The following are true true stories involving Tales of Coontact gathered from a variety sources. A collection of Stories were gathered from mainstream chat boards and posted by people just like you and me.

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Coontact Tale #601 (June 12, 2007)

This happened a few years back but it still sticks in my memory.

I was at wal-mart picking up a few things and I heard a strange sound coming from the sporting goods section. I walked over and saw about 4 to 5 white guys holding down a nigger in one of those heavily quilted coats. Apparently the nigger had been stealing quite a few things and trying to hide it in his coat. The nigger kept struggling as he was not going to go quietly and the police had not arrived.

Two older niggers walked by a buck and a sheboon ...dressed very nicely in a suit and dress just like people. They were in their late 50's early 60's by the look of it. They began to protest "why don't they get off of him?!?" I turned my attention to them and listened more intently which they began to speak louder. "They wouldn't be doin dat to a white boy." This nonsense went on and on until I got so angry. I took a few steps toward them and told them to move on. They asked me who I was and I said my name and told them to move on. (I had no official authority at all). They looked confused and I finally said. It must be nice to be a nigger. Watd you say??? the nigger buck said...I said it must be nice to be a nigger, you can go in stores, steal whatever you want, assault people and then other niggers like yourselves take up for them without even knowing what they did. That's what I said. <-- pretty much word for word what I really said to them. He stood and gawked at me for the longest time and I stood my ground and he finally just walked away muttering some nigger babble.

I'm pretty sure that most niggers are full of hot air. You might find a "crazy" nigger that tries to attack but I think most of the time they have to be in big herds before they'll get brave.

Coontact Tale #602 (June 16, 2007)

I was murderous this afternoon after trying to buy one simple thing: one single 25-lb. bag of cat litter.

So I pulled into my local nigger-infested "warehouse foods" store, and left my wife and kids in the (locked) car with the motor running and AC blowing full blast since it was 90 degrees out.

I had to buy a bag of cat litter because my wife was getting on me about it stinking by the cat box, etc. Fricking cats, don't get me started on those.

So anyway, I have this bag of cat litter over my shoulder and I'm heading to the express lane which is CLEARLY marked "20 items or less" when this NIGGER BITCH with a full cart shoots me this yellow-eyed look and actually RUNS to get ahead of me in this checkout line.

Once this nigger has got her cart ahead of me, she puts her niglet in control and proceeds to do a little more shopping, returning with a breastful of Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes, a snickers bar, and some sports drink she grabbed from somewhere.

So by now I'm spitting mad, and it's all I can do to point to the sign and say, "Can you people read?"

And she starts bobbing her head, and says "Whatchoomeanbyoopeepul, yousumracismuffuggah?" while unloading all 53 items out of her cart.

I'm starting to see little blue streamers in my eyes at this point, imagining kicking this nigger bitch out of the aisle by brute force, but there isn't another express aisle open and there isn't a manager to be seen. The three niggers behind me are all sucking their lips loudly at the "raciss" in line, and the nigger cashier seemed happy to ring up all 53 items, as well as honor all six welfare gift certificates (each must be rung up separately) that this nigger sow presented, plus talk this nigger through the inevitable coonfusion that the welfare e-card presented when purchasing all of those "essential" items like candy bars and bagged chips. Plus, she's still glaring at me like I violated her f*cking civil rights.

After this sow finally completed her transactions, I threw my bag of cat litter on the conveyor and demanded to know what an express lane actually meant, and the nigger cashier just started laughing. "KE-KE-KE I saw all dose groceries and I was like, o lawd, here dey come!". Funny shit, if you're a nigger, I guess. Except I've got a car running outside with the air on for about ten minutes more than I needed.

So I get the cat litter paid for and I have to actually PLOW past this nigger because she never bothered to move her cart out of the checkout lane while she was idly packing her groceries. I'm beyond caring at that point, I just grabbed my bag and stormed out, bag on shoulder, while this yellow-eyed nigger bitch was squawking that I'd just committed ASSAULT on her precious shit-skinned person by knocking her cart out of the lane and was loudly exhorting her fellow niggers to call 9-1-1!!!

Fucking niggers. I've had it with that store.

Coontact Tale #603 (June 16, 2007)

Yesterday, I was in the Land Of The Special Niggers, and I stopped to get some smokes and a Coke at gas station. Yet another misleading Buckeye area where everything looks clean and modern, but as always, there's niggers about.

I'm standing in line, two humans working the counter, and this old nigger buck just stands right behind me real close. I didn't hear the idiot walk up behind me...must be why they're called "spooks" - they get up on people and things quiet like a cat. Most likely a genetic attribute from the African Toilet where there are plenty of cats, quietly coming up to possibly make a pouncing attack. Probably where sudden nigger chimp out comes from...mixed with ape and chimpanzee.

Anyway, this old nigger is standing behind me real close invading that personal space that humans have where no stranger is to enter unless it's up to something sinister.

I turn around, look at the old boon, who's still almost like a statue and I move up a bit to get away from the boon. Last thing I need is go back to work with nigger cologne/stench on my clothes. Then, the boon gets right back on me.

"Excuse me, do you mind?", I asked quietly, turning around to the boon.
"What man?", asked the old raspy voice sprog.
"You're standing right on me", I said.
"Bet you don't like no black man standin' near you, huh?", he asked.
"Nope, I don't", I replied.
"Shee'yut", said the boon.

Paid for my smoked, pop and started walking out.

Nigger tells the clerk, "Dat boy don't like b'lack people"

That's right. I don't. Go figure. I'm a Niggermaniac.

Coontact Tale #604 (June 16, 2007)

I go to college and my first class was in the morning around 11:00. My english class was full of niggers. Towards the end of the Spring semiester, practically all the niggers in my English class dropped out (no surprize). We were down to 4 students, no joking. I can remember what acouple of them coons said in that class too. One time, our teacher yelled out at one of them saying "I dont like that tone of language". The nigger responded by saying "yo, its called ebonics,you just dont like us". The teacher said "I dont hate anyone, Im just saying that I dont like the foul language coming from your mouth".

Coontact Tale #605 (June 16, 2007)

A few days ago I had to go to the bank to cash a check. It was a sizable amount so had to go inside instead of the drive-thru. I went in and stood in the long ling waiting for a teller while looking around. I haven't been in there since last month and the place looked like shit! The nice furniture they had before was replaced by some mauve upholstery and the nice shiny stone floor was replaced by this ugly tan carpeting!

When the line moved up, I got closer to the tellers. Three were humans and one was a big fat sheboon with corn rows and a gold front tooth. I thought it was a male at first but two saggy mountains were attached to its chest! I silently prayed that I would get one of the humans, 3/4 odds isn't bad odds. Finally, the lady in front of me was called up by a man and the nigger was the only one open. It hollered "Next?! C'mon up he-re Mista!". I pretended like I didn't notice since I wanted to wait for a human but they were busy with customers.

The idiot behind me tapped me on my shoulder and said "That lady on the left is open, sir." Then I just decided to go up to the sheboon as I was too considerate of others to hold up a line like a nigger would. I went up to the sheboon and presented my check to it.

"Is this real?" it asked me with an odd ball glance. I nodded silently but was thinking "of course it is you stupid ass nigger!" Then the sheboon typed into the computer and had me give my ID. I been a customer of this bank for 12 years and this was the first nigger who serviced me. I had given it a form so it would deposit most and I wanted two thousand eighty in cash. I was given a receipt that showed the money was now in my account.

The nigger started counting out the cash I was owed and when finished, gave me it. I counted it to myself because I didn't trust this nigger and sure enough I was about two hundred short! I axed the sheboon that it made a mistake and I needed two hundred more. "But Is counted it, mista!" it yelled out. I said "No, when I counted there was two hundred missing. Can I see the manager!" The nigger snarled and yelled back "You musta hid it in yours pocket! I counted the change right!"

All the commotion had alerted a security guard who came over and demanded to know what the problem was. I told him that this sheboon took $200 from me. She screamed that she counted it fairly and that I was hiding it. The manager finally came over from hearing the loud fuss the sheboon was making and asked what was going on. I filled him in while the sow began squealing that she counted it right. I gave him the money and he counted it. Sho nuff, there was $200 short. He told the sheboon so but she yelled "He musta hided it!" I said that the sheboon saw me count the money right in front of her and I had no time to hide anything. I said they could even look at the surveillance camera if they wanted.

After I brought up the camera, miraculously the sheboon put $200 on the counter saying it fell on the floor while she was counting. I didn't buy it at all because niggers are criminals. I don't know how this one got a job at the bank unless AA or a liberal was responsible. The manager apologized to me and gave me a free tote bag that they give out to those who open new accounts. I didn't accept and told him that I wanted to close my account. This one niggerfuxated experience was enough for me!

I then left the bank and got into my car. I then called a friend to tell him of what happened. Twenty minutes or so later, I started to pull out of the parking lot but then as I'm driving away I see that sheboon with two security guards outside the building! I think it got fired or arrested..or both . I won't be going to that bank again. If they are stupid enough to hire one nigger then more and more will come in eventually. My friend recommended his bank that doesn't have any nigger tellers at all and that's where I opened a new account that very day.

Coontact Tale #606 (June 16, 2007)

Dear Raptorman:

Your site is fantastic. I can't stop laughing. It's nice to see that I am not the only one who is fed up with jigs. I started out as a very liberal guy who slowly learned through life's experiences that home boys are pure scum. If you would be willing to consider the following submission for your Coontact Tales section, I would be eternally grateful. Thanks. ---XXXX

"Black people frequently inconvenience other people. They tend to block your way when you're trying to walk or drive somewhere while lazily spouting their gibberish. Just yesterday (near the Shady Grove Metro stop in Rockville Maryland), I was driving down a two lane road with the traffic backed up. After a lot of waiting, a trashy car parked on the road came into view, and was blocking traffic in one direction. The door was wide open, narrowing the other direction of traffic. There was a jigaboo sitting in the front seat with his feet perched on the road, gleefully talking on the cell phone and laughing. It didn't look like he was calling AAA or a service station, and he sure as hell could have pulled off onto the shoulder or at least closed the door. It strikes me that niggers like to inconvenience whitey because it makes them feel powerful and important. It's not simply that they have no social skills and are too lazy to move their sorry alligator asses (though both may be factual). I have seen them get all gleeful and happy while making others frustrated. Seeing this scene repeated over and over again has made me a lot less patient with blacks and a lot more convinced that many of them are shit colored coons who smell and act like shit."

Coontact Tale #607 (June 18, 2007)

Had a Coontact at my house just an hour ago. The wife and I were sitting on the couch, watching TV, when the doorbell rang.

Thinking WTF, I answered it and saw a NIGGER at my door niggerbabbling with its paw stretched out. It kept the paw outstretched in hopes I would shake hands with it. I said, "What are you doing here and it said "I'm selling soap, not dope" and it sprayed some nigger cleaner on my glass storm door. I couldn't believe what I was seeing or hearing and I said "Get the hell off my property NOW, or I'll sic the dogs on your ass while I get my gun."

Evidently the nigger wasn't used to being talked to like this, by a proper Whiteman and I said, "MOVE boy, if you know what's good for you". It departed at a fair rate of speed, for a nigger and proceeded to the next human dwelling up the cul-de-sac. I kept watching him from the driveway and he kept looking over his shoulder at me.

Fucking incredible, I've never had a nigger at my door. I feel like taking a torch to the walkway to my door, or pouring bleach on it!

Coontact Tale #608 (June 18, 2007)

This is typical.

I was at the Field Museum over the weekend. That's one of Chicago's major art museums. I especially like the medieval stuff and the impressionists.

This museum is located just outside "the Loop" (downtown) so there are plenty of niggers around on the street, but not totally nigger.

No niggers inside the museum. Except the museum employees. LOTS of affirmative action. No really intrusive coontact inside the museum. We knew enough to find a white employee before asking any questions.

We were leaving the museum when the monkeyshines began.

We're on the sidewalk outside the museum, waiting for the light to change. A random mixed crowd is milling around. I see a young-ish male nigger walking purposefully through the crowd toward the museum. He's carrying one of those plastic five gallon pails, empty.

He sits on the steps, turns the pail upside down between his knees, and starts pounding on it REALLY LOUD.

A street "musician".

The other niggers in the vicinity either ignore him, or look for a minute and keep going. But there's soon a bunch of upscale wiggers standing around throwing change. The light changed and we didn't hang around to see how it broke up.

Nothing dramatic, just a little slice of life in the niggerfuxated city.

Coontact Tale #609 (June 18, 2007)

Two nights ago, the wife and I went to a gathering of co-workers and the most well paying of clients at the boss' house about ten miles from the border of Special Nigger Central - The Buckeye State.

Everyone's having a good time, loading up on food and guzzling down the beer; quite a bit for a Thursday night. Small business big wigs, especially the young up and comers, love to get tanked on any day of the week.

One particular client, this "art gallery" head where they sell a buttload of local PA-OH-NY art stuff and just paid us to do one massive website undertaking with every web bell and whistle that could be found, is there rattling on about how her home over near Cleveland has been broken into THREE TIMES in the past six months. She claims it's "some Russian kid down the street who's slow'. Each time, naturally, many things are stolen and this woman is trying to seem like some holier-than-thou by not pressing charges on this possibly fictional "slow kid".

Then, for some reason, this lady brings up how the cops continue to suspect that it's her "daughter's boyfriend". Uh oh. You know what that means. Chances are, this woman's daughter pops nigger bucks and she doesn't want to accept that her daughter's nigger is causing all these break ins. Out of sight, out of mind.

One of our clients is there and he's picking up the story a bit. He works for a security company that's a sub-contractor for Honeywell's alarms systems that ADT and all those guys use. He offers to get this woman an offer for an alarm system for free installation, one year contract, $20 a month to secure the home...keypad, ten wireless detectors on doors/windows, cellular backup transmitter - the whole nine yards. Woman turns it down; says she "doesn't need it that bad'.

I don't know about you, but after three breaks ins...if you're not going to get a German Shepard and a Smith & Wesson, at least get a security system!

No dice.

This is probably what happened after I put it through a device I'm working on called the Niggermaniac's Troof Muhsheen. It's a prototype. Won't be out for quite a while.

Okay, this is probably what happened.

Woman doesn't want to believe or admit that her daughter's beloved pet gorilla and it's chimps broke into her home repeatedly. To justify not pressing charges against the nigger chimps, she claims that some "slow Russian immigrant kid down the street" is doing the break ins...basically making it a 2 For 1 Bullshit Story. She wants people to believe that niggers are just like everyone else, thus allowing her daughter to date a nigger...and brings up a slow Russian kid as a convenient scapegoat to deflect that it's really niggers, thus wouldn't press charges on a slow human.

Equation: Denial that niggers are beasts, she's stupid and would rather accuse a human than believe the truth that it's a nigger causing this.

The turning down of the security system was the icing on the cake.

See what I mean?

Absolutely nuts. Friggin' Ohio idiots. I guess they must be gluttons for punishment.

Coontact Tale #610 (June 18, 2007)

Coontact Tale #611 (June 18, 2007)

A few years ago my house got broken into. Of course the local police, under the leadership of a nigger police chief, were no help (fortunately he was later fired for sexually harrassing all the white wimmenz at his office, then tried to sue the city for racism).

So I put up security cameras to record everything that goes on around here 24/7. One night, I caught this. Niggers? Who would have thunk it? I was home while all this happened by the way, but didn't notice the recordings until later.

I live in a completely non-nigger neighborhood. Niggers simply can't afford to buy a house in this area. Anyway, one night I was lazy and didn't take the trash in. The sight of a possibly empty house attracts niggers like flies:

They park their nig-mobile up the street and Leroy runs back towards my driveway:

A few seconds later, Rastus follows:

Leroy walks up and peeks through the front door:

While Rastus hangs back around the corner:

Leroy walks over to join Rastus. A friend of mine said this one looked like a bigfoot sighting:

Leroy peeks in the kitchen window, to see if there is any watermelon or fried chicken to steal:

Rastus heads around back of the house with a flashlight in hand:

At this moment, the neighbors came home and possibly "spooked" them:

Here is Leroy running back past the kitchen:

A close-up image of Leroy down by the road:

Leroy and Rastus running back up to their nig-mobile:

The nig-mobile races off:

Now, I've got a motion detector along the driveway. If anyone walks or drives up, it alerts me inside the house. I've also got this, the NigBlaster 870:

Complete with a tactical flashlight to light up the whites of their eyes at night so that I can aim properly. Also a magazine extension so I can handle up to five bucks with five shells of 00 buckshot.

Boy, I sure do feel sorry for all those poor niggers out there, they are always so misunderstood. How about you guys?

whiteboy_gentleman makes the following excellent obversation.

One can never underestimate the sheer stupidity of the nigger animal. Casing your house, under your nose, while you're home, even; although, I doubt they knew about the security cameras.

I bet those cost a pretty penny to install. But then, it's obvious that you believe, as the rest of us should, that you can't put a price on a human life, especially if it's your wife, kids, parents, grandparents, or anyone close to you.

We should be protected against the nigger no matter what.

Great images. It SHOULD (in a perfect world, anyway; this is reality, so it won't) serve as an example as to why the myth of the "innocent nigger" should be dispelled.

Coontact Tale #612 (June 18, 2007)

Today I visited a friend I hadn't seen in years. As we sat on his shady porch, I noticed that a vacant lot was missing, and a building sat in it that had that vague look that said 'nigga shack'. Sho' nuff a fat sheboon waddled out on its porch and shouted 'DaNiga, you get yo' muthafuggin ass on the porch.' A little two year old niglet left playing in the mud and ran to the porch.

My friend said "Habitat for Humanity tore up a perfectly good vacant lot to put those assholes there. All of the neighborhood cats were pissed, they lost some prime mousing grounds."

Now a fat sheboon with two little destructive niglets lives there, along with a sucession of bucks who get pissed off and leave because of her incessant shrieking. On the porch squat a couple of 'cousins' who have been thrown out by their own 'famblies' for stealing from them. My friend said his house has been broken into three times since those niggs moved in.

As we watched, a nigger buck pulled up in a rolling boombox and parked across the driveway. (Remember that, it's plot material.) The boogie oozed into the house. A few minutes later, the nigger oozed out and tried to start its car. The car gave a tortured squeal and died. The nigger got of its car, kicked it and walked back into the house. A few minutes later two bucks walked out of the house, lifted the hood, looked in without doing anything and closed it. (I guess they had seen human mechanics doing that, and wanted to try the same magic.) The buck tried to start his car, nothing happened.

The buck then got out, kicked the car, tore off the driver's side mirror and threw it through the closed window. Then it tore off an expensive radio aerial, and threw it away. Then it took out a knife, popped all four tires, punched a hole in the radiator and carved up the paint job. Then it stomped back into the house.

A few minutes later the sheboon waddled out with its niglets and the oozy buck, and told the nigger, 'Move yo' cah, I gots to go to the grocery sto'.' 'Ah caint' said the buck, 'mufugga won't start.' 'Push it', the niggermammy said, 'an' get it out my way.' While this happened, more bucks and sows kept coming out of the house.

The niggers surrounded the car, and started to push it from all sides. Of course it didn't move. They then got behind it, and tried to move it. But of course it was an eighties Olds niggersled, pimped out with all the nigstras, and with four flat tires. It didn't move.

'Mammy, I hungee,' one of the niglets whined, while eating a fruit pie. The buck with the car backhanded the niglet, knocking it down, and picked up the pie and started to eat it. It reminded me of monkeys fighting over peanuts in the zoo. The mammy chimped out on the buck, they started pimp slapping each other. The other niggers separated sow and buck.

The sow said 'I move it.' She got into its car and started it up. I thought she was going to back into the car and push it away gently. Instead she floored the gas and slammed into the blocking car. The nigger chimped out on the sow, the sow on the buck and they stood slapping and punching each other. The other shitskins picked out sides, and began slapping each other. There was the usual shit throwing and 'muh dikk' display that happens when a bongo party starts.

The crash had caused some human neighbor to call the cops. My friend said, the local law knows that place very well. They're there every week. The cops blocked off the street, and formed two lines. This huge buck nigger in a cop suit stomped up to the buck and sow and shouted, "What's goin' on here?"

All the niggers started chattering at once.

"One at a time,' the cop shouted, and the niggers fell silent. He pointed to the chimp with the car, and it started telling its lies about how 'he loved dat cah' and the sow caused all de trubble. The sheboon broke in with a 'He lyin'. I tell you what happen'

"Ah said 'One at a time'," the buck cop shouted. The sow then grabbed the cop and pushed him back.

This is a pretty liberal wimped area, but there is one thing you do NOT do, even if you ARE a fat nigger sow and the cop is a nigger buck. You do NOT lay hands on a cop. Before she could let out a 'gwine' she was spun around the cuffs slapped on her, and the fat sow was shoved into the back of a black and white.

The white police sergeant apparently said, "Fuck it, bust 'em all. We'll sort it out at the station house." They swept up every nigger, cuffed them and slapped them into the squad cars and the backup squadrol. Child Services picked up the niglets, the tow trucks hauled away the niggerwagons, and everything was quiet.

I noticed that the niggers had left the front door of the shack open. A niggerwagon cruised by then stopped then drove away. A few minutes later, a dozen cars converged on the shack. Niggers got out of the cars, and started trooping into the shack. They started carrying stuff out. It reminded me of ants stripping a dead possum. They worked quickly, and efficiently. There was no slapping, no 'Dat mine. I saw it first.' They took everything, the stereo, the TV set, the furniture, the rugs. I saw a nigger carrying out the toilet. A buck went in with a crowbar, and came out with wall paneling. Two sows wheeled out the fridge and put in the back of a pickup. They took the niglet toys from the yard. The last nigger out unscrewed the the porch light and took the globe and the bulb.

Hours later the sow made bail and came home. She came to my friend's house and demanded to know if we had seen anything. We gave them the same answer her niggers gave the cops when they were ask about the break-ins. "We didn't see nothing. We were watching the ball game and playing pool in the basement.".

The sow accused my friend of robbing her shack and said she was going to search his house. He said. "You get your stinky turd ass off my porch or the cops will be back here, to take me to jail and you to the morgue.'

She muttered something about 'Mufuggin crackahs' and I said. "Didn't your mammy teach you to say 'sir' when you talk to a white man?" The sow waddled off.

All that made me glad I live in a neighborhood that has NO NIGGERS.


Coontact Tale #613 (June 18, 2007)

We went out for brunch today with some friends downtown here in a ritzy area. When we left the restaurant I could hear bongo music and we ventured down by the river to the park. Niggers every where I was amazed that we even had that many niggers in Calgary! It was called Cari-Fest some festival with your expected nigger shit and all this Caribean Pride crap. Police obviously were everywhere monitoring the chimps. I have never seen so many loose niglets running around most werent even leashed. As we were walking past it all my fiance says is "Don't Say Anything". I think I was biting my lip so hard when I was walking through there it bled.

Oh lots of whiggers too! It basically reminded me of Detroit or St.Louis! I guess they have this crap every year here and I have never heard of it until today and have lived here almost 6 years. I know one thing when they have their nigger parade tommorow I will avoid downtown! The sad thing is when we walked by the park I also seen humans entering it wearing nigger attire! Sickening our time is coming!

From time to time we take time out for a public service announcement on how to deal with niggers.

Handling and Dealing With Niggers AKA "Coontact"

Coonfrontation with niggers is something no sane person wants but unfortunately in this day and age it can be a common occurance. Until AIDS wipes them out all of us will at one point or another have an encounter with a feral nigger beast. The following are a few standard common sense things to remember when you do have an encounter with a nigger.

1) Never look the nigger in the eyes ever! Unless it is on TV or hanging from a tree or in a cage! Looking a nigger directly in the eyes makes it spooked. This may cause the nigger to prey on you or think you are racist (which of course hating niggers is not as they are not people). It also may make the nigger single you out as a victim.

2) Never turn your back on a nigger! A nigger is worse than a cougar! Especially when the nigger is alone. Although niggers rarely attack solo they will find a cheap way to attack usually with a weapon. If the nigger is alone no matter the size is odds are if you hit it it will run. Remember niggers are fast animals as most can not afford cars and have much training from running from the police.

3) If you do have to hit the nigger be sure to use a part of your body ie the foot and not your bare hand! As for niggers are highly toxic and many carry HIV in their blood the virus that causes AIDS.

4) The one amazing thing about niggers is they can speak but not very well they share this trait with parrots. If one does speak to you do not respond as it will mean the nigger wants something from you (As if society hasn't given it enough). The only safe place to ever respond to a nigger is in a public place and when the nigger is not roaming in its herd.

5) If a nigger ever wants to shake your hand DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT do it this is another sign of the nigger wanting something! Niggers have large pores and sweat alot although it is a mystery why as they are so lazy. This makes them smell as the shit they are full of comes out of their pores.In a business situation this may be tough if you value your job. The best suggestion I have heard is to wear gloves if you have to do this. Then dispose of the gloves using tongs and also dispose of the tongs. Wash your hand even after this well with great disinfectant soap.

6) When you see wild niglets roaming around as tempting as it is to kick them like a footbal threw the up rights, do not attempt it. Niggers will attack if so. For some reason they neglect their niglets all the time but doing this just gives them a reason to attack. As if the niglet were to die this would affect their means of crack and malt liquor. Basically they would get no welfare.

7) As hard as it is to not laugh at a niggers stupidity this is also not reccomended. Especially when a nigger is in a herd. If you feel an out burst find a corner or a seperate room and then laugh at it. Although laughing at niggers from a passing vehicle is alright most of the time many niggers carry guns (usually stolen) And may shoot! But odds are due to their bad skills at everything just like shooting they will probably miss you. The only problem with that is if they hit an innocent bystandard. So it is best to yell at them if you are ever in a nigger neighbourhood so you can hope they hit another nigger.

8) Finally! Never feed the nigger! A nigger is almost like a stray dog but worse! If you feed it it will keep coming back. And then when it doesn't get away the savagery unleashes and it will become violent.

Coontact Tale #614 (June 18, 2007)

I saw this -- actually cause this, I guess -- in a South Carolina Walmart.

I was in line to check out, and I was behind one of these big colored women, who was much politer and cleaner than many. To keep my stuff separated, I picked up that plastic bar laying there for the purpose and put it between our orders.

The Negress was watching her order come through when the divider bar came across. As the clerk picked it up, the customer said, "I don't know how much dat is; one o' de kids musta got it." The clerk, fighting to keep a straight face, explained to her what it was and that she didn't have to buy it, while yours truly almost laughed himself into a coronary.

Coontact Tale #615 (June 18, 2007)

I took my two nieces to this really nice park with a giant wooden castle-like play area. It's called "Creative Park" and built years ago with many hidden areas within the castle so I make sure to watch the kids at all times. My brother and his wife wanted to spend some time alone so I agreed to babysit. (:

I first drove up and as soon as I opened the car, both girls run out to the castle swing set and I followed behind. There was only two parents with their kids there so everything wasn't crowded at all such as the swing sets, slide, etc. Then the older one wants to climb around the castle so I keep an eye on her as I push the younger one on the swing.

Then this rusty van drove up and a whole fambly of niggers runs over to the park! There was about five or six niglets chimping around the place while the parents had a basket of food at the picnic table. This little boy was trying to go down the slide but the niglet pushed him out of the way and went down itself. When it was the human child's turn, the niglet started climbing up the slide!

I saw another chimp gather up some rocks and began throwing them at another little boy. His sow mother started laughing and cheered him on. Then the child's mother came over to her crying son and picked him up away from the nigger. I had lost sight of my niece so took the little one to go find her.

We found her in a heap by the monkey bars and she said one of the chimps kicked her off as she was climbing on them! She had skinned knees but that was about it. We all decided to leave for ice cream to get away from the niggers.

The youngest said "why are those b***k kids so mean?" and I filled her in on their nigger behavior. My brother's wife is a liberal so probably taught the kids that niggers were humans too. I was glad they got some first hand coontact to derail her teachings. Niggers turn a nice day at the park into a dangerous war zone!

Coontact Tale #616 (June 30, 2007)

Tonight we are going to break new ground, new technology, by presenting our first audio Coontact Tale, we will call this "Captain D's Coontact Tale" sent in from Savannah, Georgia by Preamble-American!

Think of the possibilities audio Coontact Tales present. Download a few hundred if your favorites for playback on a long roadtrip or prepare a special audio CD as a gift for a friend or neighbor!

Audio Part I (Captain D's Niggerfuxation) | Audio Part II (Captain D's Niggerfuxation)

Coontact Tale #617 (July 1, 2007)

Today I shopped at:

Home Depot

And did not see a single nigger ALL DAY LONG! I am not making this up!

I went to the gym, and didn't see any niggers there either! None of them were even playing basketball!

I thought, am I dreaming? Did I go to heaven?

But then, I saw one at the gym! He was wearing an iPod and kept whatever cRap music he was listening to himself. I didn't smell him or hear so much as a peep out of him. He didn't sit there and hog up any machines. He got out of the way when I was headed to the water fountain. He behaved like any normal white human!

All in all, a pretty good day... about as good as you can expect in this day and age I suppose.

You have discovered the best days of shopping are the last two days of the month before welfare money is slipped into their debit account.

Coontact Tale #618 (July 1, 2007)

I fill my cup at the local convience store and the nappy ho behind the counter usually waves me on by. So I get a free Dr P. I noticed she usually acts very friendly. I wonder if she's thinking mocha children with a brain when this happens. Why do those ho's have tattoos all over them? Those names tattooed on their necks...Is that for ID after death in a gang fight or just their name and the owner so we can return them?


To which ThinWhiteLine responded:

This niggress is looking to sweeten it's gene pool. My advice to you is to NEVER EVER go in this store again. You WILL be raped by this animal.

The neck tattoos serve the same function as the ID's tattooed on the inside of my dogs' gums. When they become lost or stolen, they can easily be identified and returned to their rightful owner.

Coontact Tale #619 (July 1, 2007)

I stopped in a store outside Shittsburgh last night because the wife wanted me to get bread and hamburger buns - damn her and being chincy during the weekly grocery run - and I heard some niglets a couple aisles over.

I've heard niglets do this over the years whether it's in Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Chattanooga or wherever when they do this "Whoop! Whoop! Woop-woop!" thing over and over again. It's always in the same key at the same rhythm. Haven't heard it in quite a while since I haven't seen any niglets in quite a few months, but it's something I've noticed with niglets.

Humans in the same aisle whenever they hear it, it's like they shut up and their ears perk up and have a concerned look on their faces.

Must be some inner chimpanzee command that comes from the African Toilet while dancing around fires where the Head Nigger Chimp puts a cut on a niglet's forehead as a sign of adulthood and the niglets start chanting it.

I got the bread and buns and got the hell out of the place.

You guys ever heard niglets do that? Christ, it's irritating. It obviously irritates nearby humans. But then again...go figure, it's niggers. Their only function is to eat, sleep, shit, fuck, irritate and breed.

That "woop-woop" shit that they do must be some noise that our inner human recognizes in our genes from our cave-days as highly irritating, possibly to set off unused defense mechanisms but is still in us where we think, "Uh oh. Wandering nigger tribes nearby. Hide the water and buffalo meat. Grab your spears and set out the leg traps and stab the first nigger you see. Behead it if you must..."



I went in to a local Radio Shack a few times over the years and the manager is this ape. While I'm looking at the junk they have, I kept hearing this ape doing the Woop-woop crap from time to time. I never under stood why it did this until now. Must be the baboon in it coming out.



Coontact Tale #620 (July 1, 2007)

Sprint Nigger Call Center

I remember this Coontact from a few years ago because of a post I read on mobile phones.

About 10 years ago I applied at Sprint as a Customer Service Supervisor. I turned in my resume and did a telephone interview. Sprint's Nashville headquarters is a big call center. I don't know but it may be "the" call center for Sprint for customer service and technical etc...

The boon on the other end of the phone was looking at my resume and sounded very excited at my qualifications (I was over-qualified for that position). The buck-nigger arranged for my interview. I arrived 15 minutes early as is appropriate for most real job interviews. EVERY creature in the place was a shitskin and as I walked through the doors the smell was almost unbearable. The usual blend of over perfumed and cologned dirty smelly sweaty niggers that use cologne and perfume instead of actually taking a bath.

I waited a while and was called back for my interview. I got in to the interview and the nigger there had a strange look on it's monkey face like "I cants believes yous here" ...

Suddenly all the previous phone interview that had gone so well no longer applied and then the bucknigger lied and said I hadn't applied for a Supervisor position at all but only a regular customer service position. Even though the boon had discussed with me over the telephone all the duties and responsibilities of supervisor and had gone over my experience in management , education and qualifications specific to the job.

Before the nigger-beast could do anything I reached across the table and snatched away both the application and my resume which it had scratched marks on attempting to write. On my application, I had clearly written "Customer Service Supervisor" on the application and the nigger had highlighted it. I said "What is this then?" ....the response was of course another lie and the nigger looked nervous "Oh, I must've overlooked that". On my resume the nigger had scratched some letters down and words it must've seen somewhere and there were descriptive words that formed a sentence, "ideal for supervisory position"...the nigger said another lie that he didn't know who wrote that on was in his handwriting because it's notepad was right beside it with the same kind of scratching on it, that it pretended to know certain written words. I said, this wouldn't have anything to do with me being white would it because it's very clear that you are lying to me. He laughed the nigger "embarassed" laugh and said "No, No...hehehe". I said "Funny, but I won't push this because another one of your people would come out and try to calm the situation down so I'll just leave. In the future don't waste people's time."

The real story is that niggers only hire niggers and that as soon as he saw that I was white he knew that none of the shitskins would appreciate hiring a white supervisor to be over them and would have probably had daily chimpouts when I tried to correct them and teach them things like being polite and what not.

Even in Nigger Nashville though Sprint is BY FAR AND WHITE the most nigger infested place I've ever seen. There weren't any whites in there at all except the occasional mud-shark which they kept to service the animals there.

This is all 100% true. I just don't know why I didn't remember it before now. From that point on I knew I would never buy a sprint product.

-Bas Connery

Coontact Tale #621 (July 1, 2007)

Well I am back from my fact finding mission in the Northern woods of Maine. Here are some undisputed facts about Maine. Maine is the most forested state in the nation. Maine has the highest concentration of moose and black bear in the nation. There are 1.3 million people living in Maine, 98% of them are white. Maine is the whitest state in the nation and has the lowest crime rate in the nation. Niggers account for less than 0.7% of Maine's population. There are more moose and bear in Maine than niggers.

You know after about 2 days in the Maine air I was feeling better than ever. I was relaxed and felt no need to vent my trademark anger at anyone. Yeah it's true I was on vacation and not working but I've been on thousands of holidays before and still felt pissed off at the world. After about 6 days it dawned on me what the difference was.

There was a local store where I got my morning coffee, paper and fishing bait. On day six I went there as usual and right there in the parking lot there was an Escalade with New York plates. Now no one drives an Escalade in Maine, no one. Anyway I went about my business when I heard the trademark southern oriented babbling of nigger. Now the dude that ran the store was a nice guy but struck me as the type of dude that owned a lot of guns and had no time for horse shit. So I had to get a ringside seat for what came next.

There in the Maine country store was Homita the water buffalo, and her teenaged son Nabisco replete with bling, an XXXXXL Mets hat and an XXXXXXXL Scarface t-shirt. She was bickering with the store owner about, get this, the price of a bag of Doritos. Mind you it's 7:00 am. Seems homita felt she should get a bigger price reduction on the small bag of breakfast Doritos. The store owner took a sip of his coffee, looked her and her jackass son up and down and in his best Maine accent said; "See here missy. The price marked on the bag is the price you get. If you don't like it you're free to go down the road to Zeke's. Now if you don't mind I have paying customers to attend to."

By this time a line of burley hunters and logger types were lining up for their morning Joe. At this point Homita and her asswipe son were on their way out the door but not without having the gall to ask where Zeke's was. The owner told them, with a smile, to follow the highway for "aways" and that "they couldn't miss it". Then he told them "see ya later", to which they said "no you won't". Homita sped out of the parking lot.

The locals began to chuckle. Seems that Zeke's was 40 miles down the highway and homita in her haste left her credit card on the counter. I was half tempted to hang out for homita's return but I'd seen enough. At that point I realized why I had been so serene for six days: NO NIGGERS!

Look, we have a lot of problems here in this nation but the nigger is the biggest one. Behind virtually every social and cultural problem we have in this country lurks the nigger. From the crime to garish behavior, to the ridiculous clothing and customs all the way down to their fat baboon like asses and their fruit punch, the nigger is ruining this nation.

The problem is niggers plain and simple. Guns aren't killing people. Niggers are killing people. Lack of money does not cause poverty. Niggers cause poverty. We could redistribute all the money in the nation today equally to each person and in 18 months the nigger would be destitute again. So would worthless trust funders like Paris Hilton. Lack of formal education is not the root cause of ignorance. The nigger is the root cause of ignorance. We could provide free access to PhD's for everyone and the nigger would still choose to drop out of school and commit petty crimes and random acts of violence.

You know I'm almost in favor of reparations because it could finally end the litany of excuses as to why the nigger is such a hapless loser. If I were in charge, as I was handing their $1 million checks I would have them sign a waiver saying they were now leaving the plantation for good. No more handouts. No more stop the violence programs. No more midnight basketball, free school lunches, conflict resolution classes, ten point coalitions, Aunt Jemima community centers, corporate shakedowns or blame whitey for this and that. Those checks would represent the end of all hand outs and utter dependence that the nigger has on us. They could succeed or fail on their own merit.

I'll take it one step further. We could stipulate that all reparation receivers must move to Niggerland. Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama could be merged and renamed 'Niggerland' and given to Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton to run. They could even put a put a big NWA sign on their border. I can envision it now. Housing developments and basketball courts as far as the eye can see. My guess is that it would be about a year until the nigger blew the million on Kools, Magnum Malt liquor, shrimp, lap dances, gold grills, rims, sneakers, hoopties and other essentials.

People, this is it. I'm done talking about niggers. I'm officially retired from posting about niggers. I'll continue to post other stuff but nothing directly about niggers. I'm tired of the bullshit and nonsense that comes with these people. As a matter of fact I'm setting a goal for myself to be out of Boston in the next few years for the solitude of the Vermont, New Hampshire or Maine. I don't care if I have to live in a double wide, pump gas for a living and shit in the woods. I'm done with them. After 41 years of their bullshit I'm finally throwing in the towel and I'm just going to pretend they don't exist until I'm somewhere where they don't exist.

Kickin' it wit' my ho,

-- Deeandre' Babydaddy

Coontact Tale #622 (July 1, 2007)

I was driving home and pulled into the neighborhood that's a few blocks from my house. This area has a few black famblies that live here and I usually see them sitting on a chair in their yard watching the cars go by. I figure those niggers don't own a TV set so this is their entertainment.

On the side of the road there was this nigmobile with rims and blasting cRap. This nigger suddenly walks slowly over to the car and gets in the middle of the road even though he sees me coming! I wait a little while that coon is niggerbabblin to his buddy then begin honking my horn so he clears away. The chimp gave me a dirty look and slowly walks back to the other side of the road. Then I see him pumping both his arms, left one then the right one, while looking at me.

I wondered if this is an insult of some kind, I've never seen anyone do it so wouldn't know. I just drove right on by and honked again. Next time I'll just keep driving the next time a nig is in the road if this is the kind of treatment I get for politely honking for them to get the f away

Coontact Tale #623 (July 1, 2007)

In the late 80's (cosby's nigger ass was still stinking up the airwaves), I was service manager for two computer stores in the St. Louis area (let's call it PCLAND). One morning when I got to work, I noticed all these boot-lips marching around the front of the place with signs. As I walked toward the entrance, many of these animals came toward me and began mumbling ebonics at me. The closer I got to the door, most of them started YELLING at me 'don bi no shi heer' while others started singing the #1 white guilt hit "We Shall Overcome". When I got through the door, the worried owner informed me that the shitskins were pissed because we did not hire any niggers at either of our locations. These fucking coons hooted and hollared for a couple hours, then the TV crew showed up. You would have thought that we had killed the boons' babies by the way they acted for the TV cameras!

When the TV cameras left, so did they. They did their job and we were hiring a buggedy boot-lip worthless fucking nigger.

The niggers (with the owners' consent) decided that he would be in the service dept (remember I'm the service manager) and promptly sent several resume's for us to go over. After a politically correct 'hire-the-nigger-fast' interviewing process, we hired the 'best' one.

This was the beginning of the end for me at 'PCLAND'. I was overseeing 4 techs at the time and had to fire one to hire this boot-lip. He was a good man and a hard worker, but since he was young/single /low man on the totum pole, he got the boot and the nigger got the job. I had to fire him myself, and that sucked, the owner didn't have the balls. He said he understood, but that didn't help anybody.

That nigger sucked fucking ass. I kept him in the service dept at our main location so I could keep an eye on him, but he would continually fuck up in one way or the other. Most of the time it was out of pure lazyness and unwillingness to work. After the first week, he would call in at least 2 times a week about why he's late/can't show up/etc. Finally, I only had him doing the shipping (UPS) and picking up/delivering systems from the darkest depths of the great city of St. Louis (was MY job - I had balls at a young age). But he even fucked that up and we had to fire him. I loved firing his useless nigger ass and remember it like it was yesterday.

We still had a problem. No, not that I was down a tech! We still needed to get ANOTHER SHITSKIN! FUCK! We went through 2 more with different (but more of the same) results before I came up with a brainstorm.

Niggers = Minority
Women = Minority

I put my plan out to the owner and we started interviewing woman immediately. We hired a nice qualified white woman for the job and she was a joy to work with compared to the lazy niggers I had to deal with. Best part was, the niggers couldn't say shit because we hired a MINORITY!


Bad Part: I had to get the computers myself from niggertowns in the area from then on out, still better than working with them!

Coontact Tale #624 (July 1, 2007)

TNB at McDonald's Drive Thru

For whatever reason i felt like ingesting some grease this evening so I stopped by McDonalds on the way home.

Pull up to the drive through and 2 niggers are there to collect payment. I hear the male nigger say to the negress:

"What yo problem, you a lesbian or sumin?"
Negress: says to me - "Three niney nine."

I hand her my payment but she is busy talking to the other nigger.

Male nigger: "You ain't purty enough to be a bitch"
Negress: "Leave me alone or I stick this broom up yo ass"
Nigger: "sheeeeyut", then he punches her in the butt as she turns her back to him.

Negress: turns to me "You pull up for reciept."

Haha, 2 minutes at her window, and nothing but TNB and "muh dik".

The nigger mating habits are quite an interesting phenomena in the animal kingdom.


Coontact Tale #625 (July 1, 2007)

Nigger names. The untold story.

Niggers and how they name their litters has always been a great source of entertainment for me. A few months ago, a friend was telling me about a recess at a local chimp skuuuuuuuu. He thought these things were 8 or 9.

One of the baby sows was chimping out and the nigger teachers were yelling at it. Contrary, gets back in line and behabe. He thought it was his immagination, but alas, this chimp had been named Contrary.

Years ago, I worked in an office with this older lady from W. Virginia. Really nice person. This was at the time when niggers were beginning to name chilren after fabrics. Don't remember the spelling, but a bunch of these little primates were being named quianna - Dat be pollyester.

Ths older lady and I were laughing our asses off about a couple of these names. She starts telling me that when she was a little younger, in West, by God, Virginia, the nigger name "thing" was epidemic.

She said that hospital employees had to guard against telling niggers what was wrong with them because they were naming their little spooks after the fucking disease.

I wants you to meet my daughter Diabetes Or here be my boy, Clap.

If dey liked the "ring" of their ailment, it was sure to find it's way on a birff certificate.

Gawd, those conversations used to double me up

-I Lubs Bakkaball

Coontact Tale #626 (July 1, 2007)

Early Coontact

In 7th grade I had a homeroom nigger teacher who tried to come off as intelligent. One day she gave us forms to fill out for something and she said we need to get our parents to put they ee-nish-u-ahs on the bottom of it. This class only had about 4 niggers out of 32 bodies, and none of the white kids knew what the hell she was talking about. A guy about three seats in front of me asked her what that meant. She said ee-nish-u-ahs is the first letta off of each of they names. Oh! initials, I thought. Stupid nigger, words are for humans! Another time she was playing piano for us (she was also the music teacher). I went home and was telling my parents about how she wasn't all that bad. My dad said she's still a nigger. Ask her if she's ever eaten chitlins, and he laughed. In my naivete, I went to school the next day and asked her if she had ever eaten chitlins! You should have seen the look on her face but she said yes she had! Yet another story was the time she got onto one of the boys in class who didn't have his homework and told him he should be doing his homework instead of coating. Once again we had no idea WTH she was talking about until the context made it clear that she was talking about "courting".

Just too humorous!!

Coontact Tale #627 (July 1, 2007)

Yesterday I went to the mall with my girlfriend but ended up getting suckored into shopping with her in the stores she likes. It wasn't very crowded that day even though it was a Sunday and all. I waited outside the dressing room in a fold up metal chair as she went in to try on a stack of clothes.

Suddenly this fambly of coons showed up with a sheboon and her three niglets. The male looked like he was about five or six and was going apeshit on the clothing racks by hanging on them. He knocked down several shirts onto the carpeted floor then had the nerve to jump down right on them with his dirty shoes! The sow didn't utter any discipline at all but "kee keee keee!". I didn't think any clothes here could fit such a fat sheboon so didn't know why it was here!

She axed for the saleswoman to come ova to her to give her a dressing room. Then she took the three niglets in with her. Five minutes went by until my girl comes running out of the dressing room in only the shirt she was trying on. "Oh my god... this niglet shoved his head under and peeked at me in my panties!" I then heard a chimpout coming from the dressing room as the sheboon stormed out "Whatya mean a piglet?! Areya bein raysist to mah chyl??" My girlfriend ran back into her dressing room in a huff then changed back into her clothes quickly then got back out. I never seen her dress so fast in my life!

I said to the sheboon "Control your fucking niglet next time, that's right NIGLET, not piglet!" The boon's jaw dropped open and eye bulged out but didn't say anything or do anything. We both then left immediately to go to another store far from this animal fambly.

We both had a good laugh after she calmed down and I said "Those niggers sure like to oogle the white wimmenz at a young age!"

Coontact Tale #628 (July 1, 2007)

I have a 15 month old Saint Bernard. He's about 165lbs. Sweetest dog you'll ever meet, unless you're an ape. You see, I noticed awhile back that he REALLY does not like apes. (Can you blame him?) I never even had to teach him about skurring those yard-apes...I was so proud.

Anyhow, last night, about 11:30 PM I'm taking him out and low and comes a nig-nog walking my way. He's about 1 block up and already I can hear him try to communicate with me, "Doos yoos has a light?" (While doing this he raises his monkey arms mimicking lighting a cig) as SOON as he does this, my St goes APE-SHIT! ..I was wearing sandals and he takes off, dragging me out of my sandals..(I'm a little over 200Lbs) and proceeds to try and get him a bite of some gorilla meat. He dragged me about 30 ft! That nigger took off faster than if the doors opened up at a KFC!!! LOL!!!

Coontact Tale #629 (July 1, 2007)

This is an old Coontact Tale where things are at a standstill and probably will turn out to be nothing.

This is yet another a third person account Coontact Tale about those goddamned despicable pesky Buckeye special niggers. I'm going to familiarize you with my sister in law and Irreparable Inherent Buckeye Stupidity first in a friendly way just so you get the picture.

Read on.

Cincinnati, Ohio or "Special Nigger Ground Zero" - which is where my sister-in-law has moved to in order to get a good education at the University of Cincinnati and acquired a job at the local Children's Hospital.

I have three sister-in-laws, no brother in laws, all in their early 20's. I have to tell you, it sucks visiting the wife's family sometimes, waking up Saturday morning and seeing three women 20-somethings getting around the kitchen table for breakfast wearing nothing but....aww, hell, you get the picture.

Anyway, this sis-in-law is my favorite. She always calls me with her troubles, trial and errors with guys and loves to chatter. Very nice, a little naive, but overall, a good person. And I will say, she is one firecracker, folks.

Kind of pisses me off when I hear how dumber-than-a-box-of-shit these guys down in Cincinnati are. But I lived there for a year in 2001 during the Cincinnati Nigger Riots and it is true what some who are familiar with Cincinnati claim the place to be like - the whole damned town's, population and all, has got some serious shit for brains where their world's end at the border of their own zip codes.

Let's call her "Amy".

At any rate, Amy acquired a job at the children's hospital in Cincinnati over the winter where she takes care of lab tests, gets the data, gives the data to the doctor and, as usual, doctor gets his or her shining credit in the process.

She's forced to work with two she-boons, who do nothing but gab on the phone and must have, even though it's turned off, those wormy looking alien earpieces in their know, just in case Don Rumsfeld and Janet Reno get together to work out something and need to consult a pair of she boons because niggers are so smart, right?

The she-boons are always late, always leave early, always have some reason to leave in the middle of the day - typical workplace monkey shines.

Amy's supervisor is delighted by her productivity and Amy gets a quick small raise per hour after a couple of months and more hours per week. Due to the nigger she-boons barely producing anything other than the bare minimum, nigger stink, five-mile-long-fingernail tap noises on countertops and laughing like hyenas every two seconds, she has had to ask them to help her with a few things in which her supervisor authorized get done that's been put off for quite a while.

Nigger she-boons with "sayn-ror-uh-tee" don't like this. New pretty thin white hunkee telling two American Chimpanzees what to do! God forbid, right? New hunkee girl must think she's the plantation overseer or something


Nigger sows start making their excuses in monkey fashion - talking at the same time, making excuses out the ass, claiming they're "too busy" and they've got to "do this" and all that shit. Basic TNB. One of them, according to Amy, acted like it was getting close to hitting her. Not raising a hand, but doing the typical agitated nigger look of a gorilla that's pissed off someone wandered into his monkey house. You know the look.

A few weeks later, things start going missing in the lab - pipettes, trays, gloves...standard lab shit. Miracuously, they're "running out" of whatever although incoming work hasn't changed at all compared to previously. Amy orders more stuff, thinking that maybe other lab assholes are coming in and stealing the stuff. How in the world they're getting in their without any keys to the lab is a mystery.

She calls her father just in ordinary conversation and he asks, "Work with any niggers? It's probably them taking it and selling it to God knows what".

More things go missing, this time it's some small electronic doo-dad that costs an arm and a leg. Now the head doctor's pissed off. Someone's obviously stealing things.

Doctor asks all three if they have seen anyone doing anything suspicious, and of course, the niggers don't know anything and Amy doesn't know of anything. All she knows is that things are going missing and she's the one reporting it.

She goes up to the administrator, another affie nigger she-boon, and lets her know about it due to the extra purchase orders she's being given. Doctors never let their admins know a damned thing - this I know for fact. Most of them are either highly secretive due to paranoia from other competing doctors or their brain gears are usually turning to much to have it come to mind in order to mention it.

Nigger she-boons tip off the nigger admin that Amy's taking the stuff that's going missing because "nothing ever went missing until Amy came to work here". Nigger admin puts a bug in the ear of one of the doctor's underlings who's probably some jackass liberal type from some rich family of other doctors who aren't that familiar with coontact. Underling tells Doctor that Amy's the culprit of the missing items. Doctor fires Amy without question, lays claim that there's been a "major budget cut", but the written form she signed she claims said something that looked more along the lines of "possible theft" or "suspicion of theft" or something like that.

If I had the luxury of talking to her before hand, I have told her not to sign a goddamned thing, but hey...firings aren't something you can prepare for. The whole point of firing is to drop the bomb and send the unlucky fellow packing ASAFP.

Amy calls up my wife on a Sunday crying like a baby, claiming she doesn't understand what the hell happened. Amy has trouble asking my wife for ten bucks, much less taking anything for her own disposal.

Wife tells me the situation.

"Sounds like she got hammyted", was my response. "Your dad told me she works with a couple of nigger bitches"

"Hammyted" is work-speak for whenever niggers pull off some scheme to smear or character assassinate a human co-worker in order to get the human off the workforce because the human's productivity is making the niggers look bad. Supervisors tend to not want any nigger-troubles so instead of properly investigating and delegating the authority properly by canning the probable-culprit niggers, they back down for a quick-fix-it, get the human out of there to keep the monkeys from throwing feces in fifty directions and calling nigger loving lawyers which cause a serious ruckus.

So far, Children's Hospital hasn't filed any charges because they don't have "true evidence" that Amy had taken anything, but still, Amy was shitting down her leg because she fears having something pop up on a record and she can't put Children's down as a past work place, so she's kind of screwed. She knows nothing about how thing apply to criminal or work records, so naturally, she's shitting bricks in fear.

I told Amy at the time to contact an attorney; not to file a wrongful termination suit exactly, but put a bug in his ear just in case these nigger sows get feisty and the doctor who doesn't want any nigger-troubles goes along with it and something possibly gets filed against Amy. Sometimes niggers, especially fat lazy nigger sows, all of a sudden get an inspiring hair up the ass to keep the ball rolling instead of forgetting about the incident and being happy with the result of their sinister nigger-complisments.

Story still pending...will follow up if I hear anything, which I probably won't.


Coontact Tale #630 (July 1, 2007)

Yesterday my girlfriend (who is European White from Poland and not used to niggers) was driving home on the 405 N when she was cut off by a car with a nigger ho driving with her ape boyfriend sitting passenger. She honked at them and they proceeded to follow her honking and flipping her off saying they were going to "kill her white ass". They finally gave up because she was ignoring them (like a civilized person) and left her alone. God Damn Niggers

Coontact Tale #631 (July 1, 2007)

When I came home today the power was out in my neighborhood, so we decided to go out and eat. We drove to the nearest whiter neighborhood (which is still about 50/50) and went to Captain D's. Nearly all the customers in the restaurant were white with the exception of the niggers in front of us. About 6 of them. The head negress was placing the order and appeared to have already been there a while, thank goodness, and it was down to her own order. She gots a combo but she say she don't want no coleslaw can she serbsitoot sumpin else. The niggerette behind the counter (Tererria, no shit) said sho, and we'reeeeee offff! Boonette looks at the menu for about 5 minute with people backing up behind us towards the door and finally she say can I get the okrie? Tererria say sho, so you want the okra? "Yeah" she says "and a baked potata". Ok says Tererria, you can only get one or the other, so you want a baked potato? Yeah and okrie. But you can only substitute one item for one item so which do you want? She says, "Cain't I get both?"

By this time I'm almost ready to say something except the person with me is poking me to tell me to just keep quiet.

Finally the niggress and Tererria (gotta love that name) come to the agreement that the dumbass nigger just can't understand the concept of substitution so Tererria just says do she want french fries and a baked potato, and finally finally the dumbass nigger says in a very frustrated way, "yeah, just go ahead and do that".

Thank God, I say to myself. But its not over, because then D.A.N. brings out the freaking coupon and another bout of miscommunication ensues.

By the time I get my food, my stomach is tied up in those knots you get when you sincerely want to stomp the shit out of somebody but aren't allowed to. So the greasy fish which isn't all that good anyway, was especially not good.

Then, karma must be punishing me, another nigger pair walks in and orders some greasy shit to go, but it takes forever to get ready so we have to listen to the niggerbabble the whole time we are trying to eat.

Finally, we get out of Captain D's and I need gas so I stop at a station down the road and start to pull in to get gas and Sista Boo jumps in front of me and stops at the first set of pumps instead of pulling through. I go to another pump and get gas and go home, where I pull in the alley and find three niglet girls playing in the alley throwing rocks at shit in people's yards.

What a stressful day.

If only we were allowed to treat them the way they so deserve to be treated

Coontact Tale #632 (July 1, 2007)

It seems everywhere I go I run into TNB!

I went to CVS to buy a few items and then got in line behind an ancient sheboon. She wanted this special kind of ice cream that was on one of her many coonpons she was using. The cashier said they don't carry that kind so she had a massive chimpout, holding up the line for ten minutes. The cashier called in more workers to open up cashiers so this white woman opens the one near me. I take a step back quickly so I can get up there before everyone else, I was second in line after all. This buck is suddenly there!

So now here I am waiting for this nigger to get checked out. He axed the cashier for "nicky patches" and somehow she knows what he means. "Are you trying to quit ciggarettes, sir?" she asks him. He says "Quit?! I aint no quitta! I'm an addict! There is a difference. I never quit nothin', never nothin'. Ima finisher!"

I'm laughing my ass off but muffle my laugher under my hand. Then the nigger says "Gimmee a packit of KOOLs too!" I'm not kidding, he axed for those! Then the cashier said "You want cigarettes AND these nicotine patches? They are for quitting cigarettes" and the buck say "Like I told ya, Ima an addict not a quitter!" He paid wadded up cash, which he probably got from pandhandling, and left.

I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer so stood still and let out a snort. Suddenly this teenage boon gets right in front of me in line but the cashier said "No, he is next. You have to wait your turn. He been waiting a long time!" I smiled at the cashier and pushed by the sheboon to pay.

-coonskin cap

Coontact Tale #633 (July 1, 2007)

last week, i returned home to Miami from Sao Paulo, Brazil.

i needed to take a cab from the airport to the trirail station down the street. this is short trip of maybe a mile or so from the airport. at MIA, there are these blue taxis at the airport that are designated to take people to the trirail station. it was early in the morning and for whatever reason there were no blue cabs around, only the standard yellow cabs.

so i stood in line waiting for a yellow cab. when i got to the front of the line, up comes the next cab drivin by jigaboo Cornelius. when i told Cornelius to take me the the trirail, he started chimping out, besically refusing to take me.

the white cop who was running the taxi line told the coon that there were no blue taxis around, and that he had to take me to the trirail station whether he wanted to or not.

Cornelius to cop: "find him a blue cab, mayun!"
cop: "there are no blue cabs available, so you HAVE to take him."
Cornelius: "awwww. sheeeit mayun. thats not fair!"

so this guy ended up having to drive me to the Trirail.

you expect negroes to have an attitude and to not want to do their work. but this really pissed me off.

this gutter-ape had the gaul to try to refuse me service. very rude and unprofessional.

Coontact Tale #634 (July 1, 2007)

This is a minor coontact tale but funny if you can visualize it. When I was on active duty my unit was overseas in a hostile land. Any combat vet can tell you what combat is actually like, unpredictable but usually hours of boredom suddenly interrupted by lightning quick action and sheer terror. No war story here, just trying to set the scene. One of the down moments, we were laying around the hooch. Hot as hell, nothing going on, no sandbags to fill, just sitting idle. "Leroy" was listening to his walkman and writing a letter. He was singing along I asked him a couple times to tone it down. This was his usual routine, he was always bragging about his girl. Occasionally he'd stop and blurt out a question. One was "How do you spell 'jeopardy?'" Two other nigger idiots were trying to assist with varying ways of spelling. I set him straight and chuckled to myself. A few seconds later he axed how to spell "pregnant." I wondered what the letter said that jeopardy and pregnant were in the same sentence. I quickly replied "P-I-G-R-A-N-T." He started writing when a thought came over "Jamal" and he blurted out, "Ain't no damn I in pregnant!" Well, Leroy got the right spelling from a debate and I went to take a leak. My fun was ruined, I was hoping he'd mail the letter home making reference to his girl being pigrant. She likely wouldn't have noticed anyway.

Coontact Tale #635 (July 1, 2007)

I hope that I'm posting this in the correct place. I ride my motorcycle frequently here in the mountains of East Tennessee, specifically a place called "The Tail of the Dragon" It is 318 curves in 11 miles. Now I usually go at daybreak on Saturday or Sunday to avoid the cops and the crowds. I left out about 5:45 am on 6/9 and proceeded across the Dragon and made my stop at a very peaceful and quiet lake. After about an hour at the lake I head back across the Dragon and I'm haulin' ass. (gankin' & bankin', dragging the knee, leaning off the seat having a blast) Well, I'm zipping along and I come upon another rider and have to slow down. Turns out it was this too fat nigger on a modified Kawasaki Ninja (had a very long swing arm on the back), the kind that you would use if you were straight line racing. (drag racing) Whenever you do this to a motorcycle you basically have very bad handling, it pushes the bike through the turns. Nigger looks over his shoulder sees me, I'm guessing that he's thinking...sheeet I'll show dat kracuh muddafuckuh and proceeds to increase speed. I thought this nigger is gonna bite it, so I get right behind the nigger just let him know who the "Massa of the Dragon" is going to be on this day. Now I could've passed this stupid shitskin at will but, what Niggermaniac could pass up the opportunity to fuck with a nigger? Now I know this road very well and we are coming up a descending radius curve to the right. I blip the throttle and proceed to down shift, blip, down shift. Nigger proceeds to accelerate away and gets out of sight for a split second, I'm turning into curve just in time to see the back of the niggers motorcycle going off the left side of the road and down an embankment. I slowed... took a look... didn't see the bike but saw the nigger laying on the ground holding his right leg. I thought, "stupid nigger". I then go on my way thinking that nigger is gonna have a very painful and long walk out of here. I was so thrilled at seeing such a sight that once I got out of the twisties and onto the straight-away, I did a masterful 1/4 mile long wheelie, if I do say so myself!!!


Coontact Tale #636 (July 1, 2007)

GD fucking freeloading niggers !

I just got back from a timeshare I own in Orlando, FL (Westgate Vacation Villas). These assholes have put deals out there to entice potential buyers to come down for a week for only $219, and give discount Disney tickets to boot. Fucking niggers all over the place. They have no money nor credit, and invade all of the free activities in the resort. The fucking pool had a layer of oil so thick that I didn't even bother to dip one toe into it. They are a fucking menace to any decent place. I wish we would give them a state or two to fucking destroy, and not let their dumb asses out.

Coontact Tale #637 (July 1, 2007)

The Special Buckeye Nigger Coontact Never Ends - Geauga Lake

A customer client who's wife works for the "Cleveland Clinic" in an area called "Solon" invited me and the wife to this amusement park called "Geauga Lake". Supposedly, his wife had a free day to go to the park so we went.

Now this "clinic" is supposed to have the creme de la creme of researchers and doctors working for them. I didn't expect everyone to be quiet and more of the uppity conceited doctor stereotype; mostly there to bring their children along and let them run around on the kid rides. I just wanted to ride on some roller coasters for the hell of it.

We get there and it's NIGGERS GALORE. Niggers were EVERYWHERE. I guess what happened was some affirmative action niggers work for the Cleveland Clinic and they decided to bring their whole fambly monkey trees along with their nigger buck's latest sows to the park. Niggers are legendary for doing that kind of thing - can't just bring along one or two extra chimps; they've got to bring every nigger in a half mile radius, pile 20 of them up in a mini-van and haul their mile wide gorilla asses to the amusement park.

I hadn't been to an amusement park in years, but I figured it would be something to visit as one of those silly childhood things. I'd never do it again; not just because of the niggers but it's just not my thing anymore. It's amazing what association from years ago will bring the reality of adding years to yourself will make you think in certain situations.

Anyway, back to the nigger monkeys.

Right away from the sight of probably 40% niggers everywhere, my relatively okay mood sank into downright crabby territory. We walked around looking at things, trying to dodge all the niggers standing around who weren't watching where they're going. Niggers have horrible peripheral vision. You'd think they would being chased by lions and such, but knowing how stupid they are, you know that their pseudo-human attributes barely work worth a shit.

There were nigger bucks smoking those small cigars in line, stinking up the place with their already nasty moult stink. Half of them were covered in tattoos - the next tattoo I see on a nigger or whoever is going to make me puke; way overdone fad. There was one line that was starting at a roller coaster where it was obvious that the four of us were going to be stuck behind a serious pack of nigger bucks and sows. I could smell their high perfume/greasy moult/rotten cigar combination as they passed. I grabbed the wife's arm - something I never do - and stopped her, then stopped my buddy and his wife stopped while this pack of about 20 very loud monkey chattering nigger chimps passed us to get in line.

"What are you doing?", asked the wife.
"I don't want to be stuck behind those apes", I said.
"What apes?", asked my buddy's wife.
"He doesn't like certain people", said my buddy to his wife.
"Sounds like someone's making a big deal out of nothing", said my buddy's wife.
"Nah, those idiots stunk. I wouldn't want to be stuck behind them either", said my wife.
"Everyone stinks today. The sun's beating down", said my buddy's wife.
"Let's just go. There's quite a few people (humans) in between them and us now", said my buddy.
"That was the idea", I said.

As you'd suspect, the nigger pack can't stay in line. One's trying to get ahead of the other, new stray niggers are cutting past humans in line to get into this nigger pack ten minutes after the line's intact each one saying "Scooz me. Scooz me" while passing Goddamned niggers.

Probably about five cycles of the coasters coming through to drop people off and have others waiting in line get on, the nigger pack gets volatile and a few start chimping and bongo beating. It's what you'd expect...all chuttling and ooga-booga'ing at the same time, pushing into humans, so on and so forth.

One of the coasters full of coaster-cars pulls up and some fat nigger sow has thrown up in one of them, causing the line to wait longer while humans hose off the nigger chunger off with chemicals, rubber gloves and serious caution being that they don't have their radiation suits on. This really gets the nigger pack in line going. I don't have to describe them any further. You know the drill and what they were doing; TNB.

"Jesus, what a bunch of assholes", said my buddy referring to the nigger pack.
"Told you so. Am I a big jackass now for not wanting to be near them?", I asked.

One in the nigger pack starts spitting at another. The spat on boon takes it's small cigar and tries to burn (brand) another nigger buck.

"Shit, let's get out of here. F**k this noise", I said.
"We just waited in line all the time", said my buddy's wife.
"No, let's just go. There's others who are going to jump in and start trouble", said my buddy.
"They do that", said my wife.
"You can't just judge people by stupid kids acting up", said my buddy's wife.
"Alright, fine. We'll just let these idiots go through", I said sighing.

Finally, a pack of 40-something humans simply "appeared". They were obviously park employees, some dressed as such and others in regular clothes where they were fixing to quell the chimp out and making threats to kick them out.

"I didn't doo nuffin. We juss playin' round. We paid our money to get in here. We ain't doin' nuffin", babbling came out of the pack of niggers. Regular nigger-scuses; the standards.

Soon as the humans quelled the chimp pack, the niggers did exactly what you expected them to do.

"White muh'fuggaz tellin' me what I can and can't do. I'd like to see dat one white muh'fugga say sum'um in muh nay-buh-hood. Dat's right. Yeah, you know me. I bust dem muh'fuggaz head. Haha! You know me. Every'wun know me yo", starts one of the nigger bucks


"Alright, f**k this. Let's just go", said my buddy.
"But we waited in this line to ride", said his wife.
"I don't give a shit! We're going!", said my buddy.
"Thank god", I spoke at a low volume to my wife.
"Yeah. No shit", said my wife.

We got out of the line, found some alternate stairs that went to the bottom and out some unused exit and headed back out into the main walkway where everyone was walking around.

HUGE mess of niggers standing in the middle of everyone passing, monkey chattering with each other, screwing around with their chirrens, walking backwards into humans almost knocking them over. My buddy's wife was sort of slowly walking.

"You wanna pick it up a little?", my buddy said to his wife.
"What's the big hurry? We only got here an hour ago", she said.
"I don't care. We're leaving", he said.

I think his wife was upset that she didn't get to hang out and meet up with some co-workers of hers later or she was upset that the three of us weren't going to hang around all the monkey shines that seemed to appear at every imaginable direction.

"Sprog, why don't you like nigger people?", asked my buddy's wife.
"Honey, don't start', said my buddy.
"I'm just asking. I work with many and they're nice people", she said.

I decided to be diplomatic and friendly. After all, his wife invited us and probably didn't expect these monkey shines. None of us did. This area the place was in was known to be nigger free as far as the area went.

"I know you invited us and I'm thankful. But it's obvious that because of the discount everyone and their dog showed up along with their stupid children so let's just chalk it up to a bad experience", I said.
"You mean stupid niggers", she said.
"I don't mean anything. Everyone brought their stupid kids", I said.
"So you think that most people are stupid and their kids are stupid", she said.
"By and large? Yes. That goes for 80% of the population as a whole", I replied.
"I just don't understand that kind of thinking", she said.
"Sorry you don't approve", I replied, hoping that would shut her gullible self up.

It was relatively quiet on the almost an hour long ride home. I could tell my buddy's wife was pissed off at me. I didn't care. If she wants to fantasize those babboons are human, fine. After all, she was just another country bumpkin that never grew up or lived around niggers who worked hard and got a good paying job in the Cleveland suburbs. She'll probably find out soon enough after working around enough Affie niggers for a few years.

Me and my wife got back home and then my wife started in on how she didn't like my buddy's wife.

"She seems like a friggin' idiot", she said.
"She just doesn't know any better. Don't worry about it", I said.
"She was trying to nail you with that politically correct bullshit", she said.
"Yeah, I know. We won't go anywhere with them anytime soon again", I said.
"Christ, every time I see niggers in a group, they get worse", she said.
"That's pretty much how it goes. Now you know why I don't like the monkey bastards. Friggin' buckeye niggers", I said.
"We need to stop going over there. It's like the state is one big Pittsburgh", she said.
"Basically,yeah. Good idea. Next time someone asks for us to go over to Ohio with them for social stuff, just pass on it. If I don't catch on right away, just make up something and tug my shirt or something to signal it or whatever", I said.

After all that coontact, I was too tired to share it on Niggermania. It was fresh in my mind and I was inspired to do so, but when you've seen niggers at a massive level that are way too close for your own good, it becomes very exhausting where all you want to do is lay down on the floor, pop a movie in, eat some fast dinner and lay around some more. Coontact is purely exhausting.


Coontact Tale #636 (July 1, 2007)

Ok, so phone's just rang, and I thought this is strange, seeing as I've already had my weekly chat with my folks.

I have caller id, and I don't recognise the number, its a mobile number. I pick it up and say hello and I hear a distinct africoon sheboon voice mumble some niggerbabble. So I reply 'are you a nigger?' Sheboon answers 'uh yeah' So I say 'did you just say that you are a nigger?' I hear more incomprehensible niggerbabble. So just to bring the point home, I say once more, 'oh so you ARE a nigger!' More niggerbabble. I don't think it had any idea what I was on about. Then I hear something that sounds like 'ummanigga'. By this time I'm laughing so hard that I have to hang up

This was just about 10 minutes ago, and the sheboon's number is still saved on my phone. I might give it a call later after I've had a few more drinks...


Coontact Tale #637 (July 1, 2007)

Seeing things in black and pun intended

I remember a nigger female in a class I had once told me that there are only two types of women--big women and skinny women. I thought about this for a moment and said, "I don't think that all people can fit into those two extremes. I don't think it is right to put someone like Renee Zellweger in the same class as someone like Roseanne before the weight loss or Rosie O'Donnell".

She said "dez all big to me...just like Donisha (a 289 sheboon) and Tyeshia (a sheboon who was mildly plump IMO)... dez all big to me".

I had another sheboon who was continually calling me tall even though she's only 2 inches shorter than me and described herself as short. 2 inches is not the differences between short and tall, perhaps medium height and tall but not to those two extremes.

Niggers only see things in black in white. They don't possess the sense to see the whole picture and the different facets of things. They only see things as one way or the other. I am not surprised because I know that niggers are niggers. This is just another example of how their brains are not as developed as the human brain. We just don't see things in the same way.

Coontact Tale #638 (July 1, 2007)

I was driving through Milpitas (right next to San Jose) when I came across a bunch of high school kids waving signs for their car wash. suddenly this little 16 or so year old bucklet jumps off the curb and hits my van with his sign. I yelled "you stupid little nigger, I could have taken off your arm!" he said "nigger? yur mothaz a nigger!" I did'nt want an situation with a minor so I drove on. Man they start off stupid.

Coontact Tale #639 (July 1, 2007)

I've just received an invitation from NIGGERS!!!


Dear xxxx

I extend a warm invitation to you to join us at AFRICA DAY
Refreshments provided (yeah, fried chickin, waddymelon and Colt 45 probably)
Entertainment: Africoon Drumming and Dance
Africoon Costume
Africoon Arts and Crafts
Africoon Storytelling (we bin Egyptun an shit)

This would be a great opportunity to meet us, and you are welcome to wear your Africoon attire if you have any

Community Housing Group

Now, my area is heavily niggerfuxated so they have probably sent one to every household. But I am really tempted to turn up as an ambassador for Niggermania, I could take some great pics

I don't have anything better to do on that this space

Coontact Tale #640 (July 1, 2007)

Another day in Niggertown

I went out shopping in Niggertown Retail Park today, I was tired and didn't fancy a long drive and I just had to buy a few things and get something to eat.

So there's this shop called Lidl which sells very cheap groceries. Trouble is, that it attracts the niggers like a magnet, so I met my husband first as I didn't want to go there by myself. He works half days on Thursdays and Fridays, so we decided to have a snack before we did our shopping as he hadn't had any lunch either. Only problem is that Niggertown Retail Park its only a choice between Nigger King or KFC. We decided on the lesser of two evils, and went to Nigger King, besides they do some fairly nice healthy baguettes.

I had to go to the bathroom and as soon as I got in, I could tell that sheboons had been in there as it was a really disgusting mess. There was only one cubicle that could be used, all the others had nigger mess and shit all over the place. So another woman complained to the human manager about the state of the toilets, and he calls this fat sheboon who waddles up slowly and tells her to go and sort the bathrooms out. I see her slowly make her way in, still wearing the same plastic gloves that she has been using to clean the tables. She is not even there for two seconds and she's out again. I didn't go back in the loo because I didn't want to be faced by that disgusting spectacle of nigger feces all over the place, but there was no way on earth that she had sorted out that mess so quick. She is still wearing the same gloves when she comes out and carries on clearing the tables.

That does it for us. Both hubby and I have lost our appetite at this point. We go and cancel our order - while we are doing this, a sheboon in an Africoon nigger dress walks in off the street, steals one of the cardboard gold crowns they have for kids parties, puts it on her head and walks off again. I nearly choke with laughter - she must have thought she was an Africoon queen.

We go to buy our groceries and its the usual niggery stuff. Sheboons arguing over the groceries, another one having a chimpout on her mobile phone with some buck and two struggling to take a trolley to the bus stop and load their groceries on it. Another day of tnb in Niggertown.

Oh and Lidl is now selling MAPLE BACON . They must have realised their is a market for it.

Coontact Tale #641 (July 1, 2007)

First Experience Working With A Nigger...Sort of

I have read many of your work coontact tales and have never got to have one of my own and prayed I never would but that all changed today!

Today was a funny day I am still laughing about it. Every Thursday I go to my local pub at 6:30 am to do their beer order. Basically I take the kegs down the stairs which are fucking heavy as hell. Count all the beer and put it in the cooler. My friends uncles own the place so I know the owners really well and I try to time it so I finish at 10 am the legal time to serve booze here It is a win win situation for them they give me $50 cash for it and then I spend it all back in the pub

There are 3 trucks that come and are usually timed great but today I knew one was going to be late as the regular driver was on holidays. After I got done the first 2 trucks I went outside and read the paper waiting for the last one. The truck was late and I thought no big deal then I finally heard it coming in the alley way where I take the beer in. It took this truck numerous times to get in this big alley way. It is a semi and I just thought it was a new driver and didn't think much of it. Then when the truck pulled up to where the beer gets dumpes which is pretty straight forward a guy jumped out and told the driver to stop. But the truck kept going back and forth numerous times. The helper that got out in the passanger seat (Human) told me "This guy is a fucking idiot" So I laughed and said he must be new.

Then after a long time of the truck moving back and forth a nigger comes out! Which any idiot could figure out that it is not on a dock it doesn't matter where you park just dump the skids I give you the cheque and then you leave. Yes a nigger was driving a semi truck on the roads we and our loved ones drive on. On these beer trucks they have those power jacks to move the shit frim the box to the ground which I know many of you know anyway. A shit load of the beer got broken like the cases of bottles. And to make it even funnier When nigger took the kegs off the truck 4 of them fell off of the double stacked skid and started rolling down the alley which is on a slope and the nigger started running after them. I had to go in the doorway to contain my laughter. I wish I had a camera this would of been the Niggermania video of the year!

So it sucked because I couldn't have a beer till 11 due to the chimp! When I did sit down and have one I was talking with a friend in there and he asked "why are you late?" I said a nigger was.... and he basically stopped me in my tracks and said a nigger was working with you! He started laughing. He told me a story of a nigger traffic controler when they do construction and they have the flaggers on the road. He said as he was approaching a slow zone he was driving slow. Then the nigger had the sign facing him as slow and started basically pumping it towards him. He said he thought what the fuck I am going slow then the nigger banged its paw on his hood. Then finally the nigger realized that the stop sign has to be the other way.

That is enough coontact for me for the rest of my life!

Coontact Tale #643 (July 4, 2007)

While back I spoke of the Kang of da mountain. I think it's a coontac tale but it was about a lil nigger who climbed a display of mountain bikes and fell off.

Anyway, I kinda got a kick of of this little nigga. Esp when he told his "I'z gonna sue muddafuckers" Momma he was Da Kang of Dat Mountain. So today, I was putting up some posters of the new Harry Potter book/game on one of our manlifts. (Hell yes, I play on it.) when I'z heard on in 'lectronic that familar screech of "TYRONES! GIT OFF'N DAT BIKE"! I raised the lift higher to see over the shelves and sure nuff, Da Kang was tearing up hell on a bycycle. All you could see was nigger legs pumping dat bycycle for all it was worth and his big fat spandex mammy chasing him down the isles. Tyrone's was in da lead when the first caution of the race fell. Seems like LaQuisha (I guess hiz sister) spun out in lap 32 (lost her footing) and hit da wall (more like smacked the ground over in the dolls section) which brought out the first caution of the race. Paramedics were summoned (GrandMammy picked her up and brushed her off) and LaQuisha was taken to the infield hospital (the McNigger's) for a checkup (kids meal of McNigger Nuggets). The racers had fell back into line (actually Tyrones' was a'circling on dat bicycle) and was restarted (Big Mammy started after him again). It looked like Tyrones had da lead and was well on hiz way to a checkered flag finish when out of nowhere, BabyDaddy #25 reaches out a monkey paw and snatched the lead out of Tyrones' grasp (jerked hiz skinny ass off'm dat bike). This turned into RassleMania-The Revenge of Big Momma then. BD#25 then went to work on Tyrones' ass as he 'put da whoopin' on him. Then when he got softened up enough, he tagged in BIG MOMMA who went ta wailin on hiz punk nigga ass. Tyrones determination though caught BM off guard and he slipped out of what was a pinfall attempt to tag in Grandmammay Flash. She stopped the attempts of BM by holdin Tyrones' close in to her 89HH busom. After a few minutes, GrandMammy and Tyrones' were declared the winner by countout (I think BM and BD#25 got interested in some necks and grizzards or something). LaQuisha had recovered from her near fatal crash (she was polishing off'n dem nuggets) and our heros Tyrones had went back to the toys section for another bike ta steal. Might as well keep hiz skillz sharp.

Niggers always amuse me!

Coontact Tale #644 (July 1, 2007)

I was looking at cds and I looked up to see a nigger with a fairly large afro walking by. He raised his paw up and stuck his fingers through the nappy hairs and started scratching away at his scalp. He didn't just itch it slightly and stop, he was clawing away at that thing. Probably had head lice. I watched him continue to do this as he walked all the way down the aisle. He then 'axed' an employee something and they walk down another aisle away from my view. The monkey was still scratching it's head as he talked and walked away.

Mahn, po ol lone nigga aints beez habbin no udda chimps do picks dee lice owt of he head fo heem, nowwhuumsayin?

Coontact Tale #645 (July 1, 2007)

Look across the street and see niggers! Not buying this lot!

Minor contact but even the slightest cunt hair of it can be painful!

After sitting on Niggermania for a while like always. Went and seen an empty lot of property my buddy whose a realotor was selling. Hopefully to flip it or one day if I ever have enough money build something on it. I met him there and was talking to him on the phone as I was on my way there on the phone all he could talk about was how nice the lot was. And he was right when I pulled up I was impressed. Nice area south of the city looked family oriented mid class citizens. And still only a few houses even finished in the area.

Took a glance a little behind me across the street a nigger fambly with at leatst 7 niglets running around screaming. How a nigger could afford a house even like this was beyond me! You could tell it must of been their first day there the lawn was all still there, no niggmobiles in the front ( the one there was a newer cherokee could of been the realtors that made a mistake or his parole officer, or child services). And it actually had siding on it!

Anyway my buddy who knows my feelings said "Sorry I had no idea" I laughed and said find me another one.

Minor but still at least I found out unless I was stupid enough to buy! Because imagine trying flipping that to someone. Once 1 nigger moves into any neighbourhood the area is destroyed!

Coontact Tale #646 (July 1, 2007)

Well I took a trip through the jungle earlier. It was about 5:30 pm when I cruised thru on the way to Nigger-Mart. Not much activity...a few sheboons, couple of Silverbacks, a few nigglets here and there. Got my supplies and walked outside only to see the jungle warden buzzing pretty low in a Helocopter. Well on the way back it was obvious there was some kind of round up going on. As soon as I was on the trail back, I noticed one of the Nigger limo pick up stations was completely empty. You could tell they had been there by all the Mc Nigger's trash on the ground and bench. Typical niggers. The sheboons, silverbacks, and the nigglets further up the trail had been awakened and scared out of the trees by the low flying helocoptor. They were everywhere running amuck. Hundreds of em. Needless to say, I didn't stop for fear of being attacked. Anyhow, I learned a valuable lesson today. When the warden chopper is flying...never, never, never go out in the jungle. I was really lucky there were no bubbles, boxes, or donks playin jungle music when I passed thru there. That stuff really sends the groids into a frenzy.

Coontact Tale #647 (July 1, 2007)

This was posted in another thread but it's an older event that got dredged up in my memories...

I refused a nigger doctor in the ER when I had walking pneumonia once. This was before I became racially aware (way back in my mid-to-late teens and I was still a liberal) because the asshole diagnosed me with only a mild upper-respiratory infection. I knew it was more than that and wanted to be admitted but he argued with me that he was the doctor, he was right, that I needed to go home, fill my prescription tomorrow (no, no antibiotics from the hospital dispensary, at all!) and rest.

My fever was 102 F, my pulse was racing, my face pale as milk, I could barely breathe and I was practically dehydrated. I screamed for a nurse and told them to get me another doctor that this guy was nuts and that I was feeling really bad. When she saw my condition, she complied. After that, I passed out.

That quack boon could have killed me because the new doctor (he was Indian or Pakistani, I forget), that I saw later that night when I woke back up, said my fever would have probably spiked or I would have went into respiratory arrest if I was sent home. The doctor said that I probably would have passed out driving home (I had no family or friends who could take me) and could have died (or hurt someone else) that way, too.

Luckily, all I needed were lots of IV fluids & antibiotics, monitoring and bed rest for about a week. I was feeling flimsy for about another two weeks but I was back to normal not long after.

The hospital settled with me (for a generous amount) out of court before I could even think to sue the boon for malpractice. They settled with me BEFORE I was discharged. No hospital billing to myself or to my insurance, either.

Now, I wish I had of but I was still a dumb liberal and blamed it on 'human error' not nigger incompetence.

I'll never make THAT mistake again.

That boon was never seen at the hospital after that.

I will NEVER take a nigger doctor or a nigger anything EVER again for nothing!


Coontact Tale #648 (July 1, 2007)

2nd hand coontact at BBQ

Today my co-workers had this big Independence Day BBQ at our supervisor's nice home but I couldn't go since I had made other plans. My friend called me and told me about some coontact that took place. I'm so glad I didn't go!

There is this fat AA nigger that works on my floor in a couple cubicles over and it spends its time reading nog magazines or talking on the phone. I have never seen it do any work! Well, this nig arrived to the BBQ (the boss had to invite him) that was RSVP but it never called to confirm the invitation. To top it off, the nog had invited its entire fambly and friends-8 nigs in all! He said these were some of the fattest boons he ever seen in his life, tipping the scales at 400 easily. As soon as they came they started butting in line at the serving tables and heaping up food like they were at an all you can eat buffet.

The boss lives in a nice mainly white neighborhood in Highland Park, a rizty area in Dallas and he has a big backyard with a pool. My friend said that the three cheeruns decided to go swimming even though the boss had not said he wanted to open the pool during the BBQ. They believe that tale where if you eat then you get a cramp in the water and could drown. The boss went ahead and let the niglets swim since he wanted a nice atmosphere at the party without arguing.

My friend said that he knows those niglets pissed in the pool since they stayed in there the entire time and never got out! Barely anyone got more than one serving of food or even some meat at all because the nigger animals ate so much! As soon as all the food was gone, the niggers left without joining in the later festivities like sparklers and speeches given by some of the co-workers. Not one of them even approached the boss and thanked him! He said a big sigh of relief went over everyone after the nig left. It's the only nigger who "works" on our floor and we all know it's because of AA!

He said that everyone complained about those niggers when they left like saying they ate so much and didn't even RSVP. The boss' wife and him only made enough food and a little extra for the people who confirmed their invitation! The wife then brought out a several pies for everyone and some people were so hungry they ate three pieces.

"Those niggers have no manners or morals whatsoever!" he said to me and I agree wholeheartedly. He felt so bad because the boss' wife had spent weeks preparing for this event like decorating the backyard and fixing all the food only to have those animals ruin it! If they have another party like this they should hire security to keep those out like the nigger who didn't RSVP!

Coontact Tale #649 (July 1, 2007)

Anyway, my hubby phoned me earlier today telling me it was feeling stressed out and could I make it chimp out for the amusement of the humans that work with him, so having nothing better to do I obliged.

I've been ringing reception and insisting to speak to Mike Hunt and asking it to page the said Mike Hunt on the tannoy.

Sheboon keeps getting really agitated and insisting there is no such person, but I keep on saying in my poshest country lady voice 'please call Mike Hunt straight away' until sheboon chimps out and hangs up the phone - which I promptly proceed to redial.

I've done this about 5 times today and the stupid sheboon still doesn't know who Mike Hunt is - hubby has just phoned me and told me it has left the office and gone back to its cage

Coontact Tale #650 (July 1, 2007)

I just called the cops on a weed-smoking, masturbating nigger!

I went to eat with my parents tonight. On the way back to their house, we stopped off at a CVS to pick up my dad's prescriptions.

Outside was a really dirty ugly buck nigger grabbing its "muh dik".

It tried to engage me with its "niggerfriendliness" (fake bullshit to size up a target) and asked for some money. I scowled at it on the way in.

When I came back out it was smoking a joint! Stinky marijuana smoke was everywhere. AND it was actively rubbing its "muh dik" through its nasty greasy grey pants! It saw me and raised it's masturbating arm and paw up like to give me a high-five. AS IF I WOULD EVER TOUCH A NIGGER AT ALL, LET ALONE ONE THAT IS MASTURBATING! GROSS-OUT SUPREME! I gave it a really dirty look and headed for my parent's car. Keep in mind that this is in an overwhelmingly white area. I got in my parent's car and said "That nigger is smoking marijuana in public!"

My mom said "He is jacking-off too! (yes she really said that) He looked at me while he was doing it and he saw that I saw him and I think it turned him on!"

I said "Give me your cell phone so I can call the cops!" I didn't have my phone with me at the time.

At first my mom wanted to let it go (they don't like niggers either but still say that I'm "bigoted"). I said "Mom, we could save someone from being raped! Or stabbed like I was!" (A nigger stabbed me in an attempted carjacking in 1991 and I almost died). So my mom came to her senses and gave me her phone. I called 911 and a niggersow answered. I said (OFFENSIVE WORD ALERT): "I want to report an African-American (sorry Niggermaniacs!!!) male masturbating in public and openly smoking marijuana!" The 911-sow said she would send the police right out. I wanted to stick around and watch the fun but my parents were tired (kind of elderly) and wanted to get back to their house. I hope that filthy nigger is rotting in jail right now. At least I did my part!!!! These days, whenever I see a nigger doing ANYTHING remotely illegal I call the cops. It makes my day to think I helped throw a nigger in jail.

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