Nigger Jokes Page 03

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Page 3 courtesy of : Marxist Lucifer Coon

 

Why do nigger females hate getting their periods?
It means there at least 9 months away from the next welfare upgrade.

Walt Disney Movie Cancelled. Al Sharpton reported today that Walt Disney's new film called “Jet Black” the African-American version of “Snow White" has been canceled. All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Homeboy, and Shanky-Skank have refused to sing “Hi Ho” because they say it offends black prostitutes. They also have no intention of singing, “It's off to work we go."

What did they call the first nigger test tube baby?
Janitor in a Drum!

A young nigger walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The nigger said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it."

A man dies and goes to heaven. While standing in front of St. Peter he sees a wall full of clocks behind him. "What's with the clocks?" he asks. "Those are lie clocks, everyone on Earth has one. Each time a person lies, the hand moves on their clock", explains St. Peter.
"Oh" said the man "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hand has never moved indicating she never lied."
"What about that one there?" pointed the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's, it only moved twice. Telling us that Abe only lied twice." answered St. Peter.
"Where's Obama's clock?"
St. Peter looked down and answered, "Ugh, that one is in Jesus' office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

Buckwheat has converted to Islam . . .
He's now Kareem of Wheat.

What does a nigger have in common with a soda machine?
They both don't work and always take your money.

Why are there only two pallbearers at a niggers funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.

What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working nigger?
Bigfoot has been spotted.

Why do niggers only chill and kick it?
Because they don't like to hang.

What do you call thirty five blacks in a room?
Bunch of Niggers.

What's do you call a nigger in a cocoon?
ninigger.

Why is a nigger so afraid of a chainsaw?
Because it mocks him...."R-R-R-R-R-RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA"

What do you call a nigger hitchiker?
Stranded.

What's the difference between nigger pussy and a bowling ball?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.

As we near the 20th anniversary of the Million Coon March (Oct 16), organized by Lou-ass Ferrycoon. Remember the several positive things about the march:
1. The nigger population of many cities were temporarily reduced.
2. Police, parole agents and probation officers knew the location of thousands of felons and parolees.
3. Only three 'people' missed work.

A little nigger boy put flour all over his face while his Mother was cooking.
"Look Mama - I is a white boy."
She slapped him around the head.
He went in to his Dad, who was watching TV.
"Look Papa, I is a white boy."
His Father kicked his ass.
He went to his Grandma who was folding clothes.
"Look Grandma - I is a white boy."
She punched him right on the nose.
He shouted, "I've only been white for three minutes, and I already HATE you fucking niggers..."

What do you call that useless piece of skin on the end of a black man's dick ?
A nigger.

When a she-boon has 5 turdlers all named Tyrone how does she tell them apart?
By the last name

What's the difference between the US Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan?
The members of the Supreme Court wear black robes and scare white people.

A man goes to a public golf course.
He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, 'I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.'
The man behind the counter says, 'The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today.'
The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, 'I think my driver will do the job.'
The robot caddie turned to the man and said, 'No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole.'
Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green. The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance. As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, 'I think this green is gonna break left to right.'
The robot then again spoke up and said, 'No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left'
Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine. He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice. But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.
Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, 'How was your game ?'
The golfer stated, 'It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you next week. A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, 'I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please.'
The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, 'Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints.'
Confused, the golfer cried, 'COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were incredible'
The man sighed and said, 'Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way. '
The golfer said, 'So then why didn't you just paint them black?' The man nodded sadly and replied, 'We did. Then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other is running for President.

A Chinese man was skipping rocks across a lake one day. A Coon comes by and asks, "Wat yo doin?"
The Chinaman replied, "You skip rock across water, and it tell you your ancestors."
"Watch", he continues. The Chinaman skips the rock across the water, with the sound, "Ching, Chang, Chong!"
Ching is my Mother's name, Chang is my Father's name, and I am Chong," the Chinaman finishes.
The Coon says, "Lit mah ty dat."
He picks up a rock, and he skips it across the water with the sound, "Chim-Pan-Zee!" Then the nigger gets mad, and throws a great big rock into the water, "Bab-boon!"

A nigger is standing in line at an airport looking to buy an airline ticket to Africa. He finds he is just $1 short for the airfare. Determined to go and find his roots he turns to a tall Texan standing behind him and "axed" him for a dollar. The Texan replies, "Shit boy! Only $1 to send your black ass back to Africa? Here's a twenty, take some of your friends with ya!"

Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other boot-lip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"

What's the biggest difference between St Patrick's Day & Martin Luther King Day?
Everyone wants to be Irish on St Patrick's Day

If a dirty stinky nigger, a clean nigger, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus saw a $10 bill on a table, who would pick it up? The dirty stinky nigger, because there's no such thing as a clean nigger, the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

Three year old she-niglet LaShondra was taking a shower with her mammy when she pointed up at her Mammy's tits and said, "wazz dem Mama?" Her Mammy replied, "why dem iz muh tits LaShondra." "Mammy, will Iz ever haf tits?" asked Lashondra. "Why shor, LaShondra, whenzs yuz growed up like Mammy yuz haf dem tits too", answered her Mammy.
Next night little LaShondra was taking a shower with her Mammy's boyfriend when she pointed up at his dick and said, "Dermaquaye, what be that hanging tween yo legs?" "Why dat be muh dik" replied Dermaquaye. "Well, wills Iz ever haf a dik?" asked LaShondra. "Sho enuf, LaShondra, soon as yo Mammy leave da house."

An Israeli doctor says, "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work.
The German doctor says, "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
The Russian doctor says, "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
The American doctor laughs, "You all are behind us. Six years ago, we took a nigger with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

When students took the entrance exam for medical school , they were perplexed by this question:
"Please rearrange the letters p-n-e-s-i to spell out the part of the human body that is most useful when erect." Those who spelled spine became successful doctors.
The rest were niggers.

apehead

Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Detroit, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.
"What's the matter?" Bob asked.
"I've been transferred to Detroit - I've heard the people are crazy there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation."
Bob replied, "I've lived in Detroit all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."

Billy a Klansman, was driving down the road when he spotted his preacher standing by his car on the side of the road with a gas can. Of course he pulled over and let the reverend in to give him a ride to the gas station about 5 miles up the road.
A little ways down the road Billy sees a nigger walking. Now Billy disliked niggers so much he would swerve over on them when he got the chance. Billy said to himself, "Oh Lord, I can't hit this nigger with my preacher in the car."
But then he thought, "I know what I'll do. I'll just pretend I fell asleep at the wheel and swerve over to get him."
As he approached the nigger he closed his eyes and swerved over....BAM!
Billy pretended to shake himself awake and look startled, "Oh no! Did I hit that poor nigger?"
The preacher looked at Billy and calmly said, "No, but you got close enough that I could smack him with the gas can."

What do u call corn bread with a food stamp card in the middle?
A nigger fortune cookie

What do u call 4 niggers standing against a barn?
Old farm equipment

I asked a nigger to see my turn signal was working.
He said yes no yes no yes no

How many cops does it take to push a nigger down a flight of stairs?
None..it fell

Why do niggers hate country music?
When they hear the ho-down they think their mama dun got shot daed

The Reverend Al Sharpton stopped by a Sears store one day.
In the appliance department he started complaining that all the washing machines were WHITE.
The floor manager tried to calm Sharpton down by saying...
"Yes, Reverend, indeed the washers are all white, but if you lift the lid and look inside, the agitators are BLACK."

What repulsive thing can you find in a nigger's clothes?
The nigger

What do niggers and tornadoes have in common?
It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood

A white kid and a little nigger are arguing about if God is black or white.
The white kid then shouts to the sky, "God! Are you black or white?"
God replies to them saying, "Well child, I am what I am."
The white kid says, "well that settles it. God is white."
The nigger replies asking, "How do you know?"
The white kid then says, "If he was black he would've said I iz what I iz."

A man goes into an antique store to look around when he spots a hand carved antique wooden rat.
The man asks the shop owner, "how much for the rat?"
The store owner says, "the rat is one hundred dollars, and the instructions cost an additional hundred dollars."
The man says, "I'll take the carving but I don't see the need for instructions."
The man leaves the store with the carved rat and a dozen rats appear at his feet. As he's walking down the street more and more rats begin to follow him.
The further he walks more and more rats start following him. As he gets down by the ocean there are tens of thousands of rats behind him, so he throws the wooden rat into the ocean and all ten thousand rats jump into the water and drown.
The man returns to the antique store, the owner asks, "have you come back for the instructions?"
The man says, "no, I've come back to see if you have any carved wooden niggers."

What do niggers and Christmas lights have in common? They hang around the front porch all day, half of them don't work, and the ones that do aren't all that bright.

A twin-engine passenger plane has an engine failure and the altitude and speed are decreasing rapidly.
The pilot speaks over the intercom, "I'm sorry it has come to this ladies and gentlemen, but unfortunately we are going to have to jettison the luggage in order for the aircraft to remain airborne ."
Baggage is thrown out but still the plane's altitude continues to decrease. Once again the pilot gets on the intercom.
"I hate to do this folks but in order to save the majority we are going to have to start off-loading some passengers. The only fair way is to do this is alphabetically, so we'll start with the letter 'A' ".
"Africans? Are there any Africans on board?"
There was no answer so the pilot calls out, "Black people, are there any black people on board?"
Again no answer .
" C - colored people? Are there any colored people on board?"
Still no answer.
A little black boy sitting near the rear of the plane turned to his mother and said, "Mum, ain't we African? Ain't we black? Ain't we colored?"
She replied,"Yes, son but for the moment we is Niggers. Let them do the Muslims first. If that don't work we is Zulu's."

FROM THE FERGUSON POLICE CHIEF:

THE FERGUSON POLICE DEPARTMENT ANNOUNCED THIS MORNING THAT

ALL GERMAN SHEPHERD POLICE DOGS WILL BE REPLACED BY COON HOUNDS,

DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE CITY IS NOT HAVING ANY PROBLEMS WITH GERMANS.

What's the difference between niggers and trampolines?
You take your boots off to jump on trampolines.

How can you tell when a nigger has been on your computer?
It's not there.

What was the only thing missing from the million man march?
An auctioneer

What's faster than a nigger running with your TV?
His brother with the DVD player.

How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can’t fire it.

What happens to nigger's after they die?
Nigger Mortis.

A nigger walks into a bar with a duck on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Hey, cool, where did you get that?" Duck says, "Africa, they are all over the fucking place."

What separates the humans from the animals?
The Mediterranean


A nigger comes back from grade school and axes his mama, ''Shiiieett Mama. Today was muh dick inspecthun day at skoo and muh dick was bigger than all dem white folks. Is it because I'm a nigga?''
The mammy sow looks at her kid and says, ''Nuh-uh nigga. Dat's becauz yo thirty years ol'.''


The following items have NOT been stolen by the Missouri looters:
Pens, pencils, resume kits, work boots, work gloves, work coveralls, job applications, father's day cards, condoms, cleaning supplies, soap, or books.

What visits thousands of African children in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve?
Death

NAACP stands for:
Niggers Are Actually Completely Pointless
National Association Against All Caucasian People
Now Apes Are Called People
Newly Appointed Apes Chunking Poop
Negroid Apes Absent of Cognitive Production
Now An Ape's Called President
Niggers Are Against Crime Prevention
Niggers Are Always Criminal Perpetrators
Niggers Always Assault Caucasian People


A student played high school football in Detroit. He was a great running
back, but a really poor student.
At graduation, he didn't have enough credits. But he was a great football
star and the students held a rally and demanded the principal give him his
diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the principal agreed if Dwayne
could answer one question correctly, he would give him his diploma.
The one-question test was held in the auditorium and all the students
packed the place. It was standing room only.
The principal was on the stage and told him to come up. The principal had
the diploma in his hand and said, "Dwayne, if you can answer this question
correctly I'll give you your diploma."
Dwayne said he was ready and the principal asked him the question, "Dwayne,"
he said, "How much is three times seven?"
Dwayne looked up at the ceiling and the down at his shoes, pondering the
question. The other students began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate
him anyway!"
Then, Dwayne held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. He said, "I
think ... I know the answer ... Three times seven is twenty-one."
A hush fell over the auditorium, then all the students began another
chant ... "Give him another chance! ... Give him another chance!"

What do you call a nigger that eats shit?
A cannibal.

The cops were called to a local bar, about someone fighting. When they got there, this nigger tells the cops, "please help! My father is in a fight in the alley behind the bar!" The cops say, "which one is your father?" The nigger says, "that's what they are fighting about!"


A mind is a terrible thing to waste... That's why niggers don't have one!

A monkey was swimming in the swamp, when an alligator grabbed him. The alligator said to the
monkey, "today's your lucky day. I'm going to give you a choice. Either I can bite off your tail, or I can bite off your head, which in that case you'll die." The monkey thought for a second, and said, "bite my head off." The alligator said, "maybe you misunderstood me, if I bite your head off, you're going to die." The monkey said, "yea I know, but if you bite off my tail, I'll look like a nigger."

What is the difference between a nigger and used toilet paper?
Used toilet paper did something useful!


When hurricane Sandy struck the East Coast, even houses of worship were not spared.
A local television station interviewed a nigger woman from New Jersey and asked how the loss of churches in the area would affect their lives. Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know 'bout all those other people, but we ain't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's."

3 niglets sre in school one day.
The teacher asks them, "What do cows say?"
LaEboneisha replies, "moo!"
Teacher then asks, "What do sheep say?"
DaTrayvonne replies, "baa!"
Teacher then asks, "What do pigs say?"
Leroy says, "Freeze nigger! What's in the bag?"

Do you know why newspapers don’t print the pictures of all the crime suspects?
They would run out of black ink.

How does a nigger momma know when her daughter is on the rag?
Her son’s dick tastes funny.

What do you call a French nigger?
Jacque Custodian.

Why do nigger sows wear high heels?
It keeps their knuckles from dragging across the ground!

In this New Year, 2014, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence to foretell future events. The other involves a groundhog.


What's the difference between a truckload of niggers and a truckload of hay?
The hay doesn't scream when you unload it with a pitchfork.


What do you call a coffin with a nigger in it?
A shine box

What stopped the police from apprehending an illegal immigrant who was squatting in a white man's house and spending all his money?
The Secret Service


What's the new symbol of black power?
Eight niggers pushing a cadillac.


What would Trayvon Martin be doing if he were alive today?
Clawing frantically at the inside of his coffin


Did you know that Trayvon was an aspiring rapper? Do you know what his greatest hit was?
The Sidewalk

Do you know why Trayvon was placed face down in his coffin at his open casket funeral?
So his 'down low' homies could stop by for a cold one.

You're locked in a cage with a lion, a tiger, and Trayvon. You have a gun with 2 bullets, what do you do?
Shoot Trayvon.......twice.

How you get a she-boon pregnant?
Jack off on the floor and let the flies do the rest.

What do mop & glow and a taser have in common?
They both put a shine on the floor.

How does a nigger know when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon all the cotton is picked off.

In South Los Angeles , a 4-plex home was destroyed by a fire.
A Somali family of six, all welfare recipients and gang members,
Lived on the first floor, they died.
A group of seven Obama supporters,
All illegally in the country from Kenya , lived on the second floor,
And they, too, all perished in the fire.
6 LA niggers, & ex-cons,
Lived on the 3rd floor and they, too, died.
A lone, white couple lived on the top floor.
The couple survived the fire.
Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious!!
They flew into LA and met with the fire chief, on camera.
They loudly demanded to know,
"Why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Africans, All died in the fire and why only the White couple lived?"
The Fire Chief said, "They were at work."

New TV network! TNB!
6:30am - Late Night Chimpouts
9:30 AM Good morning white people.
10:00 AM Cops beating niggers with clubs
10:30 AM Cops Tazing Niggers
11:00 AM Mid Morning Chimpouts
12:00 Cops beating niggers
12:30 COPS - Nigger Edition
1:30 pm GOOD Morning Niggers
2:30PM Startrek The Black Generation
Set phasers to swag as Lt Commander Chimpout has a class 5. Red alert n sheeeeeit
3:30pm New Jersey Shore; Camden Edition. City.Gone.Black ugnomesayindawg?
4:30 Niggers In History
4:35 Niggers In Science
4:40 Niggers in Space
4:45 Niggers in Prison (4 hour 95 part mini series)
9:00pm Movie(Sci-Fi) District Fo' A nigger built space craft sends the entire nigger race to a distant star system where they encounter an ancient alien civilization and wear out their welcome by committing far too many crimes and eating all the fried alien chickens and watermelons. The aliens develop their own version of NIGGERMANIA as they search for a way to dispose of the boot-lipped savages.
11:00PM Pirates Of Somalia. We bought a bunch of old navy vessels and made them look like commercial ships as bait for the stupid niggers in Somalia. When they approach, we do zany stuff. One time we sank the ship and that pulled the pirates down with the ship. One time we waited till they boarded the ship then sank it!
12:00 am Game show Chimp Or Pimp
1:00am That's Racist - Game show
2:00am The Late Show With Niggers
3:00 am Nigger Inventors
3:01 Off Air

pulluppants

The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains
of Alaska . He was cruising along the campground in the 'Popemobile'
when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He
found a helpless black guy wearing shorts, sandals, a Vote for Obama
hat, and a Save the KFC shirt. He was screaming and struggling
frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free itself from the
grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group white guys came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two other men pulled the
semiconscious nigger from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball
bats, the three men finished off the bear. Two of the men dragged
the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other
tossed the injured black in the back of the truck.
As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him. "I
give you my blessing for your brave actions!", he proudly proclaimed.
"I have heard there was bitter hatred between whites and blacks, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, one guy asked his buddies, "Who was
that ?" "Dude, that was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact
with Heaven and has access to all kinds of wisdom."
"Well he may have a lot of wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is our bait still alive or do we need to go back to Anchorage and get another nigger.?"

Why was the wheelbarrow invented?
To teach Niggers to walk on their hind legs.

What is printed on all African products?
"Untouched by human hands."

If Tarzan and Jane were niggers, what would Cheetah be?
The brains of the outfit.

Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.

What's the difference between good nigger kids and bad nigger kids?
Good nigger kids are in medium security prisons.


What do you call a niggers with an IQ of 15?
Gifted
What do you call a niggers with an IQ of 150?
Tribe.

What's a black mermaid?
A carp with tits.

Why did the nigger run when his girlfriend said she wanted to give him a blowjob?
He was afraid it would cancel his unemployment benefits.

What's the difference between a she-boon and an elephant?
Usually about 20 lbs.

What do she-boons from Harlem and bears have in common?
They both lick their paws.

What's black on top and white on the bottom?
Rape

An out of state hunter walks in to a small diner in Alabama. The waitress seats him and takes his order. She then asked if he is a hunter. The man replied, "yes I am." After the waitress brought his order, she asked if he had shot his two niggers yet. The man was stunned and asked what she was talking about. She then explained that the state legislature decided that there were too many niggers and that anyone with a valid hunting license could shoot two niggers that year. Well the hunter paid no attention to it and went on with his business. Later on at the sporting goods store the cashier asked if he had shot his two niggers yet. The man paid no attention to it again and left the store headed for the field. As he was driving down the road he noticed a group of niggers picking watermelons in a field. He thought to himself, "what the hell it's only a couple of niggers." So he stopped got out of his truck, took aim, shot twice, and nailed two of the niggers. All of the sudden here came the game warden with his lights and sirens on. The hunter thought, "oh shit, what have I done?" The game warden got out of his truck and said, "what the fuck do you think you are doing." So the hunter explained what he had been told by the locals. The game warden explained, "you can shoot two niggers with a valid hunting license, but not over a baited field."

I went to the bank the other day, and as I was going in, I noticed this nigger sitting on the sidewalk beside the bank entrance door. He noticed me too.
I did my business in the bank, and on my way out, he looked up to me and asked, "Any change, mister?"
I responded, "Nope, sorry, you're still a nigger."

George W. Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.
Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”
The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you sir?” Bush replied, “Go ahead; my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”


On January 29th, 2012 Davy Jones, lead singer for the 60's pop group "The Monkeys" passed away. The following morning headlines in the Washington Post read, "LEAD MONKEY DEAD."
It took the secret service several hours to get Joe Biden to calm down and stop running around the white house yelling, “I'm the President! I'm the President! I'm the President!"


Why were there no niggers on the show " Deadliest Catch " ?
Every nigger has already caught crabs.


A white guy, an Asian and a nigger are on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. The White guy says to the nigger, "if you catch the wind just right, you can jump off of this building and float safely to the ground." The nigger says, "Come on maing! You is bullshittin' Dere's no way anyones kins do dats." "No", said the white guy, "it's absolutely true! I'll prove it to you." So the white guy jumps off the side, and sure enough, he floats safely to the ground. He came back up to the deck a few minutes later and said to the nigger, "See, I told you!" The nigger says, "Wow! Dats amazin' an sheeit! I gots ta try me dat!" The nigger then climbed over the safety barrier and the jumped off the side. "SPLAT!!!" The nigger ended up as a red stain on the sidewalk below. The Asian guy then turned to the white guy and said, "I don't know about you sometimes Superman!"


Why did the nigger cross the road?
I tugged his neck-chain in that direction.

When a nigger flips his middle finger at you what is he doing?
Showing you his IQ score.

A White man is the only survivor of a plane crash in Africa. He's stumbling through
the desert, hopelessly lost, no water or ANYTHING.
He kicks a lamp buried in the sand. Just for the hell of it, he rubs the lamp and
*POOF* a genie appears...A NIGGER GENIE! The White says to himself
"Oh, great, nigger genie...!" The nigger genie pouts,
"Oh great, a White man," but the genie continues "Alright, I'm honor-bound to grant
you three wishes, but since you're White, EVERYTHING you wish for, I'm going to
give TWICE as much to every 'Black' within a 100-mile radius of here."
The White figures that this is still a pretty good deal.
"Okay, I want 1,000,000 dollars."
"Done! In your bank account at home you have a million dollars. But now
every black within 100 miles of here has TWO million dollars...!"
"Damn it! Okay, I want a 40 foot yacht."
"Done! But now every black within 100 miles of here has an 80 foot yacht!"
"Shit!" The White man thinks about it for a second, then says, "QUICK---scare me
half to death!"


What did Jesus say to all the niggers before he died on the cross?
"Don't work until I come back"

A niglet asks his mammy, "Mammy, what’s a democracy?"
"Well, son," says his mammy, "dats be when white folks works every day so us po’ folks can get all our benefits and sheeit."
"But mammy," says the niglet, "doan da white folk gets all mad bout dat and sheeit?"
"Dey sho do, son. They sho do," says the mammy, "and dats called racism."


I was watching TV last night and an ad came on with all of those little nigger African babies covered in flies. I couldn't wait another second and I immediately picked up my phone and called the number on the TV screen. I had to get one, they seem to work much better than those sticky strips that I hang from the ceiling!


Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two niggers in hoodies arrived.
St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I will be right back."
St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.
God says to Peter, "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be racist and judgmental here. This is heaven. Everyone is loved. Everyone is a brother. Go back and let them in!"
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh.
He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone."
"The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.
"No. The Pearly Gates."


We have a standing joke down here in Africa: What's the difference between a tourist and a racist? About a week.


Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells.
Apparently, "niggers" wasn't the right answer.


In 1272, the niggers invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the Turks somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first

A nigger decides to do a bit of hang-gliding. It drives out to the country, takes its hang-glider, and proceeds to float off high over the woods.
Two old white farmers, Billy Bob and J.T., had picked the same day to do a little hunting.
Billy Bob looks up and says to J.T., “Gee, that's the biggest darn bird I've ever seen!”.
”Let’s get him”, says J.T.
They fire off several shots, but the glider floats off serenely over the trees and out of sight.
”Heck, Billy Bob,” says J.T., “I believe we winged that bird”.
”I know we winged him,” says Billy Bob, “Did you see how fast he dropped that nigger?”.


What do you call a nigger priest?
Holy shit.


Did you hear about the 5 year old African nigglet?
He was going through a mid-life crisis.


Why did they only count 500,000 niggers at the million man march?
They forgot to look in the trees.


What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape white women?
An inmate.


What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla.

slavery

Obama, Al Sharpton, and Oprah are on a plane.
Obama said, "I could throw a 100 dollar bill out of this plane and make one person very happy..."
Sharpton said, "I could throw ten 100 dollar bills and make 10 people very happy..."
Oprah said "I could throw out a hundred, 100 dollar bills and make 100 people very happy..."
The Co-Pilot said, "I could throw out 3 niggers and make 100 million people very happy!"

What do you call three niggers sitting in a sauna?
Gorillas in the mist.

A woman had just given birth and was waiting to get her baby from the midwife. She walks in and says, "I've got some good news and some bad news". "What's the bad news?" the mother asks. "The baby's black", the Midwife answers. "So what's the good news then", asks the mom. "It's dead.", the Midwife replies!

A cowboy, an Indian, and a nigger are standing on a tall mountain looking down on the United States. The Indian says, "once we were many, but now we are few." Then the nigger says, "once we was few, but now weez be many." The cowboy says, "that's because we haven't played cowboys and niggers yet."

How do you know when its bedtime at Nigger Michael Jacksons house?
When the big hand touches the little hand...

Why did nigger Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
He thought they were a delivery service!

Laqeesha sees Jamal running with a backpack. "Jamal, what have you got there in the backpack?" Jamal says, "Dunno yet."

Who has the biggest respect for work?
Niggers, they won't even touch it!

How long will a she-boon stay virgin?
As long as she's faster than her older brother, stronger than her younger brother, and her father is in jail.

After a car crash, nigger and a white guy lie wounded on the road. Ambulance comes and the medic immediately rushes to help the white guy. Nigger starts screaming, "Wat iz dis? Dat iz raaaaaysizm!". Medic turns around and says, "What color is the ambulance?"
"White.", replies the nigger.
"Right then. Just wait for the one of yours."

I just found out I have NIGGER blood in my family tree!
Cause of my great great grand daddy I have NIGGERS in my family tree. Matter of fact they are STILL hanging there!!!

How do you split an Atom?
Give it to a Nigger & tell it not to break it.

Scientists have found a new tribe of nigger pigmy's in Africa.
They are called the Fugowee tribe (pronounced FUG-OW-WEE).
They are on average 3'3, and where they hunt the grass reaches over 4'.
When out hunting they get lost in the brush and yell at each other, "Where the fugowee?"

Mark lived in Montana. He got so sick of all the snow during the winter, he told his relatives, "I'm tying a snow shoe to the hood of my car and heading south. When I get to a state were they don't know what it is, that's my new home. He stopped in Illinois and Tennessee. They knew what it was. He finally got to Mississippi and no one had a clue what it was. So he got a house and a job, lived there a couple months, when his family from N. Dakota paid him a surprise visit. However, they couldn't find him. They asked his neighbor if he had seen him. The neighbor replied, "last time I saw him was two days ago. He was peeling out of his driveway, headed north, with some nigger tied to the hood of his car.


Why do niggers wear designer clothes, talk on expensive smart phones, drive luxury automobiles, but live in the ghetto?
Because it's hard to steal a house.

One day a white farmer and an ANC Zuma nigger were having a big fight! Just before it got out of hand, God decided it was enough, and a loud voice came out of the heavens.
"I will give each one of you a wish", the voice thundered. "You, Zuma will wish first".
Zuma said, "now I will get rid of all you white people! I wish that ALL black people be in Africa ,and all white people be in other countries. Also I wish for a BIG high wall around Africa so no white people can come in."
"So be it" God said, and POOF, a big high wall reaching above the highest mountains appeared around the African continent, and all the niggers from around the world appeared in Africa.
God looked at the white farmer, and asked "What do you want my son?"
The farmer looked around, and sked, "God, the wall around Africa... no one can get in or out?"
"Yes", God said.
"Well then", the white guy said, "I want just a six pack of beer, a chair, and Africa to be filled with water."


A taxi load of kaffirs going to Sandton square for their annual Freedom march overturns on D.F.Malan road and kaffirs are thrown everywhere. A few minutes later a farmer driving his bakkie comes upon the accident and starts burying the bodies. Just as he is completing the job a cop pulls up and asks, "what happened here?" The farmer replies, "I came upon this accident and started burying the bodies." Then the cop asks, "Are you sure they were all dead?" The farmer answers, "Well some said they were still alive but you know how those kaffirs lie."

The White House gardener was fired recently. He had been there under 7 presidents. All he did was notice some tools missing. He went to the Oval Office and asked for the spade and the hoe.

A nigger decided he wanted a pet. He hopped on his bicycle and rode down to a pet store. He looked at the cats, dogs, and even a ferret. But what caught his eye was a bird at the back of the store that seemed to be talking. The nigger said to the bird, "Polly want a cracker?"
The old bird tilted it's head sideways and replied, "Nigger want a water melon?"

It was the Summer of 1968 and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago."

The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the nigger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite the niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them."

A guy walks into a bar and exclaims, "Goddamn, niggers are fucking assholes!" Someone at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I am offended by that!" "Why, you aren't a nigger." "I know, I'm a fucking asshole!"

What is white and has a black asshole?
The White House.

A man goes into a shop and sees 3 jars on a table. The first jar says, "Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint". The second says, "Asian Brains, $6.00 a pint", and the third says, "Nigger Brains, $100.00 a pint." "Hey, why are these nigger brains $100 bucks a pint?" asked the man.
The shop owner replied, "You know how many niggers it takes to get a whole pint of brains?"

A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."

A nigger was waiting for a bus and really had to take a shit. The bus didn't show up for about an hour and this nigger is ready to explode. Finally, he just pulled down his pants and took two huge dumps of shit on the bus stop. Finally, the bus arrived. The nigger got on and paid his fare. The bus driver then looked at him and said, "Aren't you going to pay for your kids too?"

Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach niggers to walk on their hind legs.


Memphis Police today reported finding a John Doe white male body in the Mississippi River.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive narcotics consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on dildo, and an Obama t-shirt.. He also had a cucumber stuffed up his ass.
The police thoughtfully removed the Obama t-shirt to spare the family any unnecessary embarrassment.


One day God decides he's fed up with dumb world and kills everyone and starts over with cockroaches. He's dividing up the good and bad and the faithful and the sinners, when he realizes there are too many niggers. So he makes a deal with Satan to take approximately half of the nigger load off his hands and the deal is done.
Two weeks later God and Satan are having lunch and Satan asks: "How's it going?"
God puts face into his hands and says, "I don't know what I was thinking. The niggers are running amok. The pearly gates have been stolen. They're pulling the gold bricks out of the street and melting them down for teeth. Someone gave St. Peter a buckwheat. (That's a low caliber bullet up the ass in case you were wondering.) The white girls have all been raped at least three times each. The angels won't even come out of their houses, the clouds are all yellow because they piss just any place that suits them. And worst of all, THEY FOUND SOME WAY TO BRING THEIR FOOD STAMPS AND WIC VOUCHERS WITH THEM!!! I don't know what I'm going to do."
The Devil rolls his eyes, grabs God and says, "You think you've got it bad? The stupid, lazy niggers down in Hell let the fucking fire go out!"

Two blondes built a bridge across a desert. If you think that is stupid, you should see all of the niggers fishing off of it.

Why are niggers good at basketball?...Because they like to run shoot and steal!

An Indian and two niggers were working on a bridge. The Indian fell off and died. When the cops came they asked the two niggers if they knew anything about the Indian. They both said, "no he was pretty quiet, and kept to himself. Then as the cops were leaving, one nigger says, "wait, I does remember something. I know he had two assholes." Cop says, "two assholes? How do you know he had two assholes." Nig says, "the Indian took us to lunch a few times at the corner store. The cashier would see us coming, and say, here comes the Indian with the two assholes."

Why was there only one nigger on the Space Shuttle Challenger?
They didn't know it was going to blow up.

Two South African policemen were on foot patrol early one evening during a curfew when one of them saw an obviously agitated Niger pedaling furiously on a bicycle.
Raising his pump action riot gun, the cop fired, killing the rider immediately.
"Why did you do THAT?", screamed his partner, "it's only 6.45 and the curfew doesn't start until 7.00!!"
"Yeah", said the shooter, "but I know where he lives and he wouldn't have made it!"


When hunting deer in the south you can shoot a nigger on the last day of the season, if you have the right tag. This happened to a friend of mine. He hunted all day every day and never saw anything, it came down to the last day and was getting dark. He went over a rise and in the valley, and below he saw a Nigger sitting at a picnic table. It was eating chittlins, KFC, watermelon, and drinking a glass of vintage Mad Dog 20\20. He thought, "well it's the last day and I haven't seen a deer. I guess I'll have to shoot this Nigger." He put the cross-hairs on him and was just about to pull the trigger when he felt a tap on his shoulder. "What the hell ya doing?", the person behind him said. He responded, "Well, I haven't seen a deer and it's the last day of season so I thought I'd shoot that nigger down there." "Not off of my feeder your not!!!!"

What do you get when you cross a nigger with a groundhog?
6 more weeks of basketball season.


Two niggers are on their honeymoon at a swanky beach-side resort.
The bartender begins to notice that every night, all night, the nigress is sitting in the bar, eating pigs feet and drinking Hennessy. And all day, every day, the nigger is sitting out on the end of the pier, drinking malt liquor and fishing.
The bartender gets curious about this, so one day as the nigger is walking toward the pier with his fishing pole, he stops the nigger and asks, "Hey, boy, aren't you on your honeymoon with your wife?"
"Yassuh", says the nigger.
"How come I see her in here eating all night long, and I see you out on the pier fishing all day long?" the bartender asks. "Why aren't y'all up in your room having sex?"
"Well suh," the nigger replies, "She gots da gonorrhea."
"Oh!", says the bartender. "Well, couldn't you have oral sex?"
"Nosuh, nosuh," the nigger says, "She also gots da pyorrhea."
"Well then," the bartender persists, "What about anal sex? Can't you do that?"
"Nosuh, nosuh," says the nigger, "She also gots da diarrhea."
"Well, hell, boy", the flummoxed bartender says, "If she's got gonorrhea, pyorrhea, and diarrhea, what the hell did you marry her for?"
"Well suh," the nigger answers, smiling, "She also gots da worms, and I loves to fish!"


A man seeking to join a West Texas Sheriff's Department is being
Interviewed.
The Deputy doing the interview says, "your qualifications all look good, but
There is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says, "take this pistol and go out and shoot six niggers and a rabbit. "
"Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude," says the Sergeant, "When can you start?"

Who was the first nigger prostitute?
Coonta-Keentay's sister, Renta-Cuntay...

What do you call a Nigger cop that drives a motorcycle?
A Chocolate Chip.

What do you get when you cross a nigger with an ape?
What do you mean, "cross"?

What do you use to circumcise a nigger?
A jigsaw.

A huge black guy walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender and said, "My name's Liberty Smith. I'm seven feet tall, I weigh three hundred pounds, and I'm the meanest, baddest player on the Dallas Cowboys--and I'm married to a white woman. What do you say to that?" The bartender replied, nervously, "That's nice, Mr. Smith." Then he walked up to one of the men sitting at the bar and said, "My name's Liberty Smith. I'm seven feet tall, I weigh three hundred pounds, and I'm the meanest, baddest player on the Dallas Cowboys--and I'm married to a white woman. What do you say to that?" The man turned white and said, "Anything you say, Mr. Smith." And then he walked up to another bar patron and said to him, "My name's Liberty Smith. I'm seven feet tall, I weigh three hundred pounds, and I'm the meanest, baddest player on the Dallas Cowboys--and I'm married to a white woman. What do you say to that?" And he said, "I don't blame you. I wouldn't marry a nigger either."

A black man went parachute jumping. He leapt out of the plane, felt the rush of the wind and saw the ground getting closer. After a few seconds he reached for the rip cord to open his parachute. Just then an angel flew by and said he him, "If you love Jesus don't pull that rip cord." The black man was very religious, so he took his hand away from the rip cord, saying, "Yessir, ah do love Jesus!" A few seconds later, the ground was a lot closer and his body began to be really tense. Once again, he reached for the rip cord--and the angel flew by again, saying, "If you love the Lord Jesus don't pull that rip cord." The black man's faith was strong and he took his hand away again. A few seconds later--splat!--the black man hit the earth and was killed instantly. As the angel flew away he said to himself, "I don't know how I got to be an angel when I hate niggers so much."

Detroit pep rally chant:
"Basketball, watermelon, Cadillac car.
We ain't as dumb as you think we . . . is."

Did you hear that they found the cause of sickle cell anemia?
It's in the glue on the back of food stamps.

Two black garbage men were hauling a load of trash to the dump in their open-bed garbage truck when a huge windstorm started. Their load included of a lot of light stuff that started blowing out of the back of the truck. They decided that they'd better do something about it, so one of them climbed in to the back of the truck and lay down on top of the load to keep it from blowing away. A couple of white guys pulled into the traffic lane directly behind them and one of them said to the other, "Look! Somebody threw away a perfectly good nigger!"

When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger?
When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.

Why don't niggers have check books?
They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.

Bush and nigger Obama were flying over the bayous of Louisiana. Down in the water, a white guy was pulling a nigger on ski's behind his boat.
Obama said, "Wow, it's amazing how well white people and black people get along. It really goes to show how far America has come."
Bush replied, "Apparently you have never been alligator hunting before."

Three guys escaped from prison: a white, a Mexican, and a nigger. They had been running for hours and came across a farm. Very hungry, the White guy headed for the peanut patch and began to steal and eat peanuts by the handful. He heard the distinct sound of a shotgun round being chambered, turned around and saw he was confronted by a farmer.
While aiming the 12-gauge in his direction, the farmer said, "Stealing my crops, huh? ...Tell ya what. You bend over and shove them peanuts up your ass& I'll let you live." The guy did as instructed, and the farmer let him go.
A minute later the Mexican was confronted by the farmer, in the cucumber patch. "...You shove that cucumber up your ass, and I'll let you go." The Mexican began to insert the cucumber up his ass and laughed.
Perplexed, the farmer asked, "What the hell's so funny?"
The Mexican answered, "I'm thinking about the nigger in the watermelon patch."


A truck full of chicken eggs is driving down a dirt road when two niggers with bikes ask the driver for a ride. The driver says, "I don't have room unless you want to ride in the back with the eggs." The niggers don't mind and hop on. About a mile down the road a cop pulls the truck over and he looks in the back. The cop runs to his car, gets on the radio and says, "I need back up, I just pulled over a truck full of nigger eggs. Two of them have hatched, and they already have stolen bikes.

What's black and has yellow stripes with green spots?
My Nigger, and I will paint him whatever damn color I want.

I hear the nigger Angolan boxing champion stepped on a land mine...
Despite the handicap he has since gone 4 fights without da feet

Why does the ghetto Little League use hubcaps as bases?
To encourage the niggers to steal.


Nigger Toby and Tyrone are beggars. They both beg in different areas of town for the same amount of time. Toby collects only eight or nine dollars every day. Tyrone brings home a suitcase of ten-dollar bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money to spend.
'Hey, homie,' Toby says to Tyrone, 'I beg just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten-dollar bills every day?"
Tyrone says, "Look at your sign, what does it say"?
Toby's sign reads: "I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support."
"What's wrong with that?" Tyrone asks him.
Tyrone says, "No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars!"
Toby says, "All right, so what does your sign say?"
Tyrone shows Toby his sign. It reads,
"I only need another ten dollars to move back to Africa"

A company designed and built a machine called a "Nigger-Shredder". The clients met at the company for an on-site demonstration. An engineer turns on the machine and it goes 'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......' They lined up a dozen spooks and proceeded to throw them into the machine. With each nigger, the machine went, 'mmmmmmmmm(schlop)mmmmmmm....' The technicians grabbed another coon and threw him in......'mmmmmmmmmmm(schlop)mmmmmm.....'
The clients were impressed to no end. "We want one," they all cried.
The machines were delivered and put into immediate use. A few days later, a complaint call came to the factory that their machine had jammed. The customer service technician told them that the machine just needs to be greased.
The next day, they called back and said that the machine was still jammed. The service technician was immediately dispatched to inspect the jammed machine.
When the tech arrived, he turned on the machine and it went, '&%?)#@(*$%<?......making a hell of a racket.
The tech then grabbed Jose, one of the illegal Mexican janitors, and threw him into the Nigger-Shredder. The machine went, '&%?)#@$(SCHLOP)mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
The tech then tells the shredder crew, "See, I told you all it needed was to be greased!"

How do you know the physicist James Prescott Joule was not a nigger?
The joule is a unit of WORK

Nigger was walking down the street and sees a lamp. He says to himself: "Lawds if ize rubs dis here lamp three times ize gets me three wishes."
So the genie comes and says, "Ok boy, you got three wishes, what will they be?"
So the nigger says, "I wanna be white, uptight and outta site!"
So the genie turned him into a tampon.

The other day I went downtown to run a few errands. I went into the local
coffee shop for a snack. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was this cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. His insensitivity annoyed me, so I called him a 'Nazi.'
He glared at me and then wrote out another ticket for having worn tires.
So I proceeded to call him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo pig.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket when I called him a moron in blue.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I talked back to him the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't really care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08.'

A nigger walks into the doctor's waiting room with a frog on its head.
After a while, it's the niggers turn and he walks into the doctor's office.
The doctor says, "what seems to be the problem?"
Then the frog says, "Well, it actually started with this pimple on my ass.."

niggerhut


so this trucker is driving through south Georgia hauling a load of unfinished bowling balls. He's got to make it to New York we're they'll to be weighted, polished and fitted for finger holes. Along this back country short cut he blows a tire. He pulls over, amongst the sweat and profanity he fixes the blow out. When he turns around there's two little black boys sitting on a bike. They look at him and ask "Mista if you could we sure appreciate a ride?". "Sorry kid can't help you" replied the trucker. " But mista wesa tryin to getz to New York, gramamma gotz the fever and is real sick like" begged the little black boys. Trucker sighs and sees "you can ride in the trailer, if you don't mind sitting on bowling balls". In a flash the little black boys are up in the trailer bike and all. Befor the trucker closes the back doors he tells them "If your gonna be back here better stay quiet, I'll get in trouble if your seen". The trucker closes the doors and hops back up in his truck. A little while later and a few miles down the high way he gets pulled over by the county's sheriff and deputy. They apporoch the truck, and ask the trucker "what's the rush? Sure had this big truck rolling". The trucker tells them about the flat tire and he might miss his delivery dead line. The sheriff looks to his deputy "write this fella up, I'm going to see what he's got in the back". When the sheriff opens the doors he looks around, all he sees is two black boys, a bike and a pile of unfinished bowling balls. He slams the doors and yells " hold up deputy, I wanna have a word with this fella". When he gets back to the truck he steps up on the truck to look the driver in the eye, "now you listen, get your ass in gear and go. Don't stop for nothing until your across state lines, got it!". Trucker just nods and pulls away. The deputy asks " what the hell did you let him go for? What's back there?". Sheriff replies "he had a whole truck full of nigger eggs, two of them already hatched and stole a bike".

____________

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