courtesy of The Niggest!
Welcome to AFN, Sambo. Enjoy your stay.
The regulars of AFN will be humiliating you and your stupid, thoughtless, inane, typical-negro babbling on a regular basis until you get the message and fuck off. Don't kid yourself you're needed round here. Any negro scum will do - you're all the same.
First, the ground rules. While on AFN, you will obey your white masters and post only approved flames.
AFN-APPROVED FLAMES FOR USE BY NEGROES
There are only 6 known negro flames, and you will limit yourself to any of these:-
1/ Muh dick.
2/ Us niggers only fail everywhere because of racism.
3/ You racists are a tiny minority.
4/ You racists are powerless losers.
5/ I'm going to kill you muthafucka.
6/ Muh dick.
These are the only flames allowed to negroes, and this selection also describes every flame ever attempted by any negro, anywhere. If you think you have thought up the elusive "seventh negro flame", you may contact the AFN WebMassa and request its inclusion. Don't worry, he isn't holding his breath.
Negroes are allowed some interpretative latitude in complying with the above list. For example, "I beez fuckin white pussy, heh heheheh, white wimminz loves a nigga" is an AFN-Approved variation on Flame Number 1.
Posting in illiterate ebonics is encouraged. Michael Jackson noises are permitted. For instance, Flame Number 1 with Michael Jackson noises would read:-
hoo! hoo! Muh -- hee! hee! - Muh Dick! uh! uh! hoo! hee!
Negro posts should ideally be no more than 1 to 2 lines in length.
CLAIMING TO OWN THE GROUP
After you have posted 2 or 3 times to the group, and been humiliated, all negroes are required to state that they "ownz" or have "trashed" the group. This is mandatory. All negroes are required to do this.
Claiming to own the group will make your white masters happy, and they will smile upon you warmly. Negroes doing this are required to fail to notice that, if they weren't here, none of us would be.
USE OF SOCKPUPPETS
Negroes may not hold a conversation with other negroes on AFN. If you wish to do this, create multiple sockpuppet IDs and use them to fabricate an extended conversation with yourself in which you applaud your own posts.
If you are a socially unsuccessful negro, you should stay in on a Saturday night and construct a lovely pretend world full of imaginary friends who think you're very cool and witty.
USE OF HUMOUR
Negroes are strictly banned from posting anything humorous, as negroes have no sense of humour. If you have posted something you think is funny, but nobody agrees with you, and if you want an "attaboy" from other negroes, you should congratulate yourself on your own post via a sockpuppet.
Negroes should at no time post hundreds of acute and perceptive jokes about whites. Instead, negroes should wait until a human poster provides such a list, and then laboriously change the word "nigger" to "cracker" throughout the post before reposting it.
Negroes should at all times conclude their posts with "LOL", "ROTFL", or simply "bwahahahaha" to indicate that they think they have said something funny.
Some negroes think it funny to mailbomb the WebMassa by staying in on a Saturday night and laboriously posting 200 emails to him. The WebMassa thinks this is pretty funny too, given that there is such a thing as a "Block Sender" command, so negroes should do this frequently.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED IN A THREAD
Negroes will deal with this by claiming that they have "won". Negroes will also change the subject, leave the thread, or wilfully misunderstand the humans who are humiliating them. Optionally, you may alter or edit posts you are replying to, so as to enable you to retort more effectively. Negro SOP is to change the post so it says something different. As a first and last retort, there's always a "muh dick" post.
UNLIKELY AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL CLAIMS
Negroes are obliged, on pain of a whipping, to invent "achievements" in their allegedly wonderful negro's life. We have a way here in AFN of exposing negro lies. We can tell when you're lying very easily - simply put, if you're speaking, you're lying. This provides the humans on AFN with a good belly laugh. You are therefore required to lie about your life and achievements.
Approved lies include:-
- Having a math degree
- Not being a bus driver
- Owning your own home
- Having a job other than in a washroom or cafeteria
- Not being a racist yourself
- Being an erotic dancer (permissible because funny, though arguably a
"muh dick" post)
- Having ever read a book
- Being about to go to college
- Having ever paid for a meal without the use of food stamps
- Never having been to jail
- Not being a thief
- Never having raped anyone (female or homosexually)
- Claimed fluency in any foreign language (other than Ebonics)
REQUIRED ASSERTIONS FROM NEGROES
All negroes will, on pain of a whipping:-
1/ Claim that negroes are taking over the planet because of miscegenation. You will post this claim as often as you wish, but in any case at least once. You will disregard the opposite examples of the Americas, the Middle East and Malaysia as evidence that this never happens. You will conveniently forget that the inferior race is always exterminated, and that when there is no clearly inferior race (Malaysia), they self-segregate.
2/ Claim that the ancient Egyptians were negroes despite the fact that Egypt is a Mediterranean country whose inhabitants arrived from Mesopotamia. Optionally, negroes may also claim that King Arthur was a negro because Africa was in the Roman Empire. You may also claim that Bill Clinton is black because there are negroes in America (and you're on stronger ground with this one, given his behaviour).
3/ Claim that everything was invented by negroes, including the moon and atomic fission. My particular favourite negro claims are shoes and door handles, both of which have been quite seriously and repeatedly claimed by negroes on AFN as nineteenth-century negro inventions. AFN rules require you to deny vigorously that niggers only invented the spear and cannibalism. AFN rules also require negroes to attempt the theft of as much history as possible in order to refute the otherwise embarrassing matter of their never having achieved anything.
4/ Overlook the pivotal and continuing role of negroes in enforcing and profiting from slavery.
5/ At no time admit that medical science recognises the difference between whites, Asians, and negroes, and prescribes testing of new drugs on all three before they can be sold. Negroes will at all times maintain that, because it is possible to cross a Rottweiler with a Labrador, they are in all respects the same. Negroes will assume that all breeds of dog are indistinguishable from one another and will behave similarly at all times. Negroes may optionally argue that, because all three have four legs, a head, and a tail, and are approximately the same size, a wolf, cat, and sheep are the same animal.
A negro who obeys the rules is a happy smiling negro. All AFN negroes comply with the above at all times and to make your stay a happy one, so will you.
Back to top of page...
Back to the AFN FAQ...