over back to the shop and the nigger mechanic started getting testy whenever I had to bring my car in. One day it told me that it "doesn't get paid for doing warranty work" which I know for a fact is bullshit. Anyways, isn't the purpose of a warranty so you don't have to pay out of pocket later? I guess that idea eluded this greedy nigger too. The nigger was asking me for a handout, extorting me and my car for extra cash. The next time I had some work done, I slipped it a $20. and told it "don't expect this every time". I never did it again since.
I am getting friendly with the manager of the shop who is white and plan to tell him about this soon, but - Here's the f*cked up part: There are only nigger mechanics there and the one nigger I use is the best one they got, which sucks. I know that the only reason the nigger does shoddy work is because of lack of $motivation$. My new car is under warranty so I have to use THIS nigger and THIS shop as they are the only ones w/in 100 miles of here. Until my shop hires a white mechanic I am stuck having a nigger touch my car and I am not pleased at all.
When I lived in FL I had white mechanics who understood quality and also comprehended that I like to keep my car nice. Here niggers in SC shit all over everything they touch and if they do a half-assed job they are proud of themselves. When my warranty expires I will sell this car and never buy a new car in SC again so I won't have to take it into a nigger filled dealership again and will be free to have warranty work done by my choice of white humans. Sorry for the long post and I hope my babble makes sense.
Coontact Tale #1,177 (01-31-2008)
Wal-mart Encounters, very long
Working at Wal-mart was hell, especially in the sort of neighborhood I used to live in. Thankfully, I only work part-time now and in a neighborhood where the ape to human ratio is only 3:20.
At the cash register:
A typical buck nigger walks up to my register wearing sunglasses, a large shirt with a picture of Sanford on it, and a huge gold chain. His sow is beside him with huge fake nails, a badly done weave, and the requisite "ghetto booty". To make matters worse, all of her clothes were three sizes too small and she wore more makeup than a transvestite.
The buck puts down a 12-pack of Pepsi next to his fried chicken and chitterlings and his girl, I guess trying to make things easier for me, pokes the cardboard handle on top of the box. It doesn't work, so she keeps poking it...
SPEW!!!!! Pepsi goes everywhere and hits the buck in the eye.
"GODDAMN WOMAN SHIT DAMN DAT SHIT'S GOT ACID IN IT!!!"
This is a shorter encounter, but no less horrifying.
A young sow, without the usual parade of niglets came to my register. Strangely, she wasn't rude and she wasn't buying the crap that niggers usually stuff themselves with.
Upon closer inspection, to my horror, she had hair. Curly, pubic-like hair. All over her boobs and chest.
This is probably my best story. I was working in the electronics section and a nigger with his apparent nigglets, five of the little bastards, came in the store, along with his two niggerish friends. The whole time they were there they were joking around about shooting other nigroids for whatever reason. Then he asked, in his nigger tongue, "Where dat game da call of dootee fo' at?" I picked it up for him and , grudgingly, I proceeded to checkout. But, before I rang him up, I had to go on my little spiel that it was an M rated game (the kids were the ones wanting it) for violence and blah blah blah. The nigger turns to the kids, slaps one over the head and says, "yall tryin' ta buy dat violent shit i aint gonna tolerate it." Then he flings the game case at me and proceeds to leave. Is that double standards or what?
Around Halloween, Wal-mart sold some little joke toys that shock you when you try to use them. You know the stuff, calculators, pens, and little trinkets like that that give you a little jolt.
Anyway, we sell this one buzzer thing hidden as a box cutter. In the box, in big letters, says SHOCKING KNIFE!!!
Anyway, this nigger sow comes up to me and complains about the shocking knife. She keeps telling me she wants to use the boxcutter to cut up some stuff but every time she tries, she gets jolted.
I try to calmly explain to her (without bursting out in laughter) that that was the purpose of the toy. She says her husband bought it for her when she asked him to buy a knife. She goes on to tell me that she had tried using the knife several times, but couldn't get it to work because she keeps getting jolted.
I had this old nigger-bitch who wanted to return a tie, and she tried to tell me that she paid ONE HUNDRED dollars on a tie, a TIE, at Wal-mart! She had no tickets, no receipts, nothing, so I told her I had to get another tie to compare the price to. I found the EXACT tie, no exaggeration, and it was like $9.99, so I told her I could return it for that.
She then proceeded to turn to my line of customers and yell, "DON RETURN ENNYTHIN TO HER, APPARENTLY YA NEED RECEIPTS TO DO THAT!!!"
Coontact Tale #1,178 (02-01-2008)
My name is Dr. XXX XXXX, D.O. and I'm an ER physician at *** Hospital in ***, ***. I occasionally read this forum from home and at the home of my friend Al. This tale took place a while back. I hate having niggers as patients because they're demanding, manipulative, intentionally vague, morally repugnant and, when they don't get their way in our ER, sometimes dangerously violent. I told Al to post this story, but he told me to "put some use to my day off and type it myself" because "I tell it better."
Here's the scenario. Late Friday night, and it's been a pretty common shift. I'm two hours from being relieved and getting home for some much-needed sleep. I go to the nurse's station and, as my crappy luck would have it, I draw "JaQuon." That is his real first name, and I'm not going to violate my patients' rights, even if the nigger animals shouldn't have any rights whatsoever. But I digress...
JaQuon is a 39-year-old Nigger Buck with a history of Sickle Cell Anemia (SCA) and morbid obesity. He's pretty remarkable because only about 50% of SCA patients ever see 50, and many of them die in early 20's-30's. JaQuon is what practitioners of emergency medicine refer to as a "frequent flyer," or an FF for short. A FF is a patient who repeatedly visits an ER for non-emergency conditions instead of a Primary Care Physician (from now on, I'll use PCP for that one.) Reasons that patients "frequent fly" are either trying to score opioid, or narcotic, pain medicines for illicit reasons (they either want shots and/or a prescription for pills), or the patient is mentally ill. Another common reason for FF'ing is for acute relief of chronic pain that their home medicines aren't touching, such as that of the suffering of a cancer patient or a sickle cell crisis. The latter is our JaQuon.
He comes in about 3 or 4 times per month requesting pain medicine above and beyond what his PCP is prescribing, which would normally send up a red flag with dr's, but behavior like this is pretty common for SCA patients. For patients with well-documented SCA and cancers, I prescribe pretty liberally in the ER, but I seldom write scripts for the patients to take home. Management of chronic pain is the PCP's job, not the job of the ER. In the ER, I pretty much give these patients the benefit of the doubt, ordering whatever they say works on their pain (within reason), and I gradually titrate the doses until they're comfortable enough to go home and see their Doc in the morning.
Anyway, JaQuon takes a pretty big dose of 12 hour, sustained release morphine twice per day, called MS-Contin. He is also prescribed 180 Oxycodone 5MG tablets per month for breakthrough pain. This is pretty normal prescribing practice for chronic pain conditions such as Sickle Cell diseases. Like I said, he's been coming to my ER 3-4 times per month, and I was starting to think something was up after 3 months of this. Every time he's showed up, labs confirmed that he is indeed in crises, although some are usually more "severe" than others.
JaQuon presents complaining of widespread pain all over his body with the worst pain being in his abdomen. This is a pretty common presentation of a Sickle Cell Crisis. I order some blood tests and an IV to be started so he can receive 4 milligrams of morphine intravenously.
He's in my ER for about 6 hours, during which time he receives two more morphine injections. I come into the room and JaQuon looks considerably more comfortable that he was when he showed up. I go over the results of his bloodwork, which shows that his crisis was VERY minor. He then tells me that he's out of pain medicine, he told his doctor, but the doctor won't write another script for 7 more days. I tell him to hold on, and that I wanted to "check something out real quick." I call his PCP at home, in the middle of the night. The doctor backs up JaQuon's story; the doc is scared that the DEA will come down on him if he fills such large opioid prescriptions a week early (technically, requesting early refills is a sign of drug-seeking behavior.) I thank the doc, apologize for calling at such a late hour and go back to JaQuon's room.
I tell JaQuon what I just did, and that his story checks out. I write prescriptions for 7 days' worth of his MSContin and Oxycodone, and tell JaQuon that this is the only time that I'll ever write him prescriptions for these drugs. Never again. I also tell JaQuan that his frequent trips to the ER for narcotic shots is indicative of drug-seeking behavior, and that I'm going to note these thoughts in his chart. He takes the scripts, but not without throwing me attitude, bitching about how "I'll never unnerstad the pain he deals with everyday" and how "dem damn doctors aren't even trying to take his pain away," and "won't give him enough medicine to do jack shit." I really didn't feel like getting into a bullshit argument with this black animal about how I stick my neck out every time I give him multiple shots in my ER.
An hour later, there's a message on my voicemail from the Walgreens in the black part of *** city omitted --Al wanting me to call ASAP about a patient of mine in their pharmacy. I call the pharmacist back, and the hilarity ensues.
The pharmacist asks me if I just had a patient named JaQuon ***? I tell him yes and before the pharmacist can get a word in edgewise, I tell hime that yes, I wrote those prescriptions and that while it's uncommon for ER physicians to write MS-Contin scripts, yes I did indeed write that script for MS-Contin, and go ahead and fill it. The pharmacist, trying to stifle a laugh, says yeah I recognized your handwriting but I have to inform you that JaQuan visibly altered your prescriptions and the police were called in and they arrested JaQuan *** for altering the prescriptions of two schedule II controlled substances, and that the DEA was likely going to get involved.
In what is perhaps the funniest example of nigger stupidity in modern times, it turned out that JaQuon completely scratched out my handwritten prescription for 14 200mg tablets of MS-Contin and scribbled under my writing "5 pounds pure mofine." That's right, the fecal-colored critter wrote for 5 POUNDS of "pure mofine." He also altered my handwritten prescription for 42 5mg OxyIR capsules (immediate release oxycodone, the "active" ingredient in Percocet for you laymen ) by simply adding two zeros. That's right, on top of the "mofine" he tried to fill a prescription for 4,200 capsules of immediate release oxycodone! Evidently this nigger didn't realize that doctors are required to use special triplicate prescription pads...one copy for the patient, one for me, and one for the DEA.
Naturally I had to show the DEA my copies (I didn't have time to send the third copies to the DEA) and the agent was working HARD to stifle his laughter. Ends up after they arrested JaQuon, the subsequent search of his home and his medical records unearthed the fact that JaQuon was not only getting drugs from 5 doctors at different pharmacies across the city, he was also getting drugs under 3 assumed names. JaQuon pled guilty to reduced charges, believe it or not, but he's still having to serve 30 years in what you guys call a federal "nigger finishing school" (I love that phrase, guys!) JaQuon basically got a life sentence, because the life expectancy of a SCA patient is about 50 years old, and from what I understand, there's no such thing as parole from a federal prison.
Hope you guys found this as entertaining as I did!
Coontact Tale #1,179 (02-01-2008)
When I was a youg fella,I was an apprentice millwright at the old US Steel Gary Works.They put me on the oldest,b*@#&est maintenance crew in the mill.Those old coons were all from "down South" and were a goldmine of coontact tales once,I learned to decipher their niggerbabble.They used to ask me if I were hard of hearing because I had to ask them to repeat themselves after they said"Oook ook jibby jabba." to me.After a while I got pretty good at interpreting their lingo.Except for one guy,I never could understand him but,watched his facial expressions and gestures.
Anyway they used to tell this story about a nigger they knew named Ceegar.
According to them,Ceegar kept two large female Doberman dogs and was eventually arrested for committing bestiality with them.
When Ceegar stood before the bench in court,the judge asked him "Ceegar,what in the world are you doing to those dogs?" Ceegar replied "Well yo' honor,I feeds dem dawgs and what I feeds,I fucks!"
Coontact Tale #1,180 (02-01-2008)
Great Nigger Contraception Story
Back in 1989 I was going to college at the University of Miami. While I was there I had many friends including many who were in medical school. The med school has a residency program in the crappiest niggered neighborhood not too far from the "Orange Bowl". This story was relayed to me from a rather straight laced indian friend.
He was at the hospital (Jackson Memorial) and working with a fellow resident at the ER. They were doing a H & P which stands for a History and Physical. H & P involves getting the history of illnesss, allergies, past surgeries,etc. The physical involves blood pressure, neurological checks, listening to the lungs, looking at any injuries etc.
My friend was getting his stuff together when the other resident came in and
told them the patient was ready. My friend was informed the patient was a 14
year old female [nigger] presenting with curious discharge from the vagina.
My friend takes a look at her (with her mami present). What he sees is a strange
smelly mucus that is discolored. He asked her how long her vaginas been oozing
this stuff. She looks at him and states that shes not making the ooze thats
her contraceptive jelly. My freind is bewildered because he has never seen any
contraceptive have such a reaction. He asks her which contraceptive she uses.
The mother brought it with her.
The mom hands over a container of "Smuckers" grape jelly.
Not only did this nigger fuck up by buying the "wrong Jelly" but she had left it in and around her vagina FOR DAYS!!!!!!!!!!
Coontact Tale #1,181 (02-01-2008)
Yet another entitled nigger..........
Okay, friends, got a new ER coontact tale for you....maybe not as flashy as some, but it further justifies the fact that niggermania is needed as much as water, oxygen, and food.
2:45 pm: another shift almost bites the dust....until.......... the float nurse ushers in a 200pound buck and it's stupid, [i]incredibly[i]stupid sheboon.
you want to know what the chief complaint was? Right buttock pain. That's right, right buttock pain. Triaged at 11:00 am, nigger didn't feel like waitin' no mo'.Seys to registration, "I be gotten chess payne".. So guess what, "it's" ushered right back to the cardiac room, which, in theory, is reserved for THE SICKEST OF THE SICK.
F%^&*(g baboon then demands a meal tray. "I dyabehtick n sheet". Me: "how do you control your diabetes?" Baboon: " Ah duzn't no wha' y'all mean (with sincerest apologies to our southern brethren, for the horrible use of 'y'all"). Me: "do you take insulin?" Baboon: [blank stare]. Baboon: "Ah gots ta eat". Sheboon: "he gots ta eat". Me: well, I can't get you a meal tray yet because the doctor needs to see you. Tell you what, I'll check a fingerstick (one-touch) on you and if it's low, I'll get you crackers and juice"
Fingerstick completed (nigger telling me the whole entire time I be doin' it wrong and sheet), and guess what, it's 429!!!! (Normal 70-120) Nigga says," I guess I shon't be eatin them cookies n' sheet". I almost went through the roof. Demanding this and that, once again, no damn sense of personal responsibility...oh well, you guys know all too well (Damn that infernal complimentary cookie area!!!!). Sheboon then adds her two cents and says, "Aint he gettin' no tray?" Me: "Not with a blood sugar like that?!!" Sheboon: [blank stare].
I wonder if it's time to find another job. I'd rather work w/human Alzheimer's patients.
Coontact Tale #1,182 (02-01-2008)
TNB at the copy center
When I was in college, I worked at a copy center, a Kinkos type of place. I worked in one of the whitest big cities in the US, and I worked in the nicer part, and most niggers wouldn't have anything to copy (most of our clients had jobs and were copying things as a part of business), so nigger encounters were few and far between.
Now this was before my awakening, so I'll hope you'll forgive some of my behavior.
This one nigger boon came in every Friday, like clock work. She was skinny and looked like she did a lot of drugs. I knew she couldn't hold down a job. Still, I was always polite and respectful to her (mistake, I know).
So every Friday, she would come in and make one copy and then make a one page fax. She must have been a smart nigger, because she managed to work the self-serve fax machines all by herself. But she would never pay at my counter. She would walk across the store and pay at the other cashiers, even if she had to wait in line.
One night she came in late and I wasn't manning the copy center as I was taking out some trash. When I got back, I saw the nigger there making her copy.
"Oh, when you're done I can help you over here so you don't have to stand in that line."
"Wut did you say to me," she said confrontationally.
"I said I can check you out here."
She looked at me like I just called her a nigger and said, "I don't need your help. You need to mind your own business."
So every week she would come in just like that. One particular week there was some reason she couldn't use the self serve fax. It was being used by humans or it was broken or something, I don't remember. So she makes her copy, hands me the document and orders me "You BETTAH not look at DAT DOCUMENTS. Dat be PRIVATE."
I dutifully didn't look at the documents. One thing I never tolerate is someone being rude to me, nigger or not. So I made the fax, charged her, and when she left I called my store manager over. I know he had run-ins with that nigger before. I told him what just happened as I was telling the fax to spit out a copy of the page last faxed (this is good to know if you ever go to a Kinkos and a nigger is helping you - these things have the ability to store many pages in its memory. Never send CC or SSI or other private information through a public-use fax).
Guess what she was faxing? It perplexed me, but it was "proof " of her working with her hours hand written in to some welfare agency. I vaguely remember looking it up when I got home and it was an agency that gives niggers money when they get out of prison as long as they are working.
I knew with 99% confidence that this nigger was on drugs and not working, but like I said, this was before my enlightenment. If I worked there today and that happened, I'd pull out all the stops for that rude nigger. I'd contact her alleged employer and determine she wasn't working there or try to get her fired for niggerly acts. I'd contact the agency and tip them off. I would have seriously fucked with that nigger bitch's life.
Months later, as I was approaching my last days at the copy center, she inexplicably came to me to check her out. She explained in niggerbabble why she was so rude to me all this time. I honestly couldn't understand the vast majority of it, but something about she had a nigger friend that I was rude to or something so she would take it out on me. Like I was supposed to make that connection and know I was being punished.
Stupid fucking nigger.
Coontact Tale #1,183 (02-02-2008)
Nigger Tries to Ruin Funeral
My uncle passed away about 10 years ago. He was a wonderful friend and an honorable man. He was beloved by many. He was also a Viet Nam veteran decorated with the Silver Star for bravery in the line of duty and the Vietnamese Cross. We felt that we should honor this aspect of his life with an Honor Guard at the funeral service.
Well, the Honor Guard shows up, and its a Nigger Seargent and two non-nigger PFC's. Just before the service, he talked a little to the two PFC's, and just before we went down the isle for the procession, I noticed that he leaned over to my aunt and handed her a small brochure, then stepped away (I was in the back of the procession). He never came past the vestibule, and I really thought nothing more about it.
It was a lovely service and my uncle was remembered for the great person he was. The Honor Guard folded the flag and presented it to my aunt. After the Guard, I presume the Sarge and his PFC's left.
Later, back at the house, we held a reception and we all ate good food and spent time together. My aunt then confesses that Seargent Nigger had given her a pamphlet on "grieving", titled "So You've Lost a Loved One", or some such thing. At first she thought "how nice, the army is giving me a nice brochure on dealing with grief". On further examination she realized it was a FxxxING JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES "WATCHTOWER". We kind of laughed about it at first (I know my uncle was laughing from heaven). But the more my mom and aunt thought about it, the more the Hell flew threw them.
This nigger came into a Catholic Funeral Mass and gave the widow religious propaganda from a freaking different religion. UNFXXXINGBELIEVABLE. Are there no lengths to which a nigger will go to fxxx with white people?. Well, by the following Monday (the Mass was on Thursday), Mom (the sister of the deceased) was pretty angry. She called up the Adjutant Generals office at the local military base and told her story to one of his staffers. Within 10 minutes, the ADJUTANT GENERAL of the whole base called her back and apologized ad nauseum on behalf of the United States Army.
He took her story down and said that actions would be taken and that we didn't need to worry, that this nigger would never be doing such a thing ever again. Wednesday, the General called Mom back and told her that Sargent Nigger was now Private Nigger and would likely never receive another commission in a peacetime army. He may have received a court martial too, I don't know, and I don't care. We are a family that has had many serve in the military. We respect their service. When a nigger seargent can't even respect a fellow serviceman's wife at a funeral, something is wrong.
I'm telling you people, only niggers! Humans can't make this stuff up.
Coontact Tale #1,184 (02-02-2008)
Badly niggerfuxated day.
First, I am awakened three times early in the morning by some dumb-ass nigger asking 'fo' Otis.' The first time I am polite, and say "There's no Otis here, and never was." and hang up. The nigger calls back just when I've fallen back to sleep and axes fo' Otis again and wants to know if I know where he's stayin'. I say no, that I don't know anybody named Otis (which is true) and slam the phone down. Then the nigger calls back again, tells me I'm lying, and to put Otis on the phone. I shout, "There's no fuckin' Otis here. There never has been. There never will be. And If that nigger shows up I'll cut his buttlips off and fry them, and cut his dikk off and make him eat it. And if you call me again, I'll track you down, stick a stick of dynamite up your shitty nigger ass and set it off!" The nigger mumbles some niggababble and hangs up.
Over breakfast, I get a ring on my front door. It's some skinny ass nigger beggar wanting to know if he can do some yard work for twenny dolla'. I tell him I do all my own gardening, I don't need help and to go away. It asks me for spare change, like five dolla? I tell that crack nigger I'm going to get my shotgun and put twenty dollars worth of slugs in its worthless hide. I laugh as it runs down the sidewalk.
At the bank, there are niggers up the ass. It seems they're running some promotion, that if you start a new account, they will give IIRC ten dollars. So all the niggers are bringing in their money, wanting new accoonts. The thing is, after they start the account, they want to close it right away, and get their free money. The bank tells them they have to keep the money in there for ninety days, (It's stated clearly in the ads). The niggers are chimping out, demanding (Yes sports fans DEMANDING) their free money, and calling the bank rayciss. I decide 'screw this' and go outside to use their ATM to deposit my check and get cash. Sho' nuff, nigger beggars have staked this out too, whining 'Gib me dolla'.' I deposit my check, and get cash. I snarl 'Get a job you lazy bums' as I thread my way through the turd press.
At lunch with my wife, there is a fat shenigga whining to the waitress about everything and everyone. It's nigglets are running around the restaurant, trying to steal the tips off the tables. Finally the manager comes out, takes a picture of the sow and the nigglets, tears up the niggers check and tells the fat hog to get the hell out and stay out. He posts the picture by the door, telling the hostess to 'never let that whining ratsack back in here.'
At the grocery store, there are greasy nigger bucks hanging around the doors, trying to pick up human women, shitlets running around throwing things, and sows and bucks throwing packages around, blocking aisles with their fat asses gabbing, and trying and failing to used debit cards at the checkout counter. In our line, there is a skinny old sow trying to buy cheap wine, Mike's Hard Lemonade, and Newport cigarets with it's food stamps. The clerk says no repeatedly, then the sow rummages through its purse for a debit card. Even though it's weffacheck day, there's no money in the account. So the sow digs through it's purse again, digging out greasy dollar bills, nickles and pennies to pay for its shit. So we check out, go to our car, and there are a gaggle of raggy niggers standing behind it arguing over who bumped who's shopping cart. I tell the wife, "Put this goddam thing in reverse and run over them. I'll pay for any damage." She backs thru the niggs, and they start swearing at us and pounding on our car. We go on through them, then tear forward and speed out of the parking lot.
When we get home, Ellen says, "I could use a belt", and pours herself a triple Scotch. I can't drink whiskey any more, so she goes to the fridge, and pours me a Beamish stout. Then she says, "Next time you go out, bring your shotgun and your uncle's horse whip."
Coontact Tale #1,185 (02-03-2008)
So there's a nigger shuttle driver in my school who just can't stop talking about race race race! I'm surprised that his behavior is tolerated here. He's been driving in school for a few years. Actually most of us commuters dont talk with him initially, but the nigger tries to pick up any topic and then shift it to race issues.
Some of his moronic comments, mostly said when the shuttle is ridden by us international students. (He may think since we are not white, we would sympathize them. But on contrary, his continuous complaints just make us nuts.)
1. White people are weak. Black people are strong. cuz whites are afraid of the sun. Nigger's genes are dominant.
2. I just cant trust white people. they just cannot be trusted...(he said it loud and clear on the bus to us foreigners, right after a few white students got off the bus. the white students didnt do anything to this nigger. they actually chatted with him friendly for a while!)
3. A football coach is fired and substituted with a white coach with white mentality, just because the previous coach is black. Color still plays an important role in America. (He argued that with a white guy on the shuttle, and the white guy just shrugged away. )
4. Niggers have achieved great things in history, and earn decent livings, like himself. Some people say why dont niggers do this, why dont they do that. It's just because nigger neighborhood dont have good schools, so niglets cant go to college. (He never mentioned nigger intelligence and laziness are the main reasons for their failure)
5. He told us foreigners to listen to the radio, so we can understand how WHITE people think. Then he follows a nigger kind of loud laugh.
I just sent an email to his boss about the nigger's behavior, I will make more people to tell his boss about this. Hope this nigger get fired as soon as possible.
Coontact Tale #1,186 (02-03-2008)
Deli Section Coontact
This, I'm sorry to report, is a fresh coontact from a few hours ago. I go grocery
shopping in an all human area, so I wasn't "primed" for the possibility
of coontact----and consequently was almost defenseless when I had "a close
coontact of the third kind."
I went to the delicatessen section to buy cold cuts and sliced cheese. This is a very busy area with four workers behind the refrigerator cases, and one has to pull a numbered ticket from a dispenser in order to secure a place on the line. Although there were 19 people in front of me, I pulled a number---and then suddenly right next to me a she-boon's voice bellowed out, "Dat machine beez broke! Yu hasta wait on line like evrabodee els!" And as it said this it pointed its filthy paw at the counter on the wall, placing it directly, 4 or 5 inches, in front of my face. I reeled with repulsion and left the section to shop for other items.
Later I saw this she-boon with the buck; they were a pair of late middle aged, puffy-faced, weatherbeaten coons, probably with liver and kidney problems from booze and/or drugs. They had nothing in their cart but an enormous pile of boiled ham---10 or 15 pounds. Perhaps it was on sale. When I went back to the deli section I quickly saw there was nothing wrong with the "machine." The tickets were printed 123, 124, 125 etc but the workers disregarded the first digit and called out 23, 24, 25 etc. I guess this might
demonstrate the she-boon was a very low IQ individual.
Coontact Tale #1,187 (02-03-2008)
Japanese restaurant coontact
This happened last night. I had gotten back from work and decided to take me and the kids to the new Japanese restarant in town. Anyway we got seated, and there didn't appear to be any niggers nearby so we took the seating arrangements and ordered our meal. Not ten minutes later the waitress seats a pack of male knuckledraggers to the booth next to us doing their TNB on they cey fones and talking at the top of their lungs. This makes me very uncomfortable as I'm out with family and I just get uncomfortable around niggers period. I ask the waitress very subtely to get a new seating arrangement because "these seats are too "uncomfortable."" Well the Japanese waitress started getting really huffy with me about it so I decided to be a gentleman and just grin and bear it, and I wasn't about to leave after I'd ordered fifty dollars worth of food. We eventually, after thirty minutes of listening to niggerbabble get our food and the niggers next to us start catcalling the waitress and using the term "here kitty," and start trying to grab her. I observe with as much subterfuge as I can as not to direct their TNB my way. They hadn't done anything illegal yet so I wasn't obligated to do anything. Anyway my oldest looks at me and whispers "I'm full, can we get a box and eat it at home?" I tried to take her advice and we wait for the waitress. The niggers are shouting for the waitress to bring them more orange soda and say "c'mere lady, we needz mo soda. We beez your korean massas so keep em comin woman." Living in Japan for several years, I know how Japanese regard other Asians who are non-Japanese. They believe they are the "master Asians", so if anyone here knows what I'm talking about then you'll know how mad the waitress would of been hearing that. But I'm getting off topic. Anyway, about five more minutes later of hearing them niggerbabble "I ain't tippin dis biatch" the waitress comes back with their food and a container of the orange soda. This is where I believed she must of been the owner of the place because she takes the entire tray of food and smashes it (food facing down on the table) and pours the entire jug of soda on top of it. "Theres your soda, neega." I told my daughters to go to the car and wait for me because I saw a mega-chimpout coming and I had to be ready to quell any violence. We all had to stifle our laughter and the knuckdraggers probably got up just about immediately after that happened and got in her face. I'm actually surprised the waitress lost her cool because I've always renowned the Japanese for their self-control and long temper fuse. I guess TNB can get under anyones skin though. Anyway, the whole place was watching the TNB at this pont. The niggers all started flailing their arms (like monkeys) and the biggest he-boon started yelling in her face saying "I wantz da meal fo free, a new table, and mo food NOW bitch!" She pointed to the door and said "get out now or I call police". That's when I got up and showed my badge to her and the niggers, then I told them you need to respect women more, and especially someone handling your food. Now you all need to leave or I'm gonna arrest all of you. I was outnumbered five to one here so I was obviously bluffing (and breaking every procedure in the book). Surprisingly they just started niggerbabbling and saying "fuck dis 5-0 lets go homiez." I asked the waitress if I could get a box and a bill and she gave me the box and said not to worry about the bill and to come back anytime I want some coffee. Needless to say, the family outing was ruint but I made another friend in the community who can trust me to defend their property should the need arise. At least I have a free coffee every morning now. :)
Coontact Tale #1,188 (02-03-2008)
Coons car go boom
LOL, This is hilarious! So last night I went to bed around 1 am and all of a sudden I heard a loud boom! I woke up right away and thought some coon was breaking into my house so I grabbed my 1911 and went down stairs to check things out and everything looked ok except for the flashing lights outside. I then went to the kitchen and looked out the window and the whole fire department was outside my coon Neighbors house putting out one of the coons cars. I asked my Dad what happenend and he said the nigger kept trying to start the car and the sparks ignited and smoke was every where. The coon was so dumb they kept trying to start the fuckin car while it was smokin!!! They never called the fire dept. a park ranger passing by called the fire dept. So then the car keeps smokin and as soon as the fire dept showed up she got out of her car. They had to use a chainsaw to open the fuckin hood and trunk. It took like an hour to put out the fire. Thankfully none of the fire dept was hurt. You wont see it on my news because it might be racist,lol. This morning I seen my sheboon neighbor explain to her nigger bf or whatever how the black char on the street got there. Then they walk into the house and sheboon slips on the fuckin ice!!!!!!!!! And falls down and the way she fell was hillarious!!! That made my fuckin day! LOL
Coontact Tale #1,189 (02-03-2008)
My mother's classroom coontacts
Before you read I would like to say I have edited the "B" word in the first paragraph and in the second story. I only used it to keep the authenticity of the story, as it was the was the word she used. That word was offensive to me then as it is now.
My mother was a teacher for over 20 years before she died in 2002. She taught 6th grade life science and 7th grade earth science for most of the time, and had many many good stories to tell over the years. She was a good woman who helped many people. She tried to treat everyone equally, as she was brainwashed to do by the liberals, but I know for a fact that she was a closet nigger hater. She would always tell me to brush my teeth, "You don't wanna smell like those [email protected] kids do you?" and so on. I have a lot of good stories from her days as a teacher. So here are a few coontacts that I found to be special:
~She had this sheboon in her class by the name of Chiquita. Yes, just like
the banana brand. But the sheboon said, "It be said like Sheueeeta."
My mother asked her how she got her name, and the response was: "My daddy
was high when I was born an thought it was funny." When she told me about
her she said, "Do they (niggers) ever name thier children with proper names?"
What a dumbass nigger (However I am surprised the nigger buck was there at the time of birth...)
~My mother had this one niggerbuck in her class that would always disrupt her and cause as much trouble as possible. He would always get detention and never did his work, like a typical nigger. She finally called in the "parents," and from what she told me they were (this is as close as I can remember it) "Very dirty and sloppy, and smelled really bad." Of course their meeting when nowhere...but the mammy gave what I call TMR or the "Typical Mammy Response." That response was: "He's be a good chile, he be going tah church every Sunday." When she came home she told me all about it and said, "Those [email protected] don't know how to raise their children, and why do they always use church as an excuse?" From then on, I called it the TMR every time she would go meet with the "parents" of a nigger.
~The school had an open house where all the parents could come and see what
the classrooms looked like, take a short look at what the teachers were currently
having the students work on, and have a short talk with all the teachers that
their kids had. So in walks a nigger sow with her current niggerbuck (apparently
she never had the same nigger for more than a month and burdened the school
with 3 shitlets.) and they go talk to my mother. The sow starts talking to her
about her chile', while the nigger buck apparently was walking around the classroom
and looking at all the stuff in amazement. Now here is the best part...it's
almost unbelieveable what came out of his mouth, and I'm in all honesty I kind
of hope my mother was stretching the truth on this one because it is so bad
it makes me almost angry to hear about it or even type it. The nigger buck said:
"Wow, I thought da Earth be'z flat from all da maps I seen!" When
she told me what the nigger said, I almost shot to the moon I was so angry at
his lack of basic intelligence.
What a dumbass nigger.
Coontact Tale #1,190 (02-04-2008)
Ok, before the wife and I went to the mall, we went to olive garden for dinner. We went to the bar so I could get a drink (needed a little hair of the dog to get over the night before). I walk up to the bar am standing there waiting to place my drink order when bartender sees me and starts walking over, just then, this sheboon walks right in front of me and asks fo a refill on her wattah. I said "Excuse me? I was standing here first!" She pretends not to hear and waddles off with her wattah. The inside part of the bar is crowded so we go to the outside bar section in the main hallway to stand and wait. While waiting, I had 2 screwdrivers and was feel nice and happy. Just then a fambly of niggers come in and lo and behold, the mammy has BRIGHT ASS yellow curlers in her hair. I looked at my wife and before I could ask she said "yeah I saw it". I started laughing really loud, hoping the nigs would hear. I look across the bar and a bunch of other humans are looking at her, they hear me laughing and give me the "yeah I know, stupid nigger" while chuckling themselves. I guess this is what set up the whole evening and put my TNB tolerance at a very low level
Coontact Tale #1,191 (02-04-2008)
Hilarious OB/GYN story. Must read!
A nurse I know works at THE nigger hospital here in Philadelphia. There's a huuuuuuge windchime bitch who is giving birf to her 9th kid. So help me God, this is a true story hahaha: Ok so she turns to the tx team after the birth and says "I'm gonna name him Muhlass..." - no surprise, nigs always give their kids wierd names, but here's the kicker - "...b/c he's muh lass one." Get it? 9 kids? This one is her last one? LOL I can't make this shit up. You shouldve seen the looks on everyones face when we heard the story. All white people, and we are keeled over dying in laughter. Priceless.
a reply from a reader:
A former friend that I lost touch with use to work at an OB-GYN. She told me about this one niggasaurus that came in. The bitch was so fat, she couldn't get on the exam table by herself. They put one of those little metal step stools (like you see all over hospitals an' shit) down for her to step up on. The bitch was so huge, she couldn't even lift her leg the requisite 10" off the ground to get on that! They ended up putting a phone book down beside the stool so the nigger could step up onto that to get to the stool. After that the nurses had to hold the niggers belly up out of the way so the doctor could get to her cooch. If I was the doctor I would have run that bitch off. I don't know how the guy did it. I asked my nurse friend if he had a gas mask. She laughed and said he didn't but the whole exam room stunk like hell.
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